getting a hysterectomy. this last year has proven that my foresight was indeed correct, the post right above this one is an article about the government planning to reduce or remove access to contraceptives, and no way in hell is anyone gonna make me be pregnant. i was extremely lucky to find a surgeon who would do it since i have no kids and was under thirty at the time.
It is extremely concerning how many surgeons are happy to sterilize men on request, but push back HARD when women ask. I’ve talked to several women in this exact situation, it’s like if you’re under 30 and don’t have 5 kids you must not have any idea what you want and you lose agency over your own body. One friend who wanted this had surgeons demanding a permission slip from her husband. What the fuck? Does her body belong to him? I find this situation abhorrent. Your body your choice end of story. And if you regret the consequences that’s on you, not your doctor. And SHOULD NOT BE your doctor’s job to dictate your life plans
As a man who’s been very sure he wanted to remain childfeee since his teens: most surgeons won’t sterilize men on request either. I was told several times to come back after I was married with at least three kids. Had to move to the literal opposite corner of the country to a place where Planned Parenthood isn’t under constant assault to get a vasectomy after decades of chasing one.
Wow. That’s unreal. If I may ask were you trying to do a vasectomy (which can often be reversed) or something more permanent?
A vasectomy, mostly. I did try to get into some studies for things like IVD, but that never materialized either.
I was shocked at how easy it was when I got to the NW and just…walked into a Planned Parenthood and scheduled the appointment.
Florida in the late 90s/early 00s was very “unreal”, but it’s gotten worse every time I’ve gone back to visit.
There was a quote something like no matter how bad life gets religion can always be counted on to make it worse.
my surgeon has your mindset and i trust her with my life. she also said if i decide to start T she manages transgender care as well. a few months ago i even saw her on a youtube ad advocating for womens rights and body autonomy. i just hope she doesnt leave the area, as a lot of doctors do here.
not having kids. I still think it was the right decision for me
being extremely fucking transgender
Not having kids.
Becoming atheist
“stop wasting time with that Linux thing. Nobody will ever hire you unless you specialize in Windows”
Linux has done far more for me professionally than being a Windows engineer ever got me, and it repeatedly keeps being proven.
Wish I could say the same, so far Linux knowledge seems to have done very little for me as far as employment goes. I have used it at work before but normally it isn’t something anyone else seems to care about. At least my limited knowledge of Windows hasn’t been too significant of a problem so far either.
I’ve been running some Linux servers for fun, at my last job we also had quite a few. The only admin quit, no documentation. Guess who got a big salary increase because he was the only one with the knowledge required to keep this shitshow running? Yep, that’s me.
Thanks to past me for installing every distro under the sun and sinking years into the commandline, shell scripting, web and mail servers just for the thrill. Linux is awesome.
Ymmv depending on where you are. I was happily employed in the Unix space until I moved to Seattle.
Spending so much time at the computer
That one takes time to catch up with you.
Intermittent touching grass is essential. ;)
Yeeees
Same! My parents were so worried about how much time I spent at the computer. Now it’s my day job (computer programmer).
Anal
Never trying alcohol or drugs or cigarettes or gambling. My whole life I’ve had a strong intuitive sense to avoid all that stuff, and I’ve never even had the slightest desire. When I was in the army my colleagues would tease me that eventually some day I would crack and give in to the dark side, but nah.
dropping out of highschool. best decision I ever made tbh
I’ve kicked myself in the ass over that decision a lot over the years. It’s far behind me now, but I still kinda regret it.
Not moving out. In Germany there’s still a bit of a stigma around living with your parents past your mid-20s but when I see what’s currently going on with, you know, the housing market I’m glad I made that decision. I might have been a bit too lazy as well…
Plus I was able to save a bunch of money because of that, which is gonna come in handy for my move to Australia in September.
I wonder how your parents feel about that
In terms of living with my mum? She doesn’t mind; I do pay her a bit every month to compensate as well.
In terms of moving? My dad doesn’t care, I have a feeling that he wouldn’t even come to visit me. My mum obviously both doesn’t really want me to go and wants me to live my own life so she’s ultimately fine with it.
Honestly, living with my mum hasn’t been easy for the last year. There’s just so much petty drama happening between her, my sister and anyone who they think wrongs them (I won’t go into detail but it’s bad); so it’ll be great to get away from that.
That’s far faaar from my only reason to move to Australia, mind you.
I’ve accepted that my daughter probably won’t be able to get her own place once she’s done school. I’m OK with it, would rather she have that option than be potentially pressured into a toxic relationship to afford to live.
How’d you get approved for that? I thought Australia was very locked down for immigration
I didn’t get approved for anything yet but getting a 417 visa shouldn’t be that hard AFAIK and from there you just have to get lucky and be sponsored for a 482 visa by an employer, after that you can get permanent residency on the 186 visa, after 2 years with the same employer. Aaand from there it’s just another year until you can apply for citizenship.
Pretty straightforward, albeit a bit tedious…
30% of the population of Australia was born outside Australia.
Immigration is straightforward (although maybe expensive) if you can get one of the skilled migration visas.
Leaving proprietary software.
Yes. I keep hearing how Microsoft or Apple or Google is about to do something I shouldn’t miss. And they (the unmissable things) keep being kind of big nothings.
Not playing football, or being interested it it at all.
Not doing homework as a kid. Got to have a full childhood with lots of independent fucking around that has shaped my personality for the better. Tested out of school, and now me and those of my cohort who tried are all in the same boat anyway.
Hell yeah, brother. I’m in the same boat. Sunk myself into my computer instead of doing boring tasks after school and now it’s my job.
Were you homeschooled? That’s the only way I can imagine a kid could escape homework, because traditional shitty schools require homework. Because schools’ objective is to make children miserable & accustomize them to the agonizing relentless pressures of responsibility. I’m sincerely happy for you that you broke free from that bullshit & found true enjoyment in childhood, while traditional shitty schools rob children of their childhood joy 😥
Were you homeschooled? That’s the only way I can imagine a kid could escape homework
Disclaimer: I’m from the EU, I don’t know if it’s more difficult in the US. But I escaped homework by simply not doing it. I got yelled at, there were a lot of talks between my parents and the school, teachers made fun of me in front of the whole class…but that just made me more angry and more unwilling to do them. :)
Ultimately, there was nothing they could do, except giving me bad grades, but I didn’t much care about those. I’ve been a little shithead.
What also helped was my parents not giving much of a fuck either, they trusted me to do what’s best for me.
Same, just didn’t do the homework or attend school full time. Only turned up for a morning presence and went home shortly after. School tried for a year or 2, gave up and ignored it
The way I avoided home work in the 80s was not do it and not care about the repercussion, though I did drop out at 16 and get my GED.
Having kids. Maybe it is just communities I am in, however I fealt whole internet is against having kids.
It was the best decision I ever made!
Indeed! Good for you ignoring the doomers!
Kids are an absolute blessing. Like a bunch of best friend mini-me’s to enjoy life with.
Some say it’s unethical to bring kids into this world, yet they don’t seem to be in any rush to leave it themselves.
Plus humanity and life have faced difficult situations before. None of this would have existed if they had instead just given up and said “this is too hard for kids to handle”.
Are you seriously suggesting that people who don’t want to bring kids into a world where they don’t see a path towards ensuring their well-being…should kill themselves if they’re serious about it?
No, I’m saying the ones who say it’s evil to bring kids into this world are hypocrites if they themselves want to keep existing in this world but think a child couldn’t possibly want to exist in it.
Like anti-natalist, not just child free. I don’t think anyone has a duty to have kids and think not wanting kids is a great reason to not have them. I even disagree with doctors who refuse to sterilize people who would rather remove that possibility than keep the risk (and think the doctors should be shielded from any consequences when a patient later regrets that decision). I’d also call it fair if you said some people have no business having kids.
But there’s some people online who take that position to the next level and say that anyone having kids these days is wrong to do so.
It’s pathetic, considering how existence itself was a struggle for the past 3 billion years, then gets easier over the last like 100k, and now there’s new challenges and anti-natalists want us to just give up because it is hard?
And inconsistent because they don’t want to give up themselves, but want everyone else to not give future generations a chance.
And I didn’t say they should kill themselves, but if they believe existence is so painful and hopeless that creating new life is wrong, why haven’t they? Though that “if they are serious about it” is the crux of my position: I believe they are being dramatic or overcompensating for those other assholes that insist having kids is our only purpose and that everyone should have them and gets in their business about not wanting kids themselves.
I also believe that kids born during a collapse will probably have an easier time handling it (emotionally) than those of us who got used to life before a collapse. It’s just hard to say if that will apply to kids born soon or if it won’t be the case for some decades yet.
Well, now that I’ve got the long and short of it, what you’re saying makes sense. Thanks for expanding. I didn’t have that context.
I don’t have any disagreements. I think a decision like whether or not to have children is ultimately up to the individuals making the children. I do think there are many oft overlooked factors that can make having kids unethical, but I’m drawing my line well before suggesting having kids is always evil. That thought heavily implies that humanity itself is unethical and should be ended, and I say it’s not our place to decide that (though we could obviously stand to be so much better than we are now).
I appreciate the food for thought. Cheers.
They’re anything bus serious, but that does appear to be what they’re suggesting, yes. Typical pronatalist nonsense.
