CommunistBear [he/him]

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Joined 4 years ago
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Cake day: March 15th, 2021

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  • Turns out getting back on the wagon when your heart isn’t in it is harder than I thought. I bought a fifth of rum and drank it in 2 days. Life is just kind of miserable and this little bit of escapism helps in a way I need it to. I need to make a whole bunch of changes before not drinking becomes a serious option for the long term and I fear those changes are harder than I can manage. Seeing the absolute depravity of the world and being completely helpless to do anything productive about it sure as fuck doesn’t help either. Shit is hard and I just wish I had a reasonable path towards a better future








  • Today is day one of not drinking again. I drank something like 3 liters in a week or so and my insides started hurting. I drank so much that in the maybe week and a half that I was drinking again I put on 9-10 lbs. I really need to figure out why I drink so hard when I do drink because if it’s not alcohol it’s something else. Or, as my 6 months of sobriety showed, eventually the same reason I drank to begin with reared it’s ugly head again and I’m into another bender.

    The only thing I’ve managed to be consistent with is not missing a day riding my motorcycle. Through rain and shine, hot and now cold I keep riding. There’s something weirdly appealing about riding in shitty conditions. And now that it’s getting cold out, I’ve been getting a lot of cold rides in.