I’m 30 years old (soon to be 31). I’m a new trans woman (still working through how I might accept it and see myself). I’m unsure how far I should go. I’ve spoken at some length on other communities about what it feels like to be “ugly and masc”. I realize feeling like I can’t “pass” as a fem is partly due to deeply rooted transphobia. I have what most older men have: masculine distribution of fat (bit of a belly), hairy everywhere, fears of balding (so far not yet), deepish voice, etc.
If I had no friends or family, I’d probably just go all in: hormone therapies, voice training, surgeries, etc. But I feel like I need to pass in front of my immediate family since I’m sure I wouldn’t be accepted. I love them, but they wouldn’t get it.
I don’t know how far I should go with transitioning. I am currently considering growing out my hair, shaving, and trying to do exercises that conform my body to a more stereotypical feminine shape. Is there a lot of risk in hormone therapies and voice training? Is it hard to go “boy mode” after the fact? What about being 30+ years old and starting it? Should I just accept I’ll never pass?
Woah I thought that was going to be the biggest factor. I had no idea it was so cost effective.
Wait until you start looking for clothes 😆
or hair removal 💀
Trying to gauge how bad electrolysis price this is: is $100/hr a lot for it?
That seems about right! I currently get about 1 hour a week on the genital region in prep for vaginoplasty (some weeks I double up, so 2 x 1 hour sessions in a week).
Okay, great to hear! Knowing i wont be getting price-gouged is good.
Does it generally take the whole hour for that one area, even after its been thinned down by previous sessions?
I haven’t seen full clearance even with an hour once a week, and even with thinning. There is progress, but it’s not like laser where there is no hair for a while, it’s more like there’s always hair to zap for the whole hour (some of it new since last session, but most of it was there last session). After a month or two there is more thinning and I’m seeing more clearance - that is nice because the zaps are not as clustered (it can get really painful when many follicles are zapped in the same area).
Okay, i can see how that can add up quickly now. My goals are completely hairless genitals, “undercarriage”, and chest, slowly expanding to full body over time (everything neck down). This is probably going to take a good couple of years I’m starting to think (not discouraged tho! I want it done and plan in scheduling an appointment/consultation soon!)
I went with laser first and I’m pretty happy with the results - face, arms, legs, belly, chest, etc. I would say my dysphoria was worst for the face, then chest and belly hair were second. Shaving arms and legs are sorta normal for cis women so even though that makes me feel gross, it’s not too bad.
I’ll probably need electrolysis to finish up persistent patches on my face, but it will be a lot less than without laser. Laser overall is less painful for me than electrolysis, esp. 1 hour sessions 💀
That said, laser isn’t as permanent and electrolysis is definitely better if you can handle it. I just wanted to minimize my electrolysis as much as possible, and it’s sorta required for the surgery (laser is too slow and weak on the genital region to get sufficient hair loss, electrolysis is more reliable of a method for permanent removal, too).
HRT is cheap, relatively speaking. Just remember that you also need to get frequent blood tests. There can be very small side effects depending on your specific treatment and medical history, so doctors will want to make sure things are kept in check. I’m on spiro and a marathon runner, so I also need to watch potassium, for instance.
The real expense is laser/electrolysis, and eventually surgery if you decide that’s the right path for you. I personally can’t wait to get all the testosterone poisoning gone, but I know it will take time and planning. And it will be worth it!