Like from what I understand you’re not allowed to touch the workers because then it becomes prostitution. So like. A bunch of boys just get together and sit down to watch some girls dancing naked? And they just kinda grin at each other and say “hey isn’t it awesome when there’s boobs?”

You can’t jerk off so they just go to get boners with their buddies? You can do that at home. You can just watch porn with the fellas or have a circlejerk.

I’ve never understood why it’s seen as a straight masculine thing to go to a place where the only thing you can do is get horny with other men.

      • macerated_baby_presidents [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        6 months ago

        It’s so effective that a recent pew research discovered 68% of men under 30 are single and not interested in dating. We have finally figured out how to make men celibate, just get sexy girls to be nice to them.

        sorry are you saying that onlyfans is responsible for the state of American dating? That’s not true at all. Nobody’s dating because dating sucks now that we’ve eradicated all the third spaces and replaced them with app-based meat markets. They’re not abstaining in order to indulge in more thoroughly-commoditized horrors, that’s the thing that’s driving them away from dating in the first place.

        • EmoThugInMyPhase [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          6 months ago

          It’s incredible how many people complain about OF. Like yes, there are things to complain about them, but more often than not it’s never from a materialist standpoint. It’s literally just “ALL THESE HIGH SCHOOLERS ARE BECOMING MILLIONAIRES FROM FEET PICS AND NOT WANTING TO DATE MEN OR GO TO COLLEGE.” It’s a mixture of misogyny and a belief in “meritocracy” - that somehow all these models are bajillionaires being fed grapes by simps because they’re all hot and popular

          Cam girls have existed forever but for some reason they never got the same cultural impact that only fans has. I remember being young and stumbling upon those cam sites. I scrolled all the way to the bottom and saw dozens of girls (and sometimes guys popped up) with like 0-3 views. Many were quite attractive, others were not - same with the girls who were top models featured on the site.

        • dannoffs [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          6 months ago

          I didn’t realize how low the bar was until I was on a date and she showed me what most of the messages she gets on dating apps are like.

            • dannoffs [he/him]@hexbear.net
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              6 months ago

              The person in my story is Filipino and the blatant mix of sexism and racism in her inbox was fucking nuts. I literally got a date by being the only person who wasn’t horny or racist in the first few messages.

              • EmoThugInMyPhase [he/him]@hexbear.net
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                6 months ago

                I’m curious what these people’s tactics are. Like I’m sure many are genuinely deliberately hateful and want their intention is to cause harm. But then there are people who are genuinely not house trained and think saying something about a woman’s tits or how their brown skin makes them hard is acceptable, with their full face showing lol

                • dannoffs [he/him]@hexbear.net
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                  6 months ago

                  This was like 7 years ago now but the amount of people who will just straight up say they have “yellow fever” or who thought “is it true that Asian women [insert wildly racist stereotype]?” Was a good first message blew me away.

  • Awoo [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    It’s a place where awful and socially maladjusted people go because they can’t get women that attractive to be pleasant to them in any other situation.

    Maid cafes in Japan fulfill the same purpose but without alcohol. Some offer after-hours “specials” that include erotic performance. An evolution of historic Geisha service.

    Hooters fulfills the same purpose again.

    It’s the same motivation in every version, there’s just a different presentation in style and act. They want feminine attention and they are willing to part with money to get it, typically they have fucked up views of women because of the lack of feminine attention or because of the fact they’re awful human beings. Power, patriarchy, misogyny, all wrapped up into one.

  • Dolores [love/loves]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    i think if you view it wholly as eroticism & trying to bust it seems disappointing, but it’s really just a bar where you get to see live performance. so all the appeals of a bar PLUS watching contortionists & dancers do their thing.

  • BakedBeanEnjoyer [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    None of you people have actually been to strip clubs and it shows.

    A private dance is a lot more intimate than the name implies. If you tip nicely, you can basically get dry-humped to completion if you’re into that. Or you use the opportunity to talk business since some strippers also moon light as sex-workers.

    Of course I don’t frequent these establishments because I’m not a creep but I do understand how they work. It’s like going into a mob front restaurant and asking how they stay in business if the spaghetti tastes horrible. That’s not what they’re selling dear hexbear.

    • Thordros [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      Or you use the opportunity to talk business since some strippers also moon light as sex-workers.

      Yep. It’s a safe® space to negotiate offsite sex work. The club aggressively filters out the the most obvious perverts who get handsy at the mere sight of a boobie. Not to say you can’t make good money just dancing, of course—there’s plenty of white boy incels who are too scared to break the law, and throw away a fortune trying to make a dancer their girlfriend because she was nice to them. But the girls who made bank were always doing side work.

      It’s like going into a mob front restaurant and asking how they stay in business if the spaghetti tastes horrible.

      That’s why you get the lasagna, or go to the mob front pizza places. They load up that pie with absurd amounts of cheese because they have no concept of what is and isn’t profitable. A pound of cheese can make any mid recipe quite palatable!

    • AlicePraxis [any]@hexbear.net
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      6 months ago

      dry-humped to completion

      I don’t think cumming in your pants is generally what guys are hoping to get from a lap dance? like I’m sure it happens but I don’t think it’s the desired outcome for anyone involved lmao

      • BakedBeanEnjoyer [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        6 months ago

        Look, no one wants to go to a strip club.

        Going to the strip club to dry hump is the sex-worker equivalent of buying shitty ditch weed from a white guy because you’re too scared to leave suburbia. It’s a shitty, low-risk, compromise from people who don’t want to get into trouble.

        • JohnBrownNote [comrade/them, des/pair]@hexbear.net
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          6 months ago

          i would simply go to a place where it’s legal if i didn’t think it would be a waste of both our time because i can’t afford enough time to get comfortable with a new person had no reservations about the ethics of putting the john in john brown note.

    • Moss [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      6 months ago

      It’s like going into a mob front restaurant and asking how they stay in business if the spaghetti tastes horrible.

      Every restaurant that is obviously front has the best and cheapest food in my experience. I assume they just have a cousin who doesn’t want to get involved with the dirty stuff but has a passion for cooking so they stick them in the kitchen and say “do whatever you want”

  • Feinsteins_Ghost [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    im not saying this to be demeaning towards anyone who works in a strip joint, nor am i commenting on the reasons one would work there.

    That said, some places are topless only. Some places are full nude. Some places, like outside of city limits where places like these are regulated, the sky is the limit. Some places are full alcohol service. Some places are dry. Some are BYO. I work in a smallish city, lots of my service calls are on a particular stretch of interstate between my smallish city and the next smaller city. There is a place I pass pretty regularly along the road there that has been there since i was 10 (im 45 now for reference) that is full nude. and they provide setups for your alcohol. They refer to the women who work there as ‘models’. There is no pricing of sorts. Everything is arranged between the customer and the ‘model’. The model takes you back to their private booth/stall/whateverthefuck and what you two agree to, and the price you agree to is between you, the model, and the four walls. Because it is in the sticks out in the county, it is not regulated by any city entity.

    There are some places where sex workers strip at, and will pursue ‘side work’ if the customer meets whatver standards the sex worker has.

    There are also some places where if you look at the women improperly, youll be bounced on the spot with a lump on the side of your head for your troubles.

    I guess it all depends on business/business location/owner/workers.

    • EmoThugInMyPhase [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      6 months ago

      I believe sex workers have a similar business model in Japan. You’re not paying for a prostitute - rather a hot woman conveniently shows up and thinks you’re cute and want to date you. So you buy her gifts, drinks from her employers, and just when you’ve spent enough money, then the date may proceed to what the lady and you agree to.

      You never paid for sex. You simply went on an expensive date with a hot model.

  • Strayce@lemmy.sdf.org
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    6 months ago

    Having never been myself, I’m speculating a bit, but I’ve talked about it with coworkers who go in the past and I suspect it’s more of a power fantasy. It’s a place where attractive women who wouldn’t normally give them the time of day will fawn over them because they have money.

      • EmoThugInMyPhase [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        6 months ago

        I’ve read from some strippers who claim most of their clients pay them for a private dance then request to just talk lol. In the richest country, the only affordable medicine is alcohol, McDonald’s, guns, and strippers

        • dumpster_dove [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          6 months ago

          America hasn’t invented host/hostess bars yet? Japan is way ahead of them in that aspect of weird capitalist nonsolutions to loneliness, it appears.

  • EmoThugInMyPhase [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    They exist for the same reason hooters exist. You do an already established activity (hooters: eat fast food, strip club: drinking alone), but then you add in cute girls who pretend to like you to make you feel less alone

    Personally I’m looking forward for when they create sexualized basketball so I can have cute girls encourage me to shoot threes

  • WafflesTasteGood [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    It’s worth noting that while you can’t touch the workers, they’re allowed to make quite a lot of contact with you. This leads to guys throwing money at pretty ladies in hopes of some mild foreplay.

  • rootsbreadandmakka [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    Strip clubs have been around for a long, long time. I assume in a time before the internet and being able to see naked women on demand, going to a strip club was a more novel activity.

    It’s also a social activity. Why do people like going to the bar? I’ve always thought going to the bar was stupid, but plenty of people have fun doing that. A strip club is sorta like a bar with near-naked women dancing. I’ve met women who like going to the strip club, either with other women or with their guy friends.