Misery loves company.
what a shit take by the coworkers
imagine thinking somebody accurately assessing a situation and not wanting to be a shitty parent is disappointing
I’ve got a lot less respect for shitty parents and people who don’t think things through
I have more respect for that lady than I have for all the people who have kids anyway and then just neglect them.
Most people who have children don’t know how to do it right and too many are children themselves emotionally/mentally, so they model all the bad behaviors they punish the children for, it’s crazy! They punish for natural emotional responses to life events and don’t care to understand what’s going on, just blame as bad and punish. Enmeshment and other unhealthy, dysfunctional ways they think are normal and good. They do the same unhealthy ways they never questioned and stay in low-level thinking, easier, fit in with others, tradition, “we turned out good enough” they delude themselves.
It’s to convince themselves they made the “right” choice by having kids. Because deep down I’m sure there’s a part of them that wished they hadn’t. And when they see another person who actually chose to not have kids, it only reminds them of a life they didn’t get, which upsets them.
My fiancée and I just flatly say we can’t have kids and that shuts most people up.
Never mind the reason why we can’t have kids is because we don’t like them.
While we also choose a child-free existence, it wasn’t until some close friends had kids that were awesome that I realized I don’t dislike kids. I dislike shitty parents.
That said, I can go meet up with people whenever I feel like it. I also have lots more disposable income. It’s pretty great if it’s what you want anyway.
Why don’t you like kids?
Irrelevant.
Why not ? People don’t like many thing, they are allowed to not like kid aren’t they ?
Well it’s because of the notion that the very reason of being alive is to propagate more life. That’s the fundamental nature of life because without that there would be no life. So if you think that life is worth while, it would be logical that you contribute. Otherwise it would be somewhat selfish. And such a mentality of not wanting to sacrifice one’s freedom in order to be a parent and take on that responsibility comes across as immature.
I don’t think you should have kids if you don’t want to. I’m just explaining why some people find it bad and upsetting that you don’t.Are asexual people selfish? Are monks who don’t fuck selfish? Are infertile people selfish? Are people who adopt instead of having bio kids selfish? Do none of these people count as “life”? I pronounce you fully ridiculous.
I’m just explaining why some people find it bad and upsetting that you don’t.
that’s a whole fuckin paragraph to say “they’re nosy and entitled” - and it’s absolute garbage. " if you think that life is worth while, it would be logical that you contribute. Otherwise it would be somewhat selfish. " utter fucking garbage. only people adding to the population pressure of OVER 8 BILLION FUCKING HUMANS are worth it? everyone else is selfish?
STOP FOR A MOMENT AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.
8 BILLION +, AND YOU INSIST THAT MORE ARE NEEDED OTHERWISE IT WOULD BE SOMEWHAT SELFISH?
gotta be a fucking troll
Actually the world population is starting to decline. People have value. I’m not sure what the optimal world population is, but as it goes down it’s going to be painful as demographics shift.
Actually the world population is starting to decline.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_Eight_Billion
You think it’s starting to decline, the evidence is remaining to be seen.
Talk to me when we hit 7.5bn and we can start to care.
go away
Is this a comment from a virus
Yes
not having kids = selfish has got to be in the top 5 dumbest arguments i’ve ever heard, especially considering that kids today and their kids and so on are destined to grow up on a toxic hellscape wasteland planet.
“oh the kids will fix it”
LOL so not having kids = selfish, but having kids so they can fix the problems of the last couple hundred years = generous. got it
and you’re confusing “purpose of life” with biological instinct. yes, all living things from bacteria and viruses on up the evolutionary ladder are hardwired to engage in behavior that results in the passing on of their genes. “purpose” is a cognitive construct invented by philosophers who couldn’t stand being just animals. there’s no formula for it, or even quantifiable evidence that there is such a thing. so my “purpose” is to not have kids
I think it’s always seemed like the world was going to hell. It’s all relative.
I don’t care if you have kids. I don’t really care if humans go extinct. I’m happy to be alive so I’m glad my parents wanted to have kids,it’s not, that you can’t tell is a personal failing on your par
there’s billions of people in the world, there’s zero impact on whether the humanity will continue or not. being upset at someone for not procreating is silly and having kids just for the sake of propagating life as if people were scarce is ridiculous.
It’s just a logical argument such as if everyone decided not to have kids, humans would go extinct pretty quickly. Not that I really care. I’m happy to be alive so I’m glad my parents weren’t against having kids.
i get where “if everyone does that then it’d be bad” comes from but it doesn’t apply here, if you look around do you realistically see it as a necessity for everyone to have kids to save the humanity from going extinct? if one or few people says that they don’t want to procreate, will every single person in the world follow suit? in case that i live my life without having kids, what’s the worst that will happen to humanity because of my choice?
i’m also happy to be alive, but i also have reasons why i don’t want to have kids and it’s not like i’m taking life away from someone with that decision.
All good in my book. Don’t have kids if you don’t want to. I’m just explaining where the notion comes from.
Sure you not having kids won’t cause the population to collapse. But it’s a bit the same as you not throwing your garbage in the trash - one person doing that won’t make a significant difference.
I personally want to work for a world where the choice of having an offspring doesn’t ruin you financially
If they don’t know anyone who chose differently, then their choice just cannot have been a mistake
I don’t think I’ll ever have kids precisely because of how much work and responsibility they are. But if I ever have a kid, it would not be mine; this world is too fucked up to bring a new person into, I would instead adopt one of the many kids who need a parent
I heard from a social worker that adoption is kinda the easy way. Foster parenting is harder, as you get more difficult cases. In any way, children need good households to grow up in
It wasn’t a loss of respect they sensed, it was envy.
Better to not have kids if you don’t love them.
She’s right in that they are a lot of work, but they’re worth it if you want children in the first place.
It’s all about what you think the work is worth, I guess. Anything in life that you want, and you need to work for, you do the work if you want it badly enough. Pretty simple.
But they can’t choose to be born. Having children is intrinsically a non-consensual act.
That’s not really relevant to the point I’m making but, yeah, it’s not a consensual act to have offspring. Nothing that’s ever been born has chosen to be born. But countless things have been happy they were.
In the words of Stephen Colbert, “It’s a gift to exist.”
Obviously quite dependent on circumstances…
I think it’s a little crazy to bring children into the world as it stands today. I feel really guilty for having my kids, I should have foreseen this.
Even if the world was a much better place, if you don’t want kids you shouldn’t be a parent. But that’s what they want, they want bad parents so they csn act like they’re better.
I feel really guilty for having my kids, I should have foreseen this.
In a world full of dragons, raise dragon slayers.
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Don’t feel guilty. People had kids right before famines, literal world wars, local wars, etc. and funnily enough, the world has never been better (in certain aspects, like survivability of small children). You are literally what keeps humanity alive!
Not to mention that we can better the world before your children have become adults, so keep that as a goal to work towards.
Yeah we have to plan how to take put billionaires.
Let me state first that I LOVE my kids and enjoy every second with them.
That being said, if you realized you don’t like having kids after the fact then misery loves company and kids are A LOT of work and expense.
Please, if you realized you don’t like having kids after the fact, do NOT have more after the first! Why so many go on to have more than the one!
I see that among my wifes friends and i think its the genuine wish to be at a similar stage in life. To do playdates and shit together.
Misery loves company
Shared suffering is halved suffrring we say haha
