Ahh yes. The missing element that has been holding back the Russian military efforts: a fat old man who pretends to be tough on camera.
I mean since Prigo’s gone they have a lack of that.
Seagal also played a cook once, the analogy checks out
Easy - Success: President Putin, I am ready. Send me to the frontline.
Legendary - Failure: Wait, what?
“Mr. Putin is helping me find my relevance.”
The Expendibles
:kelly:
Russia’s finally unleashing their secret weapon. Ukraine is doomed.
My favorite Steven Seagal story is that he’d tell people that when he was living in Japan he had to DEFEND his father-in-law’s dojo from YAKUZA GANGSTERS. His ex wife responded to that by saying it was total bullshit and all he did was yell at some drunk dudes who might not even been Yakuza. Pathological liar. Move over failsons. We’ve got failsons-in-law now.
Maybe he wasn’t lying, he’s just delusional and actually thought he was defending the dojo from yakuza members
My “favorite” Steven Seagal story is that time he drove a tank through somebody’s house and killed their dog while LARPing as a cop
Judo flip! Judo roll! Judo chop!
well im sorry to hear that, because im gonna snatch every ukrainian birthday
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Under Seige 3: Pokrovsk.
The main scene I remember from under siege is the woman jumping out of the cake.
Steven Segal single handedly conquers all of Europe with his love taps
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PSA: it’s pronounced sea-gull, like the bird that steals your French fries on the beach. He didn’t like it so he started pronouncing it different.
Too bad, Gene LeBell is already gone, or he could just choke out Seagal again.
Movie idea: A rag tag trio, consisting of Segal, Kadyrov, and the Ghost of Prigo are sent to the frontline in Ukraine. Through a comical prank by Putin, all three are assigned equal positions in a brigade of three. The film follows these three soldiers as they navigate a new world and fall into a slapstick routine none of them were aware of creating. Upon being seen by a local villager, they realized that their banter would work well as a podcast. How will these soldiers balance their duty to their country, their narcissism, and the technical difficulties of recording high quality audio in the field?
Im surprised we haven’t gotten a dramedy about war reporters doing podcasting from the field.
"OK everyone, this episode is sponsored by HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THAT!?!?
…well, uhh…
…THAT just happened."
Cue laugh track, everybody claps.
