• Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world
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    23 hours ago

    Reminds me of an old joke that was passed around as “totally happened”

    A guy wanted to kill himself so he stood at the top of a short cliff over a river. He drank poison, poured gasoline on himself, tied a rope around his neck and the other end to a tree branch, and was going to shoot himself in the head. He lit the gasoline and As he was about to shoot, the gas on the rock caused him to slip, he inadvertently shot the branch because he slipped and his weight broke the branch so he fell into the river below where the water dowsed the fire And the impact caused him to throw up the poison. He started slamming his head against the rock to try and kill himself but it only knocked him unconscious. Someone found him and took him to the hospital…where he later died from hypothermia.

    But before he died he was asked why he was trying to kill himself. He said it’s because he’s a failure at everything he does.

  • oce 🐆
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    2 days ago

    Same but about becoming an Italian chef when the one spaghetto I finally caught with my fork to test for doneness slipped back into the pan.