• blady_blah@lemmy.world
    364·
    2 days ago

    I always found the concept of a man opening a car door for a woman exceptionally insulting to women. I’ll open doors for people when I’m walking with them, man or woman, but running ahead of a woman to open the car door for them is cringeworthy * 10. I get second-hand embarrassment shivers just thinking about doing it on a first date.

    I like strong, independent, and capable women who are perfectly able to open car doors for themselves. Women who can hold their own in a conversation, are comfortable splitting a check, who are smart and educated, and who don’t need to me protect them like they are delicate flowers. I have never been with or talked with a woman in my social group (that I know of) who expected a man to open a car door for them.

    • ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world
      181·
      1 day ago

      My wife is educated, and can hold her own in a conversation. She’s witty and capable. I open her car door (not every time) because I like doing something nice for her. She appreciates the gesture, but doesn’t expect it. I think we should let the people in the relationship decide what works for them.

      My old boss said he knew a married couple who sat down every year on their anniversary and discussed whether they wanted to remain married. I got the impression they had been together for quite some time and really cared for each other. That is not for me, but if that works for them, great!

      • blady_blah@lemmy.world
        5·
        1 day ago

        Hey, you do you. I have no problem with it if it comes naturally. But any sort of expectation here just gives me the cringe-shivers. If the woman expects someone to open the door for her, yikes! If the man expects that he’s the one to open the car door for the woman, yikes! And the basis of this thread seemed to be more around a woman expecting to have the car door opened for her which is why I wrote what I wrote.

        • lobut@lemmy.ca
          5·
          24 hours ago

          yeah I think that’s important to emphasize. I think doing it to be corny/cheesy/romantic or whatever within your relationship is one thing. The expectation is another thing.

          I honestly had no idea what dating was growing up. All I saw was men opening doors and putting jackets over puddles. I was always like: “why wouldn’t you just walk around the puddle instead of ruining a jacket?” Also, when you grow up and find that a lot of those guys that do that chivalrous stuff are like wife-beaters and you’re like … wtf.

          • blady_blah@lemmy.world
            2·
            20 hours ago

            Yeah, I 100% agree about the chivalry and dating. And as soon as you say the woman is as strong as me (from a competence, intellect, and emotional standpoint) and is an equal partner in a relationship, a lot of the chivalry stuff doesn’t make sense.

    • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
      10·
      2 days ago

      Sometimes.

      Sometimes they even shut by themselves.

      Signed, a Honda Odyssey owner.

      I love having a minivan but there is just soooooooooo much shit that can break expensively. Doors especially.

      My kids are bigger now. Maybe get a real passenger van…or an older minivan where the doors are manual and let out a satisfying KERCHUNK when they are opened/shut.

      • AA5B@lemmy.world
        6·
        2 days ago

        You can probably make that happen with yours. When our Toyota Sienna lost power in the doors we decided it was too old to invest that much money into them. It was much cheaper to cut away the cable and disconnect power so they operated just like any manual sliding door

        • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
          2·
          2 days ago

          On my car, the actuator that unlatches the door is electronic and apparently can get “stuck”, keeping the door from opening more than a crack.

          Fortunately this most recent time I figured out how to fix it, by jamming a screwdriver in there and prying it open. But even then I had to disconnect the battery for a few minutes after to reset the door system. Why things gotta be so complicated? Why can’t the latch mechanism be cable driven like, ya know, every other car.

          Also there’s nothing to grab hold of to shut or open the door from the inside. So I think a manual door conversion isn’t possible. But worth looking into for the future.

          • AA5B@lemmy.world
            1·
            1 day ago

            That’s unfortunate. Our minivan was older so the latch was mechanical, and the handle identical to the previous mechanically opening door

  • don@lemm.ee
    341·
    2 days ago

    No we just stand around our vehicles and wait for quantum probability to randomly replace the closed door car with one that has open doors. tf you think we do you dunce

  • darvocet@infosec.pub
    10·
    2 days ago

    As a young person i for sure did this for my girlfriends. They would then reach over and unlock it for me. That was a perfect time to let that fart out you were holding.

    These days with a remote it’s just stupid to waste the time. Women’s rights and all that. Now i just fart in the car without worrying.

  • neidu3@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    13·
    2 days ago

    Generally true, but I’ve had to enter my car via the trunk more than once due to the doors freezing shut.

      • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world
        13·
        2 days ago

        When it gets really cold my doors have issues. So a few months back I was leaving for work on a Tuesday morning at 2:30am. (Delivery trucks would arrive at 3:30am Tuesdays that’s why I remember). I get in the old 94 Cherokee and back down the drive. As I head down my street I see 2 cop cars stopped at the corner right before the turn I need to take out of the neighborhood. As I approach I brake and start to swing to the right just a tad to make sure they have room in case they got out of the car, and good thing I did because as I passed them MY door swung open and would have knocked the side view mirror off the cop car had I not. The cop just saw me panickingly lean and reach out with my left hand to snatch the door to pull it shut, my seat belt pops open at that moment and I almost fall out of the car but manage to close the door, fight with the seatbelt and take the turn only to continue driving wondering how far I would get before those cops pulled me over assuming I was drunk and when they find out I’m not give me a ticket for I have no idea what. The bars close here at 3am, so drunk drivers are plenty around that time.