Good morning everyone.

Sometimes I feel lost. I am 30 years old and the friends I have are the same friends ten years ago and they all still drink excessive alcohol. I am totally fine getting wasted once a year but they still do that every time we meet up.

I am also getting married soon, while I love my soon to be wife I get this huge feeling of anxiety when it comes towards our wedding. I invited most of my above friends because I don’t have any other friends. I wasted my 20s and thinking those are my friends but in the end I notice they are just drinking buddies. I don’t want to make them sound bad they are friendly people and they work and have degrees but the only connection I have to them is the bottle.

I wish I could just make a small wedding without inviting them and just cut ropes. But I already sent out the invites a year ago and organised most of the stuff for the wedding so I am going through it with them. And again, I don’t hate them. I just probably have like two close friends out of those 15 people and thats it. The rest is alcohol.

I am also in the process of building a house. We will be paying 1300 € to the bank the next 25 years and I designed the credit with my bank that I can pay it off with my salery alone in case my wife doesn’t work. I have about 3200 € a month after taxes and my (soon) wife 2400 € a month after taxes, so it seems possible.

Now the construction company of our house is slower than expected (planned to move in february and its gonna be may) and the wedding is july.

I wish I could take a sleeping pill and wake up next year.

Edit: Thank you to all for the kind answers and it helped me think about it from a different perspective and perhaps take things easier! Thanks

  • elbucho@lemmy.worldEnglish
    36·
    10 months ago

    Yeah, man. The thing is, almost nobody has any fucking idea what they’re doing with their life. Most people are just winging it. And as you grow and learn about yourself, often times your priorities will change. It sounds very much like you just outgrew several of your friends, and that’s 100% completely normal. It also sounds like you’re learning about the wacky, wonderful world of construction delays, and that also, sadly, is 100% completely normal.

    Life’s going to shit on you from time to time. Calling it now - their estimate of May is going to be way off. There’s even a good chance that you’re still not going to be able to move in by your wedding date. I mean, obviously I hope that’s not the case, that they actually make good on their estimate, and that you can move in and get that bit of hot stress out of your life. But from experience? Make a plan B.

    There are two points of advice that I can give from my own life. The main thing, as some of the other users here have said, is to hold on tightly to those people in your life that you don’t want to lose. If someone is worth your effort, make sure you’re putting the effort in. Great people will drift apart from you just as surely as meh people if you don’t make a constant effort to keep them in your orbit. It’s just part of life.

    The second bit of advice? Go easy on yourself. You’re probably not going to wake up tomorrow with some burning passion or sense of purpose and direction. You might never get it. Most people don’t. A good way to find happiness is to become ok with not making some huge impact on the world, and instead just focus on the things that bring you joy. And if it takes you a long time to come around to that mindset, I at least hope that you’ll be gentle with yourself along the way.