my parents only had manuals and I ended up taking the test a few years later with my friends automatic because they wanted to do a road trip and wanted me to take driving shifts.

I remember back when I first started learning to drive, dad tried to teach me in his SAAB 95 BioPower estate, it was a manual, it was terrifying.

I only took a few lessons before stopping, almost two daceds later, 2022 I enrolled with a local driving school, learned in a VW Golf Automatic. It was still scary at first, but at 34 was ready in a different way than when I was 18 or so.

Still, it took me almost a year of driving lessons to pass my test, though I did do it while working full time at the same time (I didn’t take a vacation that year, I took sporadic days to attend driving classes).

The first time I took the test I failed as I didn’t keep attention to where the car were in relation to a wall and the examinor had to step on the brake.

The second time went well, and I passed it.

Then for half a year, my dad and me went out on the weekends and I drove his car (a Volvo v90 Automatic), that was absolutely critical, I got the practice I needed and got to spend some quallity time with dad.

Then in the summer of 2023, I bought my first car, a 2021 Seat Leon PHEV hatchback Automatic, and I just went nuts!

In the first year of owning the car I drove 40000km, I drove like absolute mad, every day I got in my car and drove for hours, I explored the local area and the car, not to mention got used to driving.

That was also critical, driving so much has made me a confident driver, though perhaps a bit over confident as I got my first speeding ticket this summer going 10kmh over the limit at a surprise police speed trap.

Then this summer a badger decided to run into my car while I was driving 60, getting that sorted now.

These incidents have made me a calmer driver, especially when it is now getting darker here in Sweden.

I have a few rules of my own that have been very helpful to my being a better driver.

A. If something unexpected happens at an intersection, it might be me getting my priorities mixed up, or someone else behavinf oddly, if that happens, when I get home, I go on Google Streetview and look up the intersection and look at signs, makring and the general look of the place from as many directions as possible, I try to figure out why I drove the way I drove, and why other did it their way. This has helped me hugely.

B. I try turn around (at a suitable place) and drive the road properly after something either happened, or nearly happened. I do this so that the last time I drove a road went well, so an old mistake doesn’t haunt me making me lore worried.

You need seat time. You’ll get better the more you do it, until driving is instinctual. Avoiding doing it is how you don’t learn.

I learned to drive using a manual transmission vehicle. I spent a lot of time in empty parking lots, then in empty subdivision roads. It sucked, and having my dad as a teacher made things worse (he had a bit of a temper). As you stated, learning the clutch friction point for your vehicle is crucial (and it’s different in every model of car, so that’s fun), but once you get that down, the rest falls into place pretty easily.
I have had 4 vehicles since I got my license, and only the most recent one is automatic. I much prefer driving manual, but they’re getting increasingly difficult to find outside of sports cars.

When I first started driving I was terrified all the time, but over time fear disappeared. It gets easier with experience.

I’ve been driving for well over a decade, nearing two. I hate every minute of it. Honestly, I hate other drivers more than driving itself. Trust no one, assume everyone is out to kill you because half of them are.

You get used to driving, and automatic is probably easier to learn with but afterwards it’s not an issue.

Try driving an 18-speed truck transmission without the clutch.

Who’s stupid?

I hated learning how to drive, and only really started to tolerate it once I got a new driving teacher. I actually like driving now, mostly because it’s one of the few times where I can turn my brain off while not being unfocused.

With that said…I have no idea why Americans (not assuming OP is American, but know it’s rare over there) have such an issue with manual cars. My family has both manual and automatic, and I prefer manual because it’s much easier to have control. It has never, ever been a distraction for me.

Manual transmissions are operated almost entirely by “feel”. Once that sinks in, it’s a lot easier.

If you can, go find a quiet street, parking lot, or any place with an incline. Practice stopping in the middle of the incline and taking off without stalling. Don’t stress out when you inevitably stall. You will and that’s ok. If you can master starting on a hill, you’ll find that the rest of it comes a lot easier.

With the transmision in 1st and your foot on the brake, release the clutch very slowly until the engine starts dragging just a little. Slowly take your foot off the brake. You’ll know the clutch is in the right spot if it keeps you from rolling backwards. At that point, start to accelerate and let the clutch out slowly. Continue to accelerate and up the hill you go.

Don’t hesitate to hit the brakes at any time if you feel like you’re going to roll backwards. Better to stall than to roll back into someone behind you. Depending on the gearing, you may be able to start in 2nd and that will keep you from having to worry about shifting in the middle of the hill.

Don’t panic. Learning is good. If someone gets upset with you because you’re inexperienced and stall out then screw them. They should try to remember what it was like to learn how to drive. It just takes practice, practice, and more practice.

being too soft or too rough on the clutch is a matter of millimeters is ridiculous

On this point specifically, don’t think of it as millimetres of distance. You act based on how the car responds, not trying to hit a specific distance of pedal movement. You already do the same thing with your other foot - you don’t think “I need to press the accelerator down 55 mm”, you just press it a bit more or a bit less until the car is going the speed you want it to go at. Same deal with the clutch, there just isn’t a dial on the dashboard that tells you where you currently have it.

You’re right that driving involves processing a lot of information at once that nobody is particularly familiar with absorbing when they start. It is difficult and dangerous. That’s why there are tests and licences. But in much the same way that typing was once completely alien to you and is now something you do with little active thought, you’ll get there soon enough with the clutch too. And if you learn it now, you’ll never be caught out in a situation when there isn’t an automatic option available

I do think it’s a bit crazy that people learn to drive manual cars on the road. It is a lot to manage when you have no experience. Learners should be given a few hours to just mess around on an airfield or car park so they can get a feel for the machine first of all.

IMO most driving sucks anus though, after a year or two and the novelty has worn off. Stressful, expensive, dangerous. I would rather take trains, get stuff delivered and have a day every year or so with a powerful car alone on a racetrack.

It definitely gets easier in my experience. A lot of the things that take conscious effort right now are going to become reflexes and automatisms with more experience. Right now you are building that experience, and there isn’t really a way to speed it up. You just need to do each action dozens and hundreds of times, until you do it without thinking.

Driving a manual car, for example, is definitely more complex than an automatic one. You literally need to manage one more thing. But do not worry about it, you will change gears a lot during your practice sessions and build a lot of experience quickly. In a few months you will probably not think much about gears, and in a few years you will be managing them without giving it a single thought.

Fun anecdote, I recently got a new car and it is an automatic one while I previously only drove manuals. For a few days I couldn’t figure out how to start smoothly, and I was very confused… until I realized that starting mostly involved the clutch on my previous car. The first movements of my right foot used to be to keep the rpm under control while disengaging the clutch, which is just not needed on an automatic car. I was simply applying the same muscle memory to the new car without realizing it!

It gets better as you gain experience and it becomes like a part of you. In the same way you don think about extending the arm, opening and closing the hand when picking an object, when shifting a gear is the same, you don’t perform all the steps or movements like independent tasks that need all your attention, it just becomes “shift up/down”.

In my first practice lesson I panicked with the all things to take care off, and I didn’t move more than five meters in a speed that the needle detected.

The clutch is not something that goes by precision, is about feelings, with the noise from the motor, the clutch pedal vibrations, the response from the vehicle… I is telling you what to do, in the end is feelings and muscle memory.

Take your time to practice and relax.

With enough practice, driving becomes second nature to the point that you don’t really think about it. This goes triple for manual transmission cars because you have so much control over the behaviour of the vehicle that it almost feels.like.an extension of yourself. The learning curve is a pain but the payoff is worth it.