Yeah, man. The thing is, almost nobody has any fucking idea what they’re doing with their life. Most people are just winging it. And as you grow and learn about yourself, often times your priorities will change. It sounds very much like you just outgrew several of your friends, and that’s 100% completely normal. It also sounds like you’re learning about the wacky, wonderful world of construction delays, and that also, sadly, is 100% completely normal.

Life’s going to shit on you from time to time. Calling it now - their estimate of May is going to be way off. There’s even a good chance that you’re still not going to be able to move in by your wedding date. I mean, obviously I hope that’s not the case, that they actually make good on their estimate, and that you can move in and get that bit of hot stress out of your life. But from experience? Make a plan B.

There are two points of advice that I can give from my own life. The main thing, as some of the other users here have said, is to hold on tightly to those people in your life that you don’t want to lose. If someone is worth your effort, make sure you’re putting the effort in. Great people will drift apart from you just as surely as meh people if you don’t make a constant effort to keep them in your orbit. It’s just part of life.

The second bit of advice? Go easy on yourself. You’re probably not going to wake up tomorrow with some burning passion or sense of purpose and direction. You might never get it. Most people don’t. A good way to find happiness is to become ok with not making some huge impact on the world, and instead just focus on the things that bring you joy. And if it takes you a long time to come around to that mindset, I at least hope that you’ll be gentle with yourself along the way.

Cancel the wedding. Just have a tiny one. This became popular over COVID but is just a great idea in general.

That does all sound pretty normal/common. No worries on making any solid plans to drop the friends you don’t feel close to, it will happen naturally over time. Just focus on the ones you want to keep, make sure you are putting energy into those relationships.

Make sure that “accelerated payments” are at least an option for your mortgage/financing. So that if you do find in the future that you can spare a bit of cash, you can always pay extra on the house. Clearing it sooner saves a pretty insane amount of money.

In that same vein, try not to carry a balance on any credit cards. Pay them off fully every month. Credit card debt is easy to accidentally carry, and it’s crazy expensive. Always do the math on what your various sources of debt are actually costing you, and pay off the worst ones most aggressively.

And after all that, the next most important thing is to make sure you are enjoying life. It’s easy to get too wrapped up in things that feel more important than having a good time. But all the important stuff has a purpose, and the purpose is to increase your comfort, it can’t do that if you don’t let it. Find a balance that feels right for you.

Also, make sure you can talk to your wife, and hopefully the rest of your family about this sort of stuff too. Gain the perspective of as many people as possible, without having to gain it first hand yourself. Life is big, we are each of us small. But together, we can add up to be pretty big too.

People change over time. Who you consider a friend changes too. You are at that point in your life where you are realizing that that is the case and it is JARRING. Because very few people are warned that this can, and usually does, happen. In my case, I have 1 close friend, a few not so close friends and a lot of people I grew up with that are now essentially strangers that I once knew. There are going to be people you consider friends that are really friends of circumstance, there are friends you were linked at the hip for years that suddenly evaporate and very very few that stick with you as life long friends. The reality is that you’re probably going to have to rebuild your social circle many times throughout your life.

You can make a small wedding. There is no law of physics forcing you not to be able to do that. Just the social consequences. BUT you have to remember that this is you and your future wife’s wedding and you only really get one wedding so it should be what you both want and it does not sound like you want what you’ve set up. As for how to do that diplomatically… I am not an expert on that so Ill point to this article TLDR: They dont need to know why. And I would keep the details of the small wedding that would come later close to your chest.

I’m sorry if I’m out of place here, but 3200 + 2400?! You’re fucking loaded dude!

Some people never grow past the “go out to get drunk” phase, some are alcoholics that drink everyday and you just don’t know, some are alcoholics that just can’t stop when they start but they don’t necessarily drink everyday. It’s normal that at some of the people will move on to other things at some point in their life and you’re one of those people, the good news is that you can focus on forming stronger bonds with fewer people and create life long relationships instead of having tens of “friends” that wouldn’t bother helping you if you were in a bad spot.

So TOTALLY normal! I think most young adults at your stage of life have felt like you feel now (I know I did).

You don’t need to make a drastic change like dropping all of your friends urgently; like another commenter said, it’ll happen naturally over time. It’s a good idea to try and not burn bridges in your life, because everyone matures eventually (though it’s natural to drift apart from people while you’re in different stages of life).

One thing I do recommend: find a mentor. This would be an older person (ideally your same gender) who is just a bit further along than you (maybe at the kid stage if life, even if you’re not planning on having kids). A mentor can help ease your anxieties and help you level set for your next phase of life.

I’ve had luck finding mentors through religion (Christianity for me), but there are also mentoring clubs in most major cities. An elderly relative can also be a mentor, but I don’t have any of those. Start by asking a potential mentor out for coffee and then ask them for some advice. You’ll know if it’s a good fit because their advice will be wise, they won’t have an agenda, and they’re happy to give the advice.

You can always change who you want to be.

It is perfectly normal to feel lost at some point in your life. There’s also nothing wrong with feeling like your friends aren’t really your friends. People change, priorities shift, and sometimes you get a new perspective on the people you know. It means you’re growing and are probably ready to move on to things that fit you better.

Try to take it day by day and look for smaller things you can appreciate. It’s not to shut out any problems, but to remind yourself that you are a complex person and that you need a wide range of things to feel satisfied and fulfilled.

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Yes it’s normal to feel lost - and you’ll go through it often. We change a lot over the course of our lives and that feeling of unsure-edness is one of the hallmarks of being alive.

Sounds like you’re making progress on important milestones so you can feel good about those things. It may take some distance to see exactly how much you’ve really accomplished and to appreciate how you did it even while feeling kind of lost or at sea.

Only thing I’d advise is, lay off the heavy drinking if you can. Being wasted isn’t a cure for the anxiety of living. And it takes more from you than it gives you, including screwing with your “feel good” chemicals over time. I wish you luck with it all!

Yes it’s normal to feel lost - and you’ll go through it often. We change a lot over the course of our lives and that feeling of unsure-edness is one of the hallmarks of being alive.

Sounds like you’re making progress on important milestones so you can feel good about those things. It may take some distance to see exactly how much you’ve really accomplished and to appreciate how you did it even while feeling kind of lost or at sea.

Only thing I’d advise is, lay off the heavy drinking if you can. Being wasted isn’t a cure for the anxiety of living. And it takes more from you than it gives you, including screwing with your “feel good” chemicals over time. I wish you luck with it all!