30 something woman here, apparently I masturbate a lot compared to my friends.
I have to say “yeah once a week too” when they raise the subject ,when in fact it is multiple times a day. Husband would also do 2 times a day if he kept to his “normal” cadence. I know “whatever works for me” is right, but I’d like to compare to other people my age that aren’t my friends.
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30s male - Most days, sometimes multiple times. Lately it’s been a lot. Not sure what that’s about.
If it does not interfere with your life, then it’s not a problem.
Might be a hot take, but:
- Sex is completely normal and natural.
- Most of the sex addiction discourse is astroturfed by christian fundamentalists.
- Most of the sex addiction stories I’ve read so far is just people wishing their life back before they had those weird urges, that came at a time they’re way too immature for them mentally.
- Unless you’re some variant of asexual, you will have sexual needs. They’re hardwired into you. Please them as long as
- the way of pleasing them won’t harm you,
- it doesn’t violate someone’s consent.
- The “grindset” is toxic, people should work less than 40 hours/week by this point, not 100 hours. The problem isn’t too much time for sex but rather not enough time for it.
Do note: many asexuals also have sexual needs.
Asexuality by default is the absence of physical attraction, but hormones pay a part in many other functions in the body.
Also, because of the culture I’m in unwillingly (thanks puritans who founded this country), it feels really weird to have urges, but never want to have sex in any way.
I believe a person without urges is refered to as alibidoist.
This comment is less for you, and possibly for others like me who misinterpretted the words growing up and think they are somehow different enough to be alone when there are people with all sorts of experiences all over the spectrum.
Have you considered that the friends might be insincere about their own frequency too? In many societies masturbation is considered shameful. Even when people admit they do it, they might not want you to think they do it “too much”.
what? I never!
When I was a teenager and early 20s, a few times a day, tbh. Holy shit, when I was a teenager, i was so fucking horny, like all the fucking time. then my twenties were the same, my thirties were very very different (next to no libido). these days? Almost never anymore. Just don’t have a libido anymore :/ I am a bit of an old codger though. So maybe that explains it?
Username checks out
Never would have expected a “30 something woman” to be behind that username.
I mean my husband and I have been sharing links to cumshot porn with each other for over a decade. But I get it. Not your average 30 something woman’s username 😆
That’s sweet in a gross way.
Haha, I guess it is sweet, not gross for us though
I think it’s more salty than sweet
And also gross in a sweet way.
You must be a hell-raiser in the bedroom…
🙄
Gonna need a top 5 then
I watch hundreds a day, I’m not sure I could choose 5
Very frankly, this statement right here has me thinking about porn or sex addiction. If you don’t think it’s negatively affecting your life (relationships, employment, self-esteem, sexual fulfillment, etc), then you keep doing you (hehe). If you find you’re putting aside other meaningful activities on a regular basis to click the mouse, maybe take a deeper look at that pattern and consider talking with a sex-positive therapist
Forgive me for asking, but would you be able to explain the appeal ? I’ve always been a little puzzled by this fetish, to be blunt it always seemed like a waste of a creampie x)
For me at least, it is all about how it looks when it shoots and how it looks and feels on skin, there is something very visceral about ropes of white liquid flying through the air and landing on skin. For me, a creampie is a waste of a good load.
Have you seen the type of books 30 something women consume?
We be horny out here.
A lot of my friends are very into the whole erotica thing. I am far too visual a person to spend a lot of time doing that, personally.
I never got into the bodice-ripper novels, but there’s definitely some literotica mixed in with visual porn in my preferences.
Mostly visual though.
It’s been nice to see that women who enjoy the written word have an avenue to be as horny as they like without as much judgment lately though haha
Agreed and sometimes, the right erotic story can be very very moistening. I remember reading some as a late teen and those images still appear sometimes when I fantasise
Moistening hahaha. I might copy that phrase!
Also I can’t lie, knowing you’re a woman makes your posts that much hotter. Thanks! Haha
And no lie, I’ve kind of always hoped that women looked at my posts, but never had confirmation, and now I do, so…moistening lol. So thank you.
All of my coworkers (age 25-60) read the porn stories.
The conversations you’ve had with your coworkers to even know that make me wanna… come …work there, too!
30-something is a lot younger than most people realise x)
Women’s libido typically peak around 30, so usually when you find hypersexual women they’re in their 30s.
It can peak up into women’s mid-40s, not at 30. But you are correct, women in their 30s and 40s tend to be hornier.
Heh, well its the main reason I “cum” here, especially on Fridays.
I’ve appreciated your posts a time or two myself. I’d say my usual is every other day, but I’d also say you’re totally normal with your frequency as well.
Women’s sex drives tend to rise as we age. Enjoy the ride!
The fact that another woman has appreciated something I’ve posted is incredibly awesome, and more than a little bit sexy, so thank your for sharing that. I can’t imagine my sex drive increasing much, well I can, but it would be crazy :)
Maybe yours will, maybe you got lucky with a real stable drive. It’s all a guessing game when it comes down to individuals!
Your comments resonated with me, I’m not dissimilar to you honestly hahaha. Cum is hot!
I was not expecting any women to honestly reply, so to get a reply from a woman containing the words “Cum is hot” might be the most fantastic thing that has happened to me since my husband shared a link to something that made me insta-cum the other week. Thanks for your honest and open replies. Keep enjoying the white ropes, the idea of it is very sexy for me.
Hahah this is awesome. I definitely will 💕
This is about to be a top 5 all time lemmy comment thread lol
personally, 3-4 times a day.
that’s mostly because the world is going to shit and I need that dopamine boost.
Good hit of my weed pen and I’m masterbating for hours, not continuous, when I get off there’s a cool down time where I watch TV and then switch back and resume.
cis man here. I’d say everyone should either have sex or masturbate once a day. but the thought of multiple times a day feels exhausting. if you have the time and are happy with it though, don’t let peer pressure make you feel any bad. actually I’d push against my friends and say once a day confidently. maybe that’s what they’re missing in their lives. act like they’re the crazy ones. like why not?
As long as it isn’t interfering with your life, flick that bean. It’s not hurting anyone.
You don’t need to compare yourself to others. They’re not you. Twice a day doesn’t sound excessive to me. 20 times a day might, but twice? It’s your body.
Also keep in mind female masturbation has, until recently, been discouraged by western culture as deviant. It may be that some of your friends are downplaying their own regularity for social pressure (you already mentioned you vocally agree with what they say – others are probably doing that, too).
I do it every month or so for the dopamine, but I’m asexual. I’d say even a few times every day is fine. If you think it’s disruptive to your life, I’d recommend therapy, but that’s like if you can’t focus in a meeting because you haven’t done it for an hour and that’s all you can think about. Otherwise, just enjoy yourself. You’re fine.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply. For me it is between 2 and 4 times a day depending on several factors. It definitely isn’t disruptive, I just wanted to gauge what is normal for me against others.
I think everything is normal that is natural for you and isn’t disruptive.
Sorry for the Reddit link, and I don’t know your age, but you may find this discussion in the psychologyofsex sub interesting.
‘Normal’ is a very wide range.
That is really interesting, thank you. I think I may be an outlier, it definitely hasn’t really increased for me since I started and so far has not decreased in my early 30s
Some people in that thread said the same. Like I said, everything is normal. There’s a huge range, from a few times a day to a couple of times a year. Just don’t judge yourself against others, and especially wth something as personal as this. I think your 2-3 times per day is perfectly fine. /hugs
I guess in reality I am more interested in what other people’s cadence is than concerned about my own, but that is just my ever present voyeuristic tendency. It is good to know that I am fairly “normal” if that is even a thing. Thank you for taking the time to reply.
If you just randomly wanted to know everyone, I’m also an outlier from the opposite pole of the spectrum lol.
For my it’s maybe several times a year when I get curious enough to try. Never has worked out tho. I always compare it to that to me it probably feels like what touching your elbow is like. It just feels like my body and nothing “good” or interesting happens when I try. It’s like someone forgot to hook up my wiring or something. Always been this way.
Interesting. If you don’t mind me asking, do you get mentally excited? Do you feel physically attracted to people? An urge to do something?
Like others have said, normal is a very broad range and there’s nothing wrong with being an outlier at either end.
If you’re talking about the average or medium cadence, then your frequency is above average.
I’m kinda envious of you having so much time to yourself.
Haha! well I’ve always been able to achieve a satisfying outcome pretty quickly. Again compared to my friends, I am much faster, though porn helps a lot. I work from home and the time between meetings seems to be ideal.
Normal is between once a month to multiple times a day.
For males there’s some health benefits related to unloading the balls twice a week, reduced risk of prostate cancer. I’m not aware of studies focused on the topic for females, so that’s more of unknown ground today
I think the stat is at least 21x per month. So more like 5-6x per week for prostate health benefits.
29 year old woman. A few times a week, on average, I’d say. Potentially multiple times in a day.
When I have a partner, I tend to do it way less though, because I find that the sex is way better if I refrain from masturbating. Orgasms from masturbation aren’t particularly satisfying for me unless I try to do a whole build up that I rarely have the time or energy for.
Worth mentioning that autism makes my general sensory experience pretty weird — I’m hypersensitive to most stimuli, and that also affects touch. This feeds into my above preferences in complex ways.
I also have a few physical disabilities that mean I’m less likely to be able to enjoy sexual pleasure as much unless I’m in the right mindset (i.e. chronic pain can distract from the physical pleasure).
It’s possible that you’re ahead of the curve when it comes to knowing what you like. I had a friend who was capable of reaching orgasm through masturbation, but it took so much effort that she rarely did it. Then she had a partner who helped her to figure out her own idiosyncratic preferences in terms of what she needed to reach orgasm, and that sparked a period where she “felt like a teenage boy” with how often she was masturbating. She was 32 at this point.
I have another friend who didn’t even orgasm until she was 31 due to only having dated guys who were stereotypical straight dudes, which had calibrated her bar of what to expect super low (not just in what she expected from partners, but in terms of what sexual pleasure could feel like in general).
Another friend didn’t masturbate at all until she was 28 (with the exception of some occasional pillow humping that she would feel tremendous shame about) due to religious trauma.
Unfortunately, the society we live in doesn’t really equip women well to be able to come to understand our bodies and communicate our sexual needs. A lot of my friends in their 30s (especially the women) have said that they’re loving their 30s way more than their 20s because of this kind of thing. 30 is still relatively young, so maybe (likely in addition to a naturally higher libido) you just have figured out what you like sooner than your friends have. Maybe some of them are yet to have an awakening of some sort, and the average rate of masturbation will be higher in a few years.
Thanks! Many of my female friends have also said they they started masturbating later than I did, some into their 30s. I am very lucky to have always been able to reach orgasm really easily and quickly and have been genuinely shocked in the past when female friends have talked about difficulty in reaching climax.
It’s a sin so never. /s
From what I gathered, it’s weird if you don’t stop for food, or in public. Other than that it’s more or less normal.
So I go to my doctor and he says, “you know you really need to stop masturbating so much”. I ask, “why, I thought it was a normal habit?” He says, “you need to stop because I can’t clean your teeth like this!”
doctor Clean your teeth Hmmm. Something isn’t adding up for me. I think the joke works much better if it’s your dentist!
As much as you want to is normal. Suppressing your libido to fit in is not normal.
It is normal, its just fucked up and unhealthy.
Hey peeps, I’m pretty sure they’re reacting to the SECOND “normal” statement, not the first.
It’s not normal to suppress your libido to fit in.
I think the point is that it shouldn’t be.
It is societally expected in much of the world, however - and the degree to which it’s expected also varies with gender and culture.
Note that I’m saying this as someone who has largely decided to reject societal expectations, and who is a fuckload happier as a result.
I think it varies enough that calling it “normal” is inaccurate.
What you want to be normal and what is actually normal are not the same thing. Regardless of best wishes, it actually is normal in a shocking number of places. Unless you’re referring exclusively to the small social circle you live in, but that’s not really a useful data point for us to discuss, because it’s not what the conversation is actually about.
Why ask when you can invent an outgroup to be mad at?
20s male. Generally once per day but I find it’s easier and easier to forget and I sometimes go a week without thinking about it. I rarely if ever do 2. I’ve gotta cool down for 20 minutes between, which gives a lot of time to realise I should be doing something else.
1-2 daily sounds totally within normal range.
I’m a 48yo guy but for what it’s worth, when I don’t masturbate it’s usually a sign of depression.
Once or twice a day sounds normal to me, like going to the toilets.Satisfying sex will satiate me for much longer than a quick wank though.
I’d comment on my wife but I think her aphantasia and almost complete ignorance of porn makes her particularly uncommon, regarding masturbation.
Guy in my 20s. I do it about 3-4 times a week sometimes less. Usually not 2 days in a row. I don’t think my gf does it at all sadly.
