I’ve heard it explained that “hey” used to be more of an urgent way to get someone’s attention, rather than a casual “hello” like it is now, so it sounded rude to some older folks.

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    Teachers in 2023: “NOOO you can’t end your sentences with ‘fr fr nocap skibidi’ those aren’t even real words!”

    2033:

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    When I was a waiter, there was no shortage of boomers getting genuinely upset with me saying “No problem” as a reply to “thanks”.

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      I prefer to say no problem over you’re welcome cuz it always (to me) sounds sarcastic/disingenuous when I say you’re welcome

      • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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        It’s like this:

        You have a boss. A wrinkled plus-sized brown business jacket of a man whose idea of “cutting costs” is turning the air conditioner off. If he caught on fire, you wouldn’t piss on him to put him out. How do you address him? “Good morning Mr. Perkins, how are you doing today?”

        You’ve got a war buddy. You met at boot camp, you served in the same company, he splinted your leg in the field, you’re his kids’ godfather. You’d kill and die for this man. How do you address him? “Ah god not this fucking asshole again.”

        Official formal polite language like “Thank you” and “You’re welcome” is the pair of nitrile gloves I put on to handle the really noxious shit that comes my way. “w’thanks man” and “no problem” means I’m willing to handle you with my bare skin.

      • EtherWhack@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        “No problem” also carries the implication that the favor was taken and done without ill will, where “you’re welcome” carries one of superiority

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          I like to say no problemo. It suggests that the favour was done with a touch of Mexican

        • oce 🐆
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          Superiority from using formal language?

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            Well one would expect it at a five star restaurant, but not your local dive. So… kinda…?

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              I thought it was every day life politeness, but I am not native. I would rather expect “the pleasure is all mine, sir” at a 3 Michelin stars restaurant.

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                To me “you are welcome” comes off as taking credit for something minor and expected. No problem does the opposite. I prefer when people say no problem generally over you’re welcome. And that’s why it’s become more common in a day in age where people are expected to be less servile.

                • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works
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                  Question for the Spanish speakers in the room: Is there even another term equivalent to “you’re welcome” other than de nada that people actually use? Not super familiar but Spanish seems like a language where “it’s nothing” or “no problem” has almost completely replaced other phrases responding to thanks.

                  Asked honestly and noting cultural differences that may apply here - could be there’s a more formal “you’re welcome” Spanish phrase and I’ve just never heard it. 'Cause, you know, I don’t live in a Spanish speaking place.

          • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.ee
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            When you say “you’re welcome”, you are granting welcome to someone. You’re bequeathing them a permission. You can only bequeath shit to people you’re better than. If someone’s welcome because they’re your equal or better, then they don’t need you to tell them.

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              It seems weird to me to derive that from what I was taught to be the standard expression to answer back to “thank you”. It didn’t seem to carry more meaning than vocalizing your acknowledgement of the given thanks.

              • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.ee
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                The younger generations were taught to treat others with common decency by default. That means nobody needs to be told they’re welcome.

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      Ugggggh I went through this with my (boomer) boss for years until she finally accepted it lmao. Then it was, “WORRIES, CaptFeather! WORRIES!” as a joke every time I said it lol

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        Nobody expects online gaming to be a bastion of proper grammar.

        People type in abbreviations when gaming mainly due to lack of time though… Much better to focus on the game than typing more than necessary to convey a simple message in those cases.

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        I only ever did that when typing via controller. If I had a keyboard I used full sentences but quickly. Sometimes the speed meant lack of proofreading though and weird things have been said.

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        Absolutely. I could understand it if it was a formal dining place I suppose. But it was a fucking Applebee’s in a 20k population town with one other restaurant lmao

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          Applebees is Sit down McDonalds with better food. If one of your seating option is at the fake wood bar its not fine dining.

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            A family member of mine briefly worked at Applebee’s. Literally everything is microwaved. I happened to get a Fettuccine Alfredo there and have one of the Marie Calendars frozen Fettuccine Alfredo meals (>$2 at the store) in the same week and realized once its plated you literally could not tell the two apart. Same quality, same quantity, but the store bought meal costs 1/5 the price and is somehow ready faster

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        “No problem” takes “You’re welcome” and implies that it was of no inconvenience to you either. But I understand that older generations find it important that service workers be most humbly at their service, and adhere to a strict social etiquette just short of “Yes, m’lord” and “Shall I suck upon your dick, sir?”

        “You’re welcome” is more appropriate in a professional setting, but if you’re getting your jimmies in a rustle over someone saying “No problem” to you instead, you’re a bit of an assfuck.

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          If you are a service worker at a restaurant, then that is literally your job, to serve.

          I love it when I order a sandwich at my local banh mi place near my office and you can see the cashier literally eye roll every customer that orders. They can’t even look you in the eye…

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            I don’t think either phrase is impolite. Good manners are a made up thing. If someone said ‘thanks’ to me and I said ‘tiddle dee dee’ I’m not being rude, just a bit weird, nobody’s honour has been questioned, I haven’t said anything that could be taken as an offence.

          • ImFresh3x@sh.itjust.works
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            It’s literally meanings of words strung together being described.

            You are welcome = you are welcome to my servitude

            No problem = I don’t mind doing this thing for you

            Oh you. 🤦‍♀️

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        And why do people need to pander to you specifically? Cant people be themselves?

        Those are narcissistic traits.

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            only one way to interpret “you’re welcome”

            This is just wrong. Tone matters just as much with “you’re welcome” as it does with “no problem”. Language is fluid like that, and it’s completely arbitrary to elevate one of these expressions over the other when both are in common usage.

            Also, you’re deliberately misrepresenting what “no problem” means, in regards to “that’s the only reason you complied”. Nobody says it that way, and I don’t believe that you think they do.

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            If someone says you’re welcome, you know they are a corporate drone and management wants them to say that to avoid certain people making a scene. Why’s it insincere to say no problem? In the same vein, they only said you’re welcome because they are complying too.

            There’s no issues with saying no problem unless you want there to be. Those are cool workplaces.

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                And so can you’re welcome. So why does it matter which phrase if both can be misconstrued?

                Language matters everywhere, who mentioned anything about an office building?

                And the only issue is you taking offense, there’s plenty of people who have no issues with no problem, but take offense from you’re welcome. Why is everything about you….?

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            The implication is that a problem was assumed until “no problem” was stated.

            “No problem” is absolutely low key rude.

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              To me, ‘No problem’ is just short for something like “oh don’t worry about it; it was really no problem at all and I’m happy to help”.

              Colloquialisms are fun like that.

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                The context in which the listener is expected to comprehend communication is important if the speaker hopes for the intended message to actually be communicated.

                If the speaker chooses to ignore how the listener is expected to perceive their communication then I’d say that actual communication was never truly their intent… seems more like linguistic masturbation to me.

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    It was “yo” for me. Any time I used it some old shit would complain. My mom called it n-word speak. Me and my mom don’t talk.

    I use it daily, mostly out of spite.

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    I’m glad that the attitude that if you don’t speak “correctly,” then you are not worth engaging with is dying out.

    Well, on the grammar front, anyway.

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      I’m glad the “not worth engaging with” attitude is dying out, but I do still think it’s important to push for people to communicate accurately and effectively, which includes understanding and following grammatical rules when needed.

      Language and vocabulary are essential to how we think and collectively problem-solve.

      • Mr_Blott@lemmy.world
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        Yep, I get the “Language is constantly evolving” argument, but if I have to read your sentence three times just to parse it because you were too lazy to press a few keys, I’d consider that disrespectful to whomever is reading your comments

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          The people who insist on communicating incorrectly are intentionally choosing either to be stupid or to fuck with people.

          Either way, I’m still not interested in interacting with them.

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            This but unironically /s

            No seriously, I have no clue what you were talking about but it’s very normal for any social group to develop a unique way of language that you have to learn when you want to engage. It’s not as if farmers wouldn’t use terms lay people don’t understand

            • 🐑🇸 🇭 🇪 🇪 🇵 🇱 🇪🐑@lemmy.world
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              Everything I said is actually kinda sensible and as a sentence made sense. Obviously it uses too much slang at once and no one would make a sentence purely made of slang like that, but theoretically it’s a valid sentence with modern slang.

              I’m old as hell. I solely learned this just to mess with the young ones lmao.

        • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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          But you make that decision based on social status not based on what the person is saying. If your manager wrote emails badly you would put in the effort to understand them. Not trying to pick on you, we all do this. My point it isn’t really about correct vs incorrect it is our tolerance for the how much effort we are willing to put in to understand.

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            That is only because they pay me to read their shit emails.

            If it is after hours, I treat them exactly the same as I would every other badly written thing.

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            Sorry, I missed your comment. I would beg to differ, I would certainly correct my boss if his emails were incomprehensible, absolutely.

            Maybe it’s living in a more equal society, I dunno. I wouldn’t be hauled up on it; he might be a bit pissed off, but couldn’t do anything about it

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        The point of language is to communicate information.

        If the information was successfully relayed, the language exchange was successful.

        If the person knows you MEAN “hello, I would like two of these items here, thank you good sir. hands cash and cashier says thank you You’re welcome. Have a pleasant day, sir” when you SAY “Sup, two please. Thanks man. No problem have a good one.” then you have successfully languaged.

        So when my wife with a plethora of issues involving word recall says some insane thing because she can’t remember the right words, as long as I understand what she means, her language did it’s job.

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      I think they are finding that they will be lonely if they want to continue to follow that path.

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      It should of died out long ago and on the side of academic linguistics did, but on the internet sadly not so much

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          Because these who feel hurt by this deserve to be hurt. No tolerant for intolerance

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        There’s descriptive and there’s prescriptive linguistics. The first is the scientific endeavor of finding out and explaining how a language works. The second is the realm of anal politicians from the colonialist era who used language as an oppression tool to suppress local cultures and force the hegemonic culture upon indigenous people to make it easier to dominate, eradicate and subjugate them. Currently regarded as one of the defining elements of Genocides. For examples see, Spanish, French, English, Russian, German, Dutch, Portuguese, Mandarin … well you get the idea.

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    “Hej,” pronounced “hey” is Swedish for “hello.” Also “Hej hej” these days if you want to be more casual. It seemed weird to me at first, like “Hej mormor,” for “Hello, grandmother,” seemed informal, but if I said, “God afton,” (good afternoon) my cousins said I sounded like a government issued language tape.

    • Firestorm Druid@lemmy.zip
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      Probably not a super accurate representation of Swedish language, but it always brings a smile to my face to hear Brigitte’s “hej hej” and other voicelines in Overwatch

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        From what I remember Brigitte’s voice is quite good, maybe a slight Disney princess tint to the voice, that I find a bit misfiting, but that’s about it. Her Swedish however isn’t bad at all.

        • Antik 👾@lemmy.world
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          Her Swedish however isn’t bad at all.

          Probably because the VA is Swedish. As with all characters in Overwatch they use native speakers. So English is actually their secondary language.

          • SgtAStrawberry@lemmy.world
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            Yeah I know, if I read the IMDB page right she was also the Swedish voice of Kim Possible. Which made me even more confused over the Disney princess tint in her voice, but I might not remember Kim’s voice to good, or she managed to not have the tint back then.

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    In the nineties, i had an old guy respond “‘Hey’ is the first stage of horse shit.”. I still use it to this day.

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      that’s so much better. I’m 100% incorporating that into my daily phrases

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    Was there really a cause behind that? I always thought it was people just being silly.

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        That is how I always perceived it. I can’t even imagine someone saying that with a straight face as a correcting rebuke.

        • Spendrill@lemm.ee
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          It does, and if there is a recorded version at that date you can bet it had been floating around for longer than that. Reason I said 50’s is because that was when my parent’s generation were in their young adulthood which if you think about it is where all these catchphrases really set up home in your brain. The other thing, now I think on it, is that it wasn’t said as a response to ‘Hey’ as a greeting it was always said to stop the somewhat Cockney way of indicating you hadn’t heard. What they wanted you to say was ‘Pardon?’ or even ‘I beg your pardon?’, they didn’t like ‘What?’ all that much and couldn’t abide ‘Eh?’ or ‘Ay?’ So it it was usually more of that same ‘Don’t talk to your elders like that’ bullshit that all the baby boomers rebelled against.

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      Same, and I still say it to little kids because it’s silly and confuses them for a second. “Hay is for horses. Aren’t you glad you’re a dog?”

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    My grandfather used to say that, but it was more of in a dad joke way rather than a ‘you shouldn’t say that’ way.

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    “Hay is for horses” is such a dope saying. I loved it, horses are dope.

    • Exactly. I thought it was just a silly joke to open up conversation.

      In Germany we have something similar. Our word for Hey, “Hai” actually has two meanings. Obviously it means “Hey” but also “Shark”

      So it was common to respond with either “Where” or the more famous “Fish”

      If you went for Fish it turned into a silly game of trying to compound the word as much as possible in responses to each other. Usually going like “Hey” “Fish” “Fin” “Soup”. Sharkfish fin soup

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    I remember my mom getting uptight over the word “sucks”, as in “that sucks” or “it really sucked”. Literally everyone was saying it, there was no way I could help it lol

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      My 3 year old daughter has started saying “Hey!” Right before sharing a brilliant idea like “let’s have ice cream for breakfast!” So I’ve started cutting her off with “Hay is for horses” and she just ignores me

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    I fought in the hey/hay wars in my early childhood. Weost many good soldiers, but their sacrifice was not in vain.