The unsubscribe confirmation screens are always like. “ARE YOU SURE??? THIS MIGHT BE A MISTAKE. IF YOU MADE AN ACCIDENTAL MISTAKE YOU CAN UNDO IT HERE!!!”.
You know why I’m here, you annoying fuck.
You know why I’m here, you annoying fuck.
Do you though? Are you sure? Positive? Pinkie promise? Before you answer that, please let us know why you’re unsubscribing:
- I have mental health issues
- I want to deprive myself from these amazing offers and deals
Pleass to confirm you want to unsubscribe give us an email address we might or might not flood with spam or sell to some chinese data harvesting company
Please log in to update subscriptions settings.
which would of course be so much worse than a US data harvesting company
You already sold your data for the american one when you signed up for the service
I assume you copy pasted this from cards against humanity, cause that sounds like something they would do ironically
No, I cooked it up all by myself with my thinkbrain
Also, the whole “it may take 3 to 5 days to remove you from the list” bullshit. That’s a slow fucking database they’re updating, which is strange because they added my address to it in about 15 milliseconds.
This doesn’t have anything to do with email, but along the same lines…
Why can stores take money out of my bank account immediately when I pay, but when getting a refund, it takes 3-5 business days?!
Fraud. It takes a while for them to receive the funds even though they are charged against your account almost instantly.
Good thing businesses have never once committed fraud. That would be terrible.
I used to work in online promotions, things like collect and win, enter a code to win an xbox, that type of jazz…
It’s not that the local deletion can’t take place immediately… It’s that they have to legally cover their asses because there’s a whole chain of backups, mirrors, scheduled things blah blah… It literally might take that long for all of the changes to propagate through the full system.
Usually once you unsubscribe, you’re added to the unsubscribe list, and then the local deletion happens with the nightly Cron job. It really is almost done immediately but they just legally cover their rear ends from that point forward because there is a chance it does linger somewhere within the greater system
I’m not going into all the technicalities but that’s the basic reason
Hell I’ve seen 30 days. Sometimes they are using a third-party - it still should be almost immediate these days.
I used to do data reporting and list generating that sometimes involved working with advancements marketing. The email marketing system set a static list before it was actually sent. So you could have a draft ready 3 days ahead of time and each unsubscribe wouldn’t impact the static list they already set up. They eventually upgraded to a better system, but I could see situations where 3-5 business days is actually necessary, simply due to poorly planned technology.
They’re so goddamn needy about that shit, and why even? Nobody reads promotional emails anyway. Straight to spamm/trash. Who fucking thinks this is a good way to spend resources?
Might as wel make a random number generator and harvest that as data.
They’re so goddamn needy about that shit, and why even?
because the more difficult they make it, the more likely you wont go through with it, so their numbers stay up and looking good, and they may eventually put something infront of you that’d you’d accidentally click.
It’s a dark pattern. Some % of people will drop without properly reconfirming, so they avoid some unsubs.
It should go without saying that if your business strategy is hoping people get confused and accidentally use your services, nobody needs your services.
Not even on the list of things they care about. If this business idea fails they will go back to mugging in the park
Not to mention some of the confirmation pages are intentionally setup to confuse people into resubscribing. The text will be like “we’re so sorry to see you go. If this was a mistake, press the big blue ‘CLICK HERE’ button to resubscribe, otherwise click the small print ‘close’ button that looks like plain text to continue.” And again, some % of people are just not gonna pay that much attention and click the button that jumps out at them rather than reading the full text of the page.
I was intern at a company and the tasked me to design their e-commerce, when i made the button for deleting stuff from the cart i made it a red trash can, i showed it to my boss and he said “make it the same color as the other buttons, otherwise people notice it too much and we lose money” that pissed me off a little, not only it was harder to spot and ruined the design choice, it also was decided with the intent of deceiving people…
I agreed to one once for a gambling website because they promised me a bunch of free bets if I did. Then after a few unsavoury encounters with the service I went and unsubscribed.
A week later I got an email from them reminding me about all the controls and limits they have in place, which will help me more safely enjoy such AWESOME GAMES AS WALLETFUCKER 3, ASSETLIQUIDATOR and new in this week, DEBT-RAISER.
^this does not qualify as marketing materials as it is simply information about our safety features^
i have ass liquidation on the regular. Thanks IBS
Special place in hell for the sites that want you to LOG IN to unsubscribe.
Looking at you, aliexpress.
And they email you every time one of the people in the delivery chain sneezes and there’s no way to stop them from doing that without disabling the notifications entirely like jfc just tell me when it gets here!
Is this not illegal under CAN-SPAM?
Are Chinese shit merchants bound to follow whatever that is?
Technically, they are if sending emails to Americans, but I’m not sure how much enforcement this law gets.
LinkedIn is
If you unsubscribe then some outreach metric will drop and that will look bad to upper management because it’s correlated with sales.
I can make upper management look bad by unsubscribing to every email that strays into my inbox?? Count me in!
I just signed you up to the top 10,000 purveyors of email spam, HAVE FUN!
If you never accidentally unsubscribed I guess that means those confirmation screens are working then!
Nor have I ever intentionally subscribed to one.
The Liberal Party of Canada sent me FOUR fundraising emails in the same fucking day. 3 the prior day, three the day before that. It was 15 emails in a week.
They also labelled the emails “official contribution record” just to make it fucking awful to search my inbox for tax receipts.
I’ve never fucking unsubscribed from a list harder. The people running that campaign must be the dumbest fucks alive.
I think they’re all like that, provincial too. Aggressive af. I made an email alias dedicated to political fundraisers and had them auto sort into a folder that auto deletes emails after anything reaches 1 month old because I knew NDP would spam me to death doing anything for them lol. Even if you ubsub from main, you’ll still be on every individual member’s separate email list and more.
I get like 6-7 a day from various DNC campaigns because at one point I gave ActBlue my email, and they apparently disseminated it to fucking everyone. If I thought it would help, I’d send them a nastygram to get them to take me out of all their lists, but I’m more or less 100% sure the horse is well out of that barn already, and there’s no one central list that I can get un-subbed from anymore.
I got hit with something like that because I responded to a survey from my representative. It’s like I responded to your survey because you’re my representative, not because I personally support you or your political party.
I don’t get this.
Once Gmail and co mark you as spam you’re NEVER getting through and can’t appeal.
You have to make your emails actually relevant otherwise you’re gone from 90% of people’s inbox.
That goes for the 6 follow up emails begging for reviews after I make a purchase. Congrats, now I don’t see your order placed or order delivered emails.
But some exec is looking that you’re sending emails with X frequency and now the ever dwindling CTR — which they’ll blame on Apple and privacy tools, but you can only measure by tracking the thing you wanted being done and not the click or open data.
I did a brief stint doing email analytics and people are fucking stupid.
…I don’t even bother unsubscribing anymore. I just click the ‘report spam’ button and never see their shit again.
I’m a fair man, I’ll give them one chance to unsubscribe me. If I get another email? “Off to Spam with you!”
UK comment:
Anglian windows. Do NOT under any circumstance answer the door to their friendly salesman and do NOT give them your email.
There is no way to opt out of them. No unsubscribe button, nothing. I finally got them to take me off their mailing list, and to stop calling me by threatening to report them to Ofcom.
Will never buy a window from these guys. Too aggressive sales tactics, and they’re not even cheap.
Shout out to the unsubscribe buttons that do it without confirmation, but leave a re-subscribe button on the page just in you actually accidentally unsubscribe.Assume the button is there just in case and doesn’t have a sob story attached to it.
Some even have the audacity to automatically subscribe you to the newsletter on account creation (to download/see something account-locked, like, external links).
Some will provide a checkbox and then sign you up regardless
I also never in my life accidentally subscribed to one, but still for “some” reason I end up subscribed to every one. Still think they bank on people thinking they just misremember if they checked the box correctly creating an account somewhere.
