The thing is, that people like that don’t really care. They want to trigger and upset people and the more attraction they get, the happier they are. And sometimes they aren’t even people either, but bots that are created to make people upset. It’s a fruitless effort to engage with them. It’s better to just block and ignore.
I’m not doing it for them. I’m doing it to show others that it isn’t tolerated here.
It’s easy enough to leave a reply before blocking.
Lemmy is full of these sexist, asshole takes. It nearly repelled me completely when I first joined. So now I make it more obvious that women are not just made fun of here.
If everyone ignores it, then the message that is sent is that it’s normalized and accepted.
I mean, if we block and ignore people like that quietly, it also sends a signal to them that it isn’t tolerated. But to give every silly comment with fanfare, only open the group up to more negative attention.
Now it’s fun to annoy the group and it will attract more of those types of commenters.
It can never be 100% avoided that assholes come in and leave bad comments, but I think it’s a shame that this group more often than not becomes about anger at trolls than it is about the female experience. Which, in my personal experience, is far more nuanced and interesting than just getting upset at disrespectful men all the time.
I understand where you’re coming from, I just dont think it’s a fruitful way of handling comments like that.
I think it’s a little telling that you’re pushing me to be quiet in the face of these types of comments and not pushing for the men to follow the rules here.
This site in particular has allowed rampant misogyny and sexism to prevail. It’s not dissimilar to 4chan. If comments that objectify and make fun of raping women go unchallenged, it signals it is accepted.
We just have different approaches.
Which, in my personal experience, is far more nuanced and interesting than just getting upset at disrespectful men all the time.
There are quite a lot of discussions that happen here that are nuanced and interesting. One comment thread asking “What the fuck?” at a sexist comment can be ignored.
I’m not pushing you,we are just having a disagreement on how to handle situations like this. I’m explaining my way of thinking, you’re explaining yours. We don’t have to agree. I just find it to be an interesting discussion to have when it comes to how we want to engage with others via this group.
It’s not that deep to me, honestly.
I also don’t have that impression of Lemmy at all. I find to be full of political crazies for sure, but I haven’t really come across that much misogyny on here. Doesn’t mean your experience isn’t real, I may have just been lucky to dodge the worst of them? 🤷♀️
I guess my experience in this group that most discussions are about how men don’t respect women and not much else. There is definitely a place for discussions like that, but I also think it breeds a negative atmosphere where the bond we share becomes about mostly the negative.
I have considered making a few threads in this group to see if it could have some interest in terms of discussion, but have been a bit busy recently, so haven’t really gotten around to it yet, which is honestly my bad 😅
I guess my experience in this group that most discussions are about how men don’t respect women and not much else.
I think maybe you want to take another look at the posts from the last week or so. The majority of them do not contain those discussions.
Just wanted to add an edit here to say that I’m appreciating the back and forth with you! I can come off blunt in text so thought I’d take a sec here to say I see where you’re coming from as well :)
This one has over 30 comments without any men chiming in.
This one has some good discussions on misogyny in teens that isn’t brigaded.
This one is at 45 comments talking about luxuries we wouldn’t give up and also not brigaded.
They’re pretty active in my opinion. These are all from this past week. Other posts may balloon up with comments if there is brigading, but we really do maintain a pretty steady population of women who engage in conversations here aside from that.
There are several low-effort trolls now and leaving comments like “she’s hot” on a post about rape in this group can be incredibly insensitive.
These people need a little more public shame in their life for saying such things publicly.
The thing is, that people like that don’t really care. They want to trigger and upset people and the more attraction they get, the happier they are. And sometimes they aren’t even people either, but bots that are created to make people upset. It’s a fruitless effort to engage with them. It’s better to just block and ignore.
I’m not doing it for them. I’m doing it to show others that it isn’t tolerated here.
It’s easy enough to leave a reply before blocking.
Lemmy is full of these sexist, asshole takes. It nearly repelled me completely when I first joined. So now I make it more obvious that women are not just made fun of here.
If everyone ignores it, then the message that is sent is that it’s normalized and accepted.
I mean, if we block and ignore people like that quietly, it also sends a signal to them that it isn’t tolerated. But to give every silly comment with fanfare, only open the group up to more negative attention.
Now it’s fun to annoy the group and it will attract more of those types of commenters.
It can never be 100% avoided that assholes come in and leave bad comments, but I think it’s a shame that this group more often than not becomes about anger at trolls than it is about the female experience. Which, in my personal experience, is far more nuanced and interesting than just getting upset at disrespectful men all the time.
I understand where you’re coming from, I just dont think it’s a fruitful way of handling comments like that.
I think it’s a little telling that you’re pushing me to be quiet in the face of these types of comments and not pushing for the men to follow the rules here.
This site in particular has allowed rampant misogyny and sexism to prevail. It’s not dissimilar to 4chan. If comments that objectify and make fun of raping women go unchallenged, it signals it is accepted.
We just have different approaches.
There are quite a lot of discussions that happen here that are nuanced and interesting. One comment thread asking “What the fuck?” at a sexist comment can be ignored.
I’m not pushing you,we are just having a disagreement on how to handle situations like this. I’m explaining my way of thinking, you’re explaining yours. We don’t have to agree. I just find it to be an interesting discussion to have when it comes to how we want to engage with others via this group.
It’s not that deep to me, honestly.
I also don’t have that impression of Lemmy at all. I find to be full of political crazies for sure, but I haven’t really come across that much misogyny on here. Doesn’t mean your experience isn’t real, I may have just been lucky to dodge the worst of them? 🤷♀️
I guess my experience in this group that most discussions are about how men don’t respect women and not much else. There is definitely a place for discussions like that, but I also think it breeds a negative atmosphere where the bond we share becomes about mostly the negative.
I have considered making a few threads in this group to see if it could have some interest in terms of discussion, but have been a bit busy recently, so haven’t really gotten around to it yet, which is honestly my bad 😅
I think maybe you want to take another look at the posts from the last week or so. The majority of them do not contain those discussions.
Just wanted to add an edit here to say that I’m appreciating the back and forth with you! I can come off blunt in text so thought I’d take a sec here to say I see where you’re coming from as well :)
Maybe not, but how active are those threads compared to the ones that are about the negative relationship between men and women?
This one has over 30 comments without any men chiming in.
This one has some good discussions on misogyny in teens that isn’t brigaded.
This one is at 45 comments talking about luxuries we wouldn’t give up and also not brigaded.
They’re pretty active in my opinion. These are all from this past week. Other posts may balloon up with comments if there is brigading, but we really do maintain a pretty steady population of women who engage in conversations here aside from that.