“Sup fuckers, […]”
This got a sensible chuckle out of me but I haven’t seen anyone use ‘Dear…’ in a professional setting. It should lead with the names of the main addressees and maybe a pleasantry.
‘Morning, Jim and Bob,
Did you get that thing I sent ya?’
Yeah I’ve been a corpo for over a decade and can’t recall any dear fishy emails except when dealing with overseas production in China and Vietnam.
Actually at our workplace most people use dear; because I’m somewhat socially awkward I personally start with good morning.
I tried to think of someplace this would still occur to make a snarky joke but came up blank lol
For a printed business letter, put their contact info in the top right, and address them with their title and surname, followed by a colon. For example,
Professor Thorne:
President Kennedy:
Father Milligan:
Ms Helgastottir:
Grew up in Spain, spent the past 20+ years in English speaking countries,
It still creeps me out that I have to write “Dear” on emails.
Like, we haven’t even met.
Same but with German. Just anglophone things.
And don’t get me started on “yours truly”
For a while, I opened my cover letters with “Hi.” like I’m fucking Windows 11 looking for a fresh install at their employment.
At this point, you should probably try to introduce yourself like a LLM … or just have an LLM write it for you.
The middle management types reading it love LLMs, and they’ll instantly find the writing style comfortable and familiar.
When I learned business letter writing, they didn’t. I realize things are a lot less formal now, but I still wouldn’t write “dear x” in a business setting.
Dear Wren,
I hope you’re having a lovely day.
Yours faithfully, redparadise
Dearest redparadise,
Your message finds me well. I, too, wish you good tidings.
Sincerely, Wren
Be sure to stand out when sending your resume by starting the letter with “Dearest …”
My dearest Melpert…
I had never even thought of it as a term of endearment, it was just “start a letter this way”. Now that’ll be such in my head!
a term of endearment
endearment
endearment
When I noticed it I switched to “Greetings” or “Good [time of day]”
It’s like if we casually used “esteemed” or “the most respectable” when emailing people.
Aloe love,
- me when sunburned







