I’m 30 years old (soon to be 31). I’m a new trans woman (still working through how I might accept it and see myself). I’m unsure how far I should go. I’ve spoken at some length on other communities about what it feels like to be “ugly and masc”. I realize feeling like I can’t “pass” as a fem is partly due to deeply rooted transphobia. I have what most older men have: masculine distribution of fat (bit of a belly), hairy everywhere, fears of balding (so far not yet), deepish voice, etc.

If I had no friends or family, I’d probably just go all in: hormone therapies, voice training, surgeries, etc. But I feel like I need to pass in front of my immediate family since I’m sure I wouldn’t be accepted. I love them, but they wouldn’t get it.

I don’t know how far I should go with transitioning. I am currently considering growing out my hair, shaving, and trying to do exercises that conform my body to a more stereotypical feminine shape. Is there a lot of risk in hormone therapies and voice training? Is it hard to go “boy mode” after the fact? What about being 30+ years old and starting it? Should I just accept I’ll never pass?

    • Helen@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      5·
      5 days ago

      I live in the uk so I diy. I can get approximately 18 months worth of hormones and injection supplies for £100.

      • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        6·
        5 days ago

        In the U.S. 1 year of injectable estrogen costs me around $100, FYI. Less now that I’ve had an orchi (my dose is maybe a quarter of what it was pre-surgery).

              • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                3·
                5 days ago

                That seems about right! I currently get about 1 hour a week on the genital region in prep for vaginoplasty (some weeks I double up, so 2 x 1 hour sessions in a week).

                • Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
                  3·
                  5 days ago

                  Okay, great to hear! Knowing i wont be getting price-gouged is good.

                  Does it generally take the whole hour for that one area, even after its been thinned down by previous sessions?

                  • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                    3·
                    5 days ago

                    I haven’t seen full clearance even with an hour once a week, and even with thinning. There is progress, but it’s not like laser where there is no hair for a while, it’s more like there’s always hair to zap for the whole hour (some of it new since last session, but most of it was there last session). After a month or two there is more thinning and I’m seeing more clearance - that is nice because the zaps are not as clustered (it can get really painful when many follicles are zapped in the same area).

        • NCC-21166 (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
          5·
          5 days ago

          HRT is cheap, relatively speaking. Just remember that you also need to get frequent blood tests. There can be very small side effects depending on your specific treatment and medical history, so doctors will want to make sure things are kept in check. I’m on spiro and a marathon runner, so I also need to watch potassium, for instance.

          The real expense is laser/electrolysis, and eventually surgery if you decide that’s the right path for you. I personally can’t wait to get all the testosterone poisoning gone, but I know it will take time and planning. And it will be worth it!