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linsenchip@piefed.zip to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 day ago

Life would be different

media.piefed.zip

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Life would be different

media.piefed.zip

linsenchip@piefed.zip to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 day ago
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  • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
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    19 hours ago

    Hmmm make it a big toe nail so it gets yellow and thick and accumulates cheese underneath so I can scrape and eat on the go.

    • Artemis_Mystique@lemmy.ml
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      19 hours ago

      c/cursedcomments

  • viral.vegabond@piefed.social
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    1 day ago

    Also, what if it wasn’t clipped short. Instead, you could grow it out a little to have a built in baseball cap

    • VibeSurgeon@piefed.social
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      23 hours ago

      Extreme convenience. How cursed our biology is to have robbed us of this functionality

      • T156@lemmy.world
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        21 hours ago

        On the other hand, we’ve also never had to deal with an ingrown headnail, so small mercies.

    • snoons@lemmy.ca
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      22 hours ago

      And you could like carve it into cool shapes or harden it into a head spike for killing rich people.

      • viral.vegabond@piefed.social
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        22 hours ago

        I like where you’re going with this.

    • ApeNo1@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      You hit the nail on the head.

      • Fmstrat@lemmy.world
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        20 hours ago

        Our largest predator would be a hammerhead shark.

    • ThePantser@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      But which way would it grow?

      • viral.vegabond@piefed.social
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        1 day ago

    • ceenote@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Remember to look down when filing it, though. Don’t want to get scalp nail in your eyes.

      • viral.vegabond@piefed.social
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        23 hours ago

        True, nobody likes it when they get scalp nail in their eyes. Lol

    • AeronMelon@lemmy.worldM
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      1 day ago

      You just sold me.

      • Slovene85@sh.itjust.works
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        24 hours ago

        Woah, are you saying viral.vegabond is a human trafficker?

    • red_tomato@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      People probably would attach ornaments to the grown head nail.

      • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        Would you use a giant nail-polish brush or use the little ones to do elaborate artwork?

        • viral.vegabond@piefed.social
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          1 day ago

          Giant, gotta get shit done. Lol

      • viral.vegabond@piefed.social
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        1 day ago

        like piercings or something, kind of?

    • TheOrcWhoWrites@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Yay. no sun in my eyes.

      • viral.vegabond@piefed.social
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        1 day ago

        Painting it would be an option too. Or sharpening it. The possibilities are endless!!

        • TheOrcWhoWrites@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Sharpening it so you can headbutt someone else in a human mating ritual lol .

          • viral.vegabond@piefed.social
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            1 day ago

            Yes, definitely something one -could- do…

  • Fizz@lemmy.nz
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    20 hours ago

    Nail salons would be booming

  • Otter@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    https://spykids.fandom.com/wiki/Thumb_Thumbs

    • brown567@sh.itjust.works
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      8 hours ago

      I came to the comments expecting literally this exact screenshot

    • Shifty@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      I’ve had nightmares about these…

  • wrinkle2409@lemmy.cafe
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    1 day ago

    Ingrown headnail

    • brown567@sh.itjust.works
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      8 hours ago

      Just decapitate me at that point

  • Entertainmeonly (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 day ago

  • Ixoid@aussie.zone
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    1 day ago

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    1 day ago

    We’d probably fight more with headbutts than with punches. Boxing would be cray. Safety equipment probably would be different.

  • [object Object]@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    Life would be different if we pooped out of our mouths like a sea cucumber.

    • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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      1 day ago

      Life would be different if we threw out babies at predators when startled, like quokka

  • 𝙈𝙞𝙖@quokk.au
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    1 day ago

    Magpies wouldn’t feel so smug that’s for sure.

  • jela@lemmy.today
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    23 hours ago

    Would hair nail thinning or balding still exist?

    What would that look like?

    • Diurnambule
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      18 hours ago

      You hâve to go to the nail dresser too. If you nailr is too long you can’t lay flat and sleep.

      • Okokimup@lemmy.world
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        19 hours ago

        Are you having a stroke?

        • Diurnambule
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          18 hours ago

          Was laughing. My bad. I trieddto correct

  • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Showers, barbers, and fights will all be different… As will clothes, probably the skin colour of our faces. Our digestive systems might be different (from consuming nail stuff during famines). Our vision may be different.

    Torture would be different. Gender, because we’d likely all paint our nails. Tool use might have different origins. We’d likely move different, and perhaps have different neck muscles and bone structure.

    Basically we probably wouldn’t recognize the new society. It would be alien to us.

    • toynbee@piefed.social
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      12 hours ago

      I’m uncomfortable with you using “will” in that first sentence.

      • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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        10 hours ago

        The crab people are cumming.

    • Carnelian@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Mortal kombat fatality animations would be different

  • folekaule@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I would say OP hit the nail on the head here. It would be different.

  • BradleyUffner@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Kryten?

  • hdsrob@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Those nail clippers are going to be huge.

    • brown567@sh.itjust.works
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      8 hours ago

      They’d probably use saws or grinders at that scale

      I almost exclusively use a coarse file for my toenails so they don’t break weird and get ingrown

    • hdsrob@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Although I guess that “hair stylists” would get replaced with nail techs. Head Nail styles would be crazy.

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