I woke up almost 3 hours earlier than usually, and pretty much immediately had to start going off on my doctor about my lexapro. Chilled for a while after, did small things around the house, napped, and just got back from a not-quite-practice sesh with the bands drummer. We mostly just hooked my amps up to different speakers and played with different gain pedals to get good tone for recording.

I dunno, things have just felt…off all day. Sitting in the twilight with the corgi rn and the feeling still hasn’t gone away.

Oh well, I guess shrug-outta-hecks

  • PaX [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    19·
    3 months ago

    Something has been deeply wrong with the noosphere recently, more than usual I mean

    It’s been like that for years now but only accelerating recently

    Accepting visual-symbolic information input at this address about when this phenomena began, my guess is like around 2014 or 2015

    SOrry,p lastics in my brain

  • Sickos [they/them, it/its]@hexbear.netEnglish
    16·
    3 months ago

    I swear my vibes-meter has been alerting more and more often. Dunno if it’s just US politics infecting my brain, or work stress increasing, or ever-present family bullshit, but the natural stress levels have been going up constantly.

      • PaX [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
        3·
        3 months ago

        Thanks, I made an appointment and someone reached out to talk to me about financial assistance for it. Not worried anymore.

        I’m really glad, going off antidepressants is painful

        Whats up with you?

        I don’t even know

        Just feels like I’m dying most of the time until I get too tired to worry anymore, then that restarts the next day

        Don’t know what to do about my ADHD anymore, person I was seeing doesn’t wanna give stimulants and I tried everything else now lol

        No money, no job, no hope, can’t see my friends due to lack of money and willpower, time rapidly passing but seems like I can’t do anything with it, feels like I’m lost in a mental fog most of the time, can’t stop overeating, etc etc etc, only getting worse with each passing month

        Sorry, this kinda getting to be a lot, don’t feel like you have to reply ofc. Ate a lot of caffeine, only thing that kinda makes me functional, can’t stop posting random shit :(

          • PaX [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
            3·
            3 months ago

            yea Many such cases in this hellworld that we inhabit

            I ate 2 200 mg caffeine pills and a Monster today lol, can barely get out of bed without a caffeine pill anymore lmao

            It’s definitely bad for me but it seems like I can’t stop

            Am sorry to hear you feel the same :(

            I hope it gets better, for both of us, not that I have any idea about how it can or if it actually will or what that would even look like and so on and so on but strange things do happen sometimes

            Very doomer tonight doomjak

            • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
              4·
              3 months ago

              Shit just feels almost…cinematic, doesn’t it? Or maybe I’m just disassociating a little and only like, half realize it? I dunno.

              Yeah, I feel like I really need some sort of stimulant since I’m always so fucking tired.

              Guess there’s a show at my local bar tomorrow night, two of the staff members respective bands. It’s 2 blocks from home, but since I can’t really bring the pups to that environment (even tho it’s a dog friendly bar we chill together at plenty, I don’t wanna hurt their ears) I feel like I’m already starting to mentally set myself up to not go.

              • PaX [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
                3·
                3 months ago

                Shit just feels almost…cinematic, doesn’t it? Or maybe I’m just disassociating a little and only like, half realize it? I dunno.

                It kinda does sometimes but yeah maybe that’s some kind of cope lol

                Yeah, I feel like I really need some sort of stimulant since I’m always so fucking tired.

                That’s so real :(

                Always tired, sometimes anxious energy compels me to do things, about to go touch-grass with my friend maybe that help with feelings idk

                Guess there’s a show at my local bar tomorrow night, two of the staff members respective bands. It’s 2 blocks from home, but since I can’t really bring the pups to that environment (even tho it’s a dog friendly bar we chill together at plenty, I don’t wanna hurt their ears) I feel like I’m already starting to mentally set myself up to not go.

                It’s sweet you’re considering how they would like the noise

                Can you go without them?

                Give headpat to comrade Bailey and Barney for me (if that’s not weird lol)

                • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
                  4·
                  3 months ago

                  Will do! We all just had a nice walk, just got dark out and the crickets are chirping. I can def go to that show tomorrow without them, we’ll see if I feel up to it. Might have to force myself, my therapist and I were talking about my “social cocoon” this week and it could be good to go.

                  Have fun with your friend! Hope you feel better!

  • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
    10·
    3 months ago

    This happened to me once. I believe it was an episode of depersonalization or whatever the other one is. Either way, I was writing an essay and suddenly everything felt strange and off. Like a switch activated and suddenly I “became” aware of my environment, my body, my fingers. Everything seemed foreign. I mean, I recognized that I was staring at a computer, staring at my fingers, my room. Yet it felt like I had suddenly been beamed to a life that wasn’t mine. Essentially, hillary-apartment

    I eventually just laid on the ground and stared at the ceiling. After 20 or so minutes I snapped back to reality and realized I needed to finish my essay. I was in high school and didn’t do any drugs.

    • GeorgeZBush [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      9·
      3 months ago

      No wonder your username is RyanGosling because you’re just like me fr fr.

      Something similar has been happening to me on and off for over a year. First happened while I was driving and it was terrifying. Like I was hyperaware of everything and how fragile consciousness is. I still can’t fully articulate the feeling. It felt like the world around me was a movie, and at any second it could all just blink out of existence.

      • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
        3·
        3 months ago

        It felt like the world around me was a movie, and at any second it could all just blink out of existence.

        Sometimes I feel like some celestial being is mindlessly changing the astral channels with its remote, landing on my channel, watching for a few minutes (thus taking over and making me feel like an alien) and realizing it’s boring, then switching to the next channel.

      • rootsbreadandmakka [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
        3·
        3 months ago

        It felt like the world around me was a movie, and at any second it could all just blink out of existence.

        Went through an entire semester like this in college, I don’t know how I managed to get through it. I ended up taking the next semester off though, which was nice. It seems to be linked to anxiety for me, when my mind is just constantly “on” and running with no rest, it’s like I guess I get laser focused on my inner thoughts and inner world, and the rest of the world becomes distant. I definitely used the movie comparison, and I would especially compare it to floating through a dream. I’d get really fearful whenever something out of the ordinary happened, like I remember once waking up from a nap and my family had all left the house, although I didn’t know they were leaving or where they went. Got really scared that I had been imagining everyone for years and that I was the only person who existed. Then I called them and they still existed, I forget where they actually were, but I was just extermely on edge for the better part of that year.

  • Rom [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    8·
    3 months ago

    I’ve been feeling good the last few days, actually sending out messages to cute people on a dating website I’ve been using for a long time. Haven’t gotten any responses back and almost never do, probably because my profile picture sucks and I can’t take good pictures of myself. But the rest of my profile is good.

  • MayoPete [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    5·
    3 months ago
    CW: death, gore

    I saw a Palestinian boy with his head blown apart today. A human child that looks like some of the kiddos running around here. Dead. Half his head is just gone.

    And I am supposed to care about anything else going on? IDK, there are days where I feel like Humanity deserves extinction. Fuck “death to america”, death to humans

  • Findom_DeLuise [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    4·
    3 months ago

    Mine are definitely off, but that’s probably a combination of being on the tail end of my HRT dose and having just binge-watched all of Neon Genesis Evangelion. I found it thought-provoking, if “fuck you for reminding me that people who are way too into Freud’s bullshit still exist” counts as a thought, and Komm Süsser Tod has been stuck in my goddamned head for two days now. I’m about to resort to Dragonforce as an ear-dewormer.

  • ClimateChangeAnxiety [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    4·
    3 months ago

    My partner called her grandma yesterday to say happy birthday and her grandma unprompted started talking about “war in the Middle East” and “possible escalation” and basically warning that WW3 starting will make it more difficult to get jobs

    Yeah I’d say the vibes aren’t great

  • FeelThePower@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    3·
    3 months ago

    I woke up insanely early after like 3 hours of actual overnight sleep, and then slept from mid day all the way until it was dark outside. I also found out that while I was sleeping, the delivery trucks at my job have been cancelled so I have like a week straight off of work with no money to even enjoy it because, well, I’m missing work.

  • LocalOaf [they/them, ze/hir]@hexbear.netEnglish
    1·
    3 months ago

    Saw this yesterday and wanted to reply to it but was going to bed and got too tired to write something but was thinking about it and writing something else brought me back to it so I’m editing that to fit here

    Had a weird ambient foggy kind of mental distance between myself and other people and the world lately. It’s a nearly constant companion but it ebbs and flows for me and lately it’s been pretty thick and just feels like some kind of background radiation or ground electrical hum to me where complete strangers or traffic noises are all somehow passively hostile to me in particular, like I’m just fundamentally out of phase with the world in a way that creates feedback and dissonance around the people are in phase with it, idk. (yes, I do have a GAD diagnosis lol, but it’s… different lately in a way that’s hard to place.)

    Yeah, I dunno what it is, I don’t buy into astrology but lunar cycle stuff does make animals act strange sometimes and there was a “supermoon” recently? I dunno, the vibes definitely have felt off in a distinct way that’s noticeably different from how fucked the vibes are ordinarily though.

    sicko-wistful