hahahahaha get fucked Eli Roth

  • oscardejarjayes [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    Dead on arrival. It’s not unexpected, it didn’t seem like any Borderlands fans were hyped about the movie (and it’s not like it has a massive fan-base, as compared to other games), and the casting choices don’t really seem to fit the characters.

    Considering all that, I’m a little surprised they spent so much on it, and released it, seems like they should’ve just aborted early.

  • BeamBrain [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    Eli Roth

    Ah, yes, the director of the movie Green Inferno, where

    CW: Racism

    a bunch of indigenous rights activists go to South America and get eaten by a cannibal tribe, haha DAE SJWs stupid and wouldn’t it be funny if they got killed by the ones they try to defend, it sure would serve them right for not knowing that only white people are civilized

    • TechnoUnionTypeBeat [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      Oh jesus reading the plot synopsis was a horrible idea

      Just some of the most racist shit mixed with some of the most absurd shit. Like the activist group going to protest the oil company or whatever in the jungle is funded by a drug dealer because y’know why not dial the racism to 11

      • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        4 months ago

        CW: SA

        At one point where the activists are in cages, one of them randomly decides to start jerking off in front of everyone for reasons. That character is played by Eli Roth himself. Whole thing was self-indulgent.

        Cannibal Holocaust was a shitshow of a production (Yes, the lead actress threw up on set because of that one scene. Yes, they decided to include footage of that in the film. No, that wasn’t anywhere near the most fucked up thing about that movie) , but at least it had a decent message.

    • roux [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      Green Inferno? You mean Cannibal Ferox 2: the Cannibal Holocaustening?

      I unironically thought that Thanksgiving was ok even though it was just My Bloody Valentine with cell phones.

      • Diuretic_Materialism [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        4 months ago

        I honestly don’t get the point of that movie. It seemed like Roth was just a fan of gory 70s horror movies and wanted to make an homage, but then he made the protagonists pro-indigenous right activists? But when people said that was weird and asked him wtf his point was he just dismissed the idea that there was anything political about the film… but you made the narrative choice to have the teens being killed be activists?

        FYI in the OG Cannibal Holocaust the westerns who get slaughter actually provoke the tribe into it to make a exploitative documentary film, yeah they’re still portrayed as brutal and savage but also you get the impression they were only really savage to each other until these assholes showed up. Still a fucked up movie but at least it was being made under the pretext of just being a mindless exploitative horror movie.

        • roux [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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          4 months ago

          For sure CH’s message was that the westerners were the monsters. I was just trying to be cheeky that GI was very much just another cannibal movie. Similar to how Thanksgiving was just an 80s slasher. Roth basically just makes old movies and people keep giving him money to do it.

          • Diuretic_Materialism [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            4 months ago

            It just seems so weird to me, like the oil company is legit intruding on the tribe’s land and killing them, so is the message “even if they have a fucked up culture that doesn’t justify colonialism”? But I don’t buy Roth was trying to send such a nuanced message with his gory cannibal horror movie. If you wanna make a gory 70s horror movie maybe just, idk, switch the tribe with like some inbred hillbilly family, that’d still be problematic in it’s own right but at least would have some many weird implications.

            • BeamBrain [he/him]@hexbear.net
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              4 months ago

              the oil company is legit intruding on the tribe’s land and killing them

              The message is this is a good thing or at the very least not worth opposing

              • Diuretic_Materialism [he/him]@hexbear.net
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                4 months ago

                I haven’t actually seen the film just read a plot synopsis, the fact the main character lies in the end to protect the tribe seems to me to suggest Roth was still trying to condemn what the oil company was doing? Idk I have zero interest in actually watching this movie so I suppose I’ll never know for sure.

  • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    Eli Roth

    Between him and Zach Snyder, I don’t know who’s worse. No idea how either of them get funding to make movies. At least Snyder I hear is great to work with because he buys all the catering?

    • AmericaDeserved711 [any]@hexbear.netOP
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      4 months ago

      I’d say Roth is definitely worse because he hasn’t made a single movie worth watching. Snyder hasn’t done anything good in a long while but there’s some fun to be had with 300, Sucker Punch, and Watchmen despite some pretty major flaws.

    • BestBouclettes
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      4 months ago

      It could work, but the cast was terrible and the plot seems completely disconnected from the games. It was also not R rated, which is completely dumb for a game where vaporising mobs to a red mist, dick jokes, torture, etc are an entire part of the games.

  • roux [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    As soon as I saw the cast, I figured it was gonna crash and burn. I hate seeing this happen to one of my favorite franchises but holy fucking shit, they couldn’t have done anything to save this. Jamie Lee Curtis as Tannis? Were they like “she’s skinny with short hair. Perfect!” and that was it? Could they have picked someone actually funny to play Claptrap? I honestly think the least offensive choice out of the bunch was Kevin Hart. But like also why did they go with Eli Roth. Were they like we’ll forgive you for Hostel and Green Inferno if you make this masterclass in cinema happen?

    Also having Krieg just be in there feels so random. They could have written in Gaige, Mordecai, or even Axton. Kreig without Maya backstory just seems like a cheap gimmick.

    I’m still gonna fucking watch this slop too…

    E: lol kill me

    • DengistDonnieDarko [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      the Tannis pick is almost as bad as the Roland pick. and the Lilith pick. and the Claptrap pick. and I haven’t heard any of Tina’s lines but I’m sure they’re dog shit as well. god… so much wasted potential.

      • roux [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        4 months ago

        The camrip I grabbed was in Spanish but I still skimmed it and there was no Tina energy at all. I think her role would be hard to fill anyway but Greenblatt definitely wasn’t a good pick. Loved her in the Barbie movie but she’s more of a Aubrey Plaza/Jenna Ortega sort of actress maybe? I guess “bratty” but not Tina at all.

    • BestBouclettes
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      4 months ago

      Jamie Lee Curtis as Tannis is probably the best casting choice in the movie. I’m pretty sure she could completely nail the unhinged weirdo role, the only problem is her age I guess. Tannis is 35 at most I believe?

      • roux [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        4 months ago

        Yeah both Tannis and Lilith are in their 30s. I might end up watching the release version and get a final opinion. I might be a bit harsh on JLC but I really only know her from her 80s slasher era and I guess Freaky Friday. So like lower budget Halloween and Prom Night. If she can pull off the crazy genius Tannis bit then that’s something I suppose. Still won’t save the movie.

        • BestBouclettes
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          4 months ago

          She’s also in Everything Everywhere all at Once and in Knives Out, she’s great in both!

      • D61 [any]@hexbear.net
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        4 months ago

        I immediately thought of Janeane Garofalo as Tannis. She’s got some serious, “I’ve been through some shit and its deeply affected me”, vibes going since Trump got elected.

    • Inui [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      It was doomed when the trailer hit. People who don’t know what Borderlands is won’t care and people who do weren’t gonna see it just based on the cast list.

      • Evilsandwichman [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        4 months ago

        I genuinely felt it hard to see the cast list and be impressed, but I thought maybe if the movie was good I’d see it, but the trailers (which are supposed to show the best parts) were just showing nonstop action and made me feel like there’s no difference between this movie and just any generic action movie. I was tempted to watch it despite the casting, but the trailer and the action clips on youtube just put me off completely. I usually don’t trust reviews (I watch horror movies; a lot of the stuff I like has terrible ratings) but I’m gonna trust them on this one.

  • HelluvaBottomCarter [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    Miscast and you really need a Luc Besson, James Gunn, Matthew Vaughn, or maybe an Edgar Wright to direct. Borderlands isn’t popular enough for any of them to take on the project. Gunn already did his ensemble sci-fi space adventure movies. Valerian came close in some areas to the tone of Borderlands.

    Someone just needs to take the franchise away from Randy.

    • Egon [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      A Luc Besson Borderlands would have been peak cinema. Get Vin Diesel in to play Brick (is he allowed to do that? I don’t remember wether or not Vin and/or Brick are POC)
      Have that sleazy uncle Roman type busdriver dude be the lead or antagonist and go nuts

  • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    But Hollywood has invested 1312 million dollars into video game and TTG IP movie adaptations! They were supposed to print money! porky-scared-flipped

    The money line will go down and it will go down bigly! Trump needs to get in office so he can sue consumers for abstaining from movies.

  • Alaskaball [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    It was great watching this slow moving trainwreck arrive absolutely thrashed and trashed at the train station from the very first moment its existence was announced to the public