I know this is a childfree community so all of you might dislike this comment, but I saw this post when looking at all posts, so here are my worthless two cents:
I think both desires (wanting kids, not wanting kids) should be considered equally valid, and both should be respected, without people trying to convince you out of your preference.
I agree, and I’ve never met anyone trying to convince me to not have a kid.
We constantly get questioned/pressured/guilted about having kids that we’ve never wanted.
It’s just like religion, nobody is putting up billboards about atheism. It’s always the people in the group foisting their beliefs onto people outside the norm.
THATS the rhing about being childfree.
The way I see it is that the majority of humans on the planet today do not have adequate access to sex education, voluntary sterilizations, birth controls and voluntary abortions…so if anything the average person is being forced to be ANTI-childfree even if they see childfree peoples as their equals or they themselves are childfree. (I will personally add that if you want to have childrrn? Meh. Have fun to each their own. If you want to be childfree? Depending on which part of the world youre in, good fucking luck lol😒)
I feel like its like being Palestinian. Dude nobody in the world is forcing ANY BODY to be Palestinian . But there are A LOT of celebrities , governments, and companies that would force a person to be ANTI-Palestinian
if anything being Palestinian or pro-Palestinian means thst youre probably gonna be silenced and/or erased eventually.
Actually there have been some pretty non confrontational billboards put up by the FFRF and American Atheists around Christmas usually, about spending time with family, being good for goodness sake and skipping church because it’s all fake news.
Good! I hope those 1% of billboards get seen in the sea of religious propaganda in this country. I would say it’s far from the norm though.
This community? Unless you don’t think people here are real people, that is.
This is a community of people who don’t have kids and like to talk about it. Nobody is putting up signs on the side of the road evangelizing it. If you don’t like it g go somewhere else.
You don’t see the cognitive dissonance in that statement?
I think both desires (wanting kids, not wanting kids) should be considered equally valid, and both should be respected, without people trying to convince you out of your preference.
100% on board. In practice, however, you’ll find that one side is a hell of a lot more pushy than the other…
Right?
When are you having kids? Thinking of having kids? We want brand kids when are you having kids?
Meanwhile no one asks parents “when are you giving up your kids?”
I also saw this while browsing all, and don’t subscribe to these kinds of communities.
However, in a world on the verge of literal destruction due to climate change, I can’t help but think it’s unethical to bring children into it.
If everyone subscribed to this logic humanity; the only known intelligent species in the universe would die off. IMO that is the worst possible outcome.
With how things are going, that’s debatable
Jokes on them I’m like that without children
“A moneyless society will never work! How do I know? A billionaire told me of course!” Type Energy 😂🤣
I have had people telling me “you’ll regret not having kids when you grow up” all through my 20s, and now that I’m in my 30s I’ve only had more and more people ask me when my spouse and I will be trying for kids because “it’s almost too late”
Since medically transitioning, a disturbing number of people have decided to butt in and tell me I should be storing sperm “for when you decide to have kids” and if I don’t, then I won’t be physically able to have them.
I’ve even had a couple of people (mostly one specific person) telling me after I inform them I had a vasectomy over a decade ago and my spouse had a tubal ligation at least 5 years ago, that vasectomies are reversible and “it doesn’t have to be your wife” (my spouse is NB but seemingly nobody except the Trans people we know seem to remember that)
I find it funny that people with kids keep telling me specifically that I will regret not having kids and giving me their opinions, yet never once have I gone out telling new partners NOT to have kids.
Also hilarious is how people with kids get defensive about their decision and go on about how people without kids make it their whole personality.
And its always fun to guess if I’ll see “well you people are creepy for making this one page I have only just found and decided it’s all you ever talk about also here’s an anecdote about how much I totally love my kids and never think like this” type comments before opening the page.
And honestly with so many fascist governments pushing us to have more kids for their meat grinders, climate change making the planet hostile for life, and everything being more expensive, it’s a wonder anyone would voluntarily have children today.
All those people also seem to forget that you can also adopt a kid if you cannot make one btw
Sadly, they do not. When you are fully infertile and tell them so, to make them stop bothering you, it comes up, “well, you can always adopt!”
Personally I have never wanted kids, but I could not adopt either, not even be a foster parent. I would never ever be considered fit to adopt kids, with my vast medical history. I imagine these types of people, would make up some other bullshit argument, even if I explained that.
It’s always old people being pushy about it. Even after I tell them I’m not traditional like that. Like I want no kids, no marriage, just a low responsibility lifestyle. Some of em wanna lecture like you need guidance. Or the most offensive is when they respond with pity, like oh you poor thing. So fuckin weird and nosy. Like I would never do the same vice versa, wtf?
Aye, let it be known that Ive been lectured by people YOUNGER than me about why I should have kids… Im only 30 😐 … Age and identity doesnt determine ignorance.
Very sorry for the fascists and A holes that keep on butting into your lives. 🥺🫂
But I have just gotts ask , where in the world did you meet your partner? Like dating to me feels like a diamond mine to me, I have not found anybody who wants me at all in my 7 years of asking people. But then on top of that dating as a childfree person is like like trying to find anti-matter diamonds in a diamond mine. But then on top of that dating as a childfree person who is accepting of NB gender expressions and sexuality is like trying to find …uh… anti-anti-matter diamonds in a mine.
Just tell them you are trying but without success thus this topic is not what you want to discuss. Easier for you. They wont ask this question anymore.
I find it telling that every reason people try to give why “you’ll regret having kids” is just selfish.
“Who will take care of YOU when you’re older?” “Don’t YOU want people to always be in YOUR life?” “YOU won’t know love until YOU have a child.” “Don’t YOU want your bloodline to survive?” “Don’t YOU want purpose in your life?”
Oh don’t forget the “you’ll die alone” guilt trip.
Lmao good, I hope it’s quiet.
Not sure I get your point. We are talking about a decision about YOU so of course it will revolve around YOU.
Imo bringing another life into this world should be as selfless as possible. Not that you want “an extra pair of hands around the house” or “you want to pass on your genes”. But more like “I have the ability to create the most precious thing in this world and I want it to have a life better than my own”. You know?
Believe it or not sometimes people make decisions for the good of other people!
I never wanted kids. I have nothing against them but it really seems like something you really need to want to do or have a good reason for doing it. “Milestone” just wasn’t doing it for me, and it didn’t help I never met anyone remotely interested in having kids with me.
Had to break up with a couple people who wanted kids, finally met someone else who doesn’t want them at all either and it’s been great
The worst part is that most people dont have reliable access to abortion, sterilizations, birth controls or good sex education so to them it may be a ‘Milestone’ that they have no other choice but to do.
Only people with kids know what it’s like to have them and not have them.
…uhhh …well…
If youre an EC educator or a babysitter for literal babeis youll DEFINITELY find out whst its like to have kids…
(Heads up, Ive found that theyre too destructive and expensive for my liking. Others may discover the same…)
edit: I would say the only part you dont get to experience is the birthing process.
Everything after thst the birth is the boring , expensive, ‘gotdamn kid wont listen to me even though Im tryna give him life advice’ part lol
It is in fact a different experience. You are DEFINITELY wrong
I would say the only part you dont get to experience is the birthing process.
Everything after thst the birth is the boring , expensive, ‘gotdamn kid wont listen to me even though Im tryna give him life advice’ part lol
Idk, I am more like a friend than parent. I don’t want to be super strict, they learn by watching anyways
Well, I know what it’s like to not have them, so I’m perfectly okay with never finding out what it’s like to have them.
Only people with kids were stupid enough to have kids
So your mom?
I know what it’s like to not have them, and I enjoy that feeling far too much to be bothered to find out what it’s like to have them.
Please don’t hate on me, I know the name of the community, I’m just trying to explain.
To me it’s the same as saying “You look like shit after you exercise”. Well, yes, but it kind of misses the point of it. I’m doing it for let’s say “a greater good”. Sure, exercising is hard and at times you want to say “fuck it” but in the end you’re more healthy, skinny and you feel better both physically and mentally. Also I don’t value my own comfort that highly - it’s kind of fun to push myself actually. Sure I could eat fast food daily but - I know myself and I’d get bored and would try to find some new challenge.
To me it’s the same with children. If you don’t have these feelings, that’s fine.
This analogy doesn’t really work for me, because I don’t really see any benefits at all to having children.
With exercise, it’s pretty obvious why you’d do it, but with kids? Honestly, I just see downsides that lead to more downsides.
Had a coworker tell me without kids I’d be lonely when I grow old. So I suppose that’s a “benefit” to some. If we completely ignore how selfish that is, and how ridiculous it is, thinking your children are going to visit you anything close to often enough to keep you from being lonely,
Exactly.
I reemember some dude I knew who said that his parents told him that ‘you should have kids because nobody visits you other than them if you dont have them’ …
Well they wrre abusive towards him and his numerous other sisters growing up so guess who never visits their parents … 🤭😏 They had ALL THESE kids …and none of them visits them regularly 🤭
Yeah idk that may be the crux of it for me, i just dont get “lonely.” Like i dont remember ever feeling like ive been alone for too long, i just like being alone!
Raising brand new human the way you want, he is your number one fan. Reliving all those emotions with him. Becoming more selfless and more empathetic. I’d say life with kid is good in its own way. It is like watching youtube of travel bloggers vs visiting those places yourself. You might like it or not
I guess if the brand new human wants to be like you. What if they don’t? It’s a big burden to put on a child, to live up to those expectations, wether or not you tell it so. Will you be disappointed in the child if it doesn’t? Will you love it the same if it doesn’t?
Edit. And I find it kinda offensive that you assume making a child would make me more selfless and empathetic.
I just don’t care about those ifs. I am pretty chill and spend quality time with kid thats it. Being disappointed is putting high expectations and thats about anything in life, it drains all your energy so fuck that.
Well my childhood was awful so that may be why i dont see any of that as good lmao
I don’t really see any benefits at all to having children.
Our parents regularly told us they had us so we could keep their house clean. When I was an adult and saw the scale of the messes my niblings left, I had to ask my parents if they had just been telling themselves a very sardonic inside joke.
They were not.
To me, there is no “greater good” to having children. From where I’m standing all you guys are doing is repeatedly dropping a rock on your feet and going “see this is so much fun, you should do it too!”
No thank you. I’m glad this brings you joy or whatever, but I do in fact value my own comfort and joy and peace of mind quite highly and so I will not be doing that.
Good for you. I hate people like you who call parenting a “dropping a rock on your feet” experience. You should stfu if you have no experience in parenting.
I don’t entirely disagree with you, but that is like saying people who are childfree don’t contribute to “the greater good”. I happily pay my taxes for other people’s children to be educated, I chat with the parents and kids in my neighborhood frequently, I support their school fundraisers, I helped hide a bicycle that the neighbor kid was getting for Christmas gift so it would be a surprise etc. Just because I do not have children, does not mean I do not contribute to the greater good. I push myself in other ways, I don’t need kids to push me out of my comfort zone. It’s ok that you do, but not everyone needs that
It gets incredibly tiring to be constantly told I’m not a real womantm because I don’t want children. Or that I’m going to regret it. Or that I’m not going to have anyone to take care of me when I’m old. It’s near constant up to a certain age for women to be harassed about having children from everyone when people should just mind their own business.
What’s really funny is that I live in a very family centered neighborhood with 30+ children in my cul de sac and not one of those parents have harassed me about having kids. They ask if it’s in the plans and when I say I don’t want them, they just say “that’s cool” and the conversation moves on. They are all super chill about it.
And all of my comments are from the perspective of a woman who would have very much kept and loved the child I miscarried, the child I never even knew I was pregnant with before I was miscarrying on a public restroom floor. But that was before pregnancy would have impacted my spinal fusion.
I would hardly call bringing a kid into the enshitified world we live in “the greater good”.
I mean honestly, can these people be more self righteous?
would hardly call bringing a kid into the enshitified world we live in “the greater good”. I mean honestly, can these people be more self righteous?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0KQYNtPl7V4&pp=ygUdbm8gd2Ugd29udCBmaXggY2xpbWF0ZSBjaGFuZ2U%3D
If that aint the doggone truth…
Yeah we’re cooked
I mean, I don’t entire disagree with you either, but someone does need to have kids because those kids will grow up to be the nurses and doctors who I will pay to care for me when I’m old. That’s why I happily pay taxes to support other people’s kids; I want them fed, educated, and happy when they are wiping my 90 year old butt 😬
Id rather die lol but for real that’s what you’re looking forward to? Being wheeled around and shitting yourself but full of enough drugs to keep your heart beating and your colon moving in some way shape or form??
I didn’t say I was looking forward to being infirm, but I’ve already almost died twice before I was 30. I prefer to keep living even if it means taking a few pills to keep my heart ticking.
Women in my family typically stay pretty mobile up through our 90s and I’m healthier than a lot of my aunts and grandmothers already. I’d rather be alive and reading my books with someone wiping my bum than die before I am ready.
I’m still waiting for the “feel good” part of exercising to kick in. Been doing it for years, managed to lose nearly 100 pounds, and still feel like shit whenever I do it and afterwards. I’m at my happiest during the days I don’t do any exercise on my days off of work. My therapist doesn’t really think much of it since I get enjoyment from other things like frequent theater trips and talking to friends. Like if I could lose weight another way without paying a fuckton for surgery I’d rather do that so I can stay away from the depressed feelings.
80% of weight loss is diet, exercise is a very inefficient way to lose weight, while you burn a few more calories, you get stronger more muscles and that makes you hungrier.
If you just jog for a half hour three times a week that’s really all the exercise you need to be healthy. The weight control comes from diet.
Did…did I not say I lost a ton of weight? Like yes I know this. I said I don’t get the joy from the exercise part of losing weight others get since exercise was the example used. Dieting wasn’t brought up at all so I didn’t feel a need to mention it.
Id highly recommend intense cardio if your havent tried it before. For like an hour or almost an hour
I find that I too feel ‘not good’ after exercising (I dont feel like shit just not good) but specifically when I do weightlifting or calisthenic exercises…
Intense cardio on the other hamd makes my ‘self-deletion thoughts’ disappear for a few days.
If you have tried it before and it didnt help? …Aww 🫂🥺🫂
I’m doing it for let’s say “a greater good”
If i didnt think that was batshit insane delusion i might consider having kids lmao
If you don’t have kids, you will know the pain it is to do not have them.
If you have kids, you will know the pain it is to have them.
Choose your path 😬
I choose redneck fun uncle who will help the kids bury a body.
you will know the pain it is to do not have them.
What the hell are you on about?
well, you have kids or you don’t… in both cases you may at some point doubt your choice (most humans do, for most of their choices). Also, in some case, kids are not really a choice, I know… some want some and can’t, some weren’t willing some (or not that early) but have them…
In all cases you may “feel some pain” of your situation, at some point. I just wish to point out that happily, you are not in the other situation, which has its pain too.
in both cases you may at some point doubt your choice (most humans do, for most of their choices).
This is not one of those choices. There are no doubts and never will be. Life’s way too much fun to torpedo by doing something as self-serving as having a kid.
It is great for you to have no doubts, it spares you some useless pain.
People have different ideas about what makes a fun time. Some people like to spend time with their families and kids. 😊
… Good for them? I’m not sure what that has to do with our enjoyment of a life without the hassle of kids
Well, you consider it a hassle. 👍 That’s exactly my point, to each their own. Kids aren’t inherently bad because work = tired = bad. 🙂 That equation is highly subjective. So your point about “this isn’t one of those choices” I think is flawed. That’s what I’m saying. It can definitely be one of those choices for someone.
Was it not clear that in this conversation about my choices, this is not one of the choices that I made that I could possibly have regrets about?
He means what you are whining about. Not having a spine to tell people who ask you about kids to never raise this topic.
I raised so many other people’s kids. I’ve done my part in spades, and with bells on.
Some points of view from person with kid. My good friend who is child free said will have AI robot in case of need in old age. I think it’s fantastic solution. Even now, senior houses are full of old people who don’t see their kids for months if not years. Second, if I knew before having kid all about NWO , digital world AI ECT, I would probably would have thought seriously not to bring another sentiant being on this suffering land. The thing is I always wanted kids as I can remember,but the situation in world makes me seriously regret that my child will have to live in it… because I love my child so much,I don’t want my kid to be here… But as it already happened, I can say,that the saying about true love is correct. Sometimes shifts in brain and heart when kid arrives. And no babysitting, raising other kids can be compared.
I support very much child free movement, because there is no reason for wonderful beings to experience all this madness what it’s happening right now in world.Idk i guess i dont want anyone to take care of me when im too old to take care of myself. And yes i yearn for the days i can chill in senior housing and nobody bothers me lol
No one knows how to raise kids and what to teach them.
The world is a better place with fewer people. People just start stupid wars and hate each other more than they like each other.
misanthropy is a valid reason to be childfree , just know that Im with you on that point.🫱🏿🫲🏼
How do you think, how come humanity is in stage where people are bot thought to raise kids ? And are you sure that even with 10% of popularity that wouldn’t be wars?
I have a kid and it’s great for me.
I respect people who don’t have them or want them. The reason why people feel compassionate about having kids is that (for them) it is the GREATEST FUCKING THING ever.
So when nerds are excited about something they won’t shut up? We’ll instead of a gameshow, programming paradigm, current research, global event it is kids.
It’s like sushi, great that there is infrastructure for those who want, great that you are enjoying it. It is not for me and that is fine.
Have your sushi.
So when nerds are excited about something they won’t shut up? We’ll instead of a gameshow, programming paradigm, current research, global event
I’m a consummate nerd. We have a turn of phrase for the kind of person you’re describing who constantly talks at people who don’t share their interests, and cannot take a hint: we call them “insufferable assholes”*
^*unless they’re neurodivergent and/or the thing they’re talking about is actually critically important^
Thankfully natural selection is a thing and this movement will die out.
Very normal thing to say about people who simply don’t feel the need to procreate
simply don’t feel the need to procreate
This in itself is very normal.
It is. As is being part of the LGBTQ+ community, which also isn’t about to die out any time soon despite being the exact antithesis of natural selection.
Exactly. Being 2SLGBTQIA+ and being childfree may also be about environmental psychology or community psychology rather than about genetics.
I remember reading this one study that found that for every older brother a man has hus chances of ending up gay were increased by 33% for each. How does you having more brothers change YOUR genetics? Does a person with a uterus having more male babies change her genetics so that ‘TheGay Genes’(we have not been able to identify definiteively which genes can lead to ‘gayness’) becomes expressed more inside her and her offspring? This connection may have nothing to do with genetics. Maybe its just a psychological aspect that a male with more brothers starts to look up towards and seek protection from males more often than they look up to and are protected by non-males, so maybe psychologically speaking they are more likely to seek out a male partner when they grow up. 🤷🏿♂️
SO being gay or 2SLGBTQIA+ cant really ‘die out’ because it may not be completely genetically linked it may also be about the community psychology that a person grows up with.
I cant say for certain since I dont have any certification in genomics or psychology so take all of the preceding with a grain of salt
I will say that I am childfree from a psychological aspect and not at all from a biological or genetic aspect. I have a breeding kink but Ive come to realize that the modern world and the modrrn economy is not one which makes me want to raise ANY children. If the capitalistic economy and genocidal socieites that we have today didnt exist I would definitely have children …but over the years my desire to breed has been battered and battered by the awful things Ive seen people do to each other, the awful things that have happened to me, and the awful things I hear about people doing to each other on the news…
There’s numerous people out there just like me who would want to have children but realize that they dont want their children to be blown up by some crazy politicians’ needless war or that raising children is too expensive for them right now. … And so I got snipped and some of those people will also be getting snipped!
Less normal: building a community centered on it.
Even less normal: entering said community to tell people who are minding their own business how not-normal it is to want to find community in a world that places undue emphasis on having kids.
Yeah a community of like minded people is sooo weird.
I can smell the misery from continents away lmao
As a child free married person, you might need to describe the misery you are referring to.
Misery loves company, so my money is on projection.
My adult life has been like living on a college campus. It’s great. I try to steer clear of insularity.
