Only if they want to.
And that is a HUGE if. Most people after their formal education decide to stop learning. And learning is the most important form of change.
Can they change? Yes.
Do they change? Not often.
Yes in 2 ways:
- Gradually through the years, so slowly they don’t even notice it
- If they internally decide they have to do it, for some motivation of their own
What will never ever happen is that people change if others demand it from them. If you hear someone saying “I promise I will change” - no they won’t.
I disagree with your last statement. Is promising to change not evidence of the motivation to change?
Some people lie about their intentions or don’t plan to change as quickly as expected, absolutely. But to assume everyone who has promised to change won’t feels unfair.
Is promising to change not evidence of the motivation to change?
How would that be? It may say a sincere desire to change… no, not a desire to change but for things to be different (that would much more exact, imho). But but that ends there. And it certainly says nothing about the motivation to do it (aka the willingness to accept the painful work that changing implies).
As an ex-addict myself (doesn’t matter much to what I was addicted), I know how easy it is to promise to change, and even to believe we will change and instantly, even a few instants after the promise was made, to completely forget about any change. And that’s true for addiction and for almost anything (thoughts we have, personal values and convictions, desire,…). At least, I think so.
When one is addicted to something, I know there are explanations to that failure in executing a promise and to keep one’s own word, but that doesn’t change that promising is very easy to do. It’s to deliver that is hard. In French, we say ‘une promesse n’engage que celui qui l’écoute’ (‘a promise only binds the one listening to it/believing it’) which to me summarize it perfectly.
If someone wants to show a real willingness to change, I know none but one method to do it which is… the painful one: to actually start changing. Not promising to change and also not make a sudden radical change (as that often will fail, but this is not the point). Actually starting to change, do the first step now. Not later, not tomorrow, not when I will be better. No nothing. Now.
I only quit my addiction(s, plural as there were quite a few) the day I did that first move not all those many times I promised I would soon change… for so many years.
People can change. I can obviously vouch for it. But saying one will change doesn’t mean much, if anything.
Then, another issue with changing is that too often the other person(s) to which one may have made a promise to change may be expecting a radical change instantly. This won’t work. Change requires a lot of efforts, a lot of patience, and a lot of good will (because things will not go straightforward) from anyone involved or concerned by said change.
Theres a few types of changes that can happen to people.
1: Change hammered in by the vicissitudes of time.
This is stuff like getting used to your dead end job because it’s comfy.
2: Change foisted upon you by happenstance.
This is stuff like becoming a parent or suffering a life changing medical emergency.
3: Reactive change caused by inner turmoil.
This is the kind of change that happens during a midlife crises or by an sudden inspiration that must be acted upon immediately or it loses its potency.
4: Intentional change by measured reason.
This is the kind of change people typically think of when they say people can’t change. It’s the hard kind of change and is rarely done in one’s life and even when it is done it’s the kind of windmill you can waste your whole life tilting at without ever slaying a single giant.
Anyone can change the shape of their soul if they recognize its current shape and start making changes to it.
Changing for the better is the real task.
They can for sure.
It depends and I judge based on what a person has done.
Can a murderer change? Well, they’ve taken a life or maybe numerous lives so I place them on the irreversible pile. Those who can’t change because let’s say, they might’ve had multiple chances to change prior to murdering and they blew them all.
Can an addict change? Possibly, if they haven’t gone far deep into the addiction. There will always be some kind of change opportunity for them and they haven’t done irreparable damage yet.
You have to evaluate people by levels and where their stances are in life.
If you are asking if a racist can become less racist, yes, but only if they spend time around people of other races often (and is willing to be open minded)
I’ll tell you that, if I didn’t immigrate to the US, and I was in China, I’d probably be very xenophobia against non-Chinese people, due to the lack of exposure to other people.
So in this timeline, I’m a Social Democrat that is accepting of LGBT+ people and people of other races.
In the other timeline, the one in which I did not immigrate to the US, who knows, maybe I’d be some Han-Supremacist Chinese-Nationalist?
When I think about stuff like the multiverse and stuff, its kinda unsettlling how different the diverging timelines could be.
I mean, there are probably “racist” versions of yourselves in another timeline, just saying. 👀
Aren’t all our cells replaced every seven years? So apart from inner change, depending on your view on Theseus’ Ship, you literally are a completely different person from seven years ago.
If they’re replaced why am I so much uglier
Yep, but they have to want it and work at it for positive results in many cases. Negative change can happen pretty easily through unwelcome events. That’s my overly simplistic answer.
nope you’re predetermined to be exactly as you were when you were born
Yes, have you never changed?
I have, in small ways. I think it’s less about changing but more about opening up though. I’m not sure my value system ever changed but it has been challenged again and again with new ideas and things I never knew to consider.
I’m worried the baby thinks people can’t change
Glass house, white Ferrari, live for New Year’s Eve, sloppy steaks at Truffoni’s. Big, rare cut of meat with water dumped all over it, water splashing around the table? Makes the night *so* much more fun. After the club, go to Truffoni’s for sloppy steaks. They’d say, ‘No sloppy steaks,’ but they can’t stop you from ordering a steak and a glass of water! Before you knew it, we were dumping that water on those steaks. The waiters were coming to try and snatch 'em up; we had to eat as fast as we could. Oh, I miss those nights; I *was* a piece of shit though!
Depends.
It’s a good idea to change those periodically.
I have no doubt it can be done. I’ve seen something along these lines for myself. Many people have begun their life with destructive ideas only to realize what was wrong and shake that off themselves, which one might say is natural as the seekers of insight we are. I’d be lying to say this didn’t describe me in a few ways, having thought in a more generalized, unthinking way in the past. Given enough time, it’s hard to imagine that not all of us would become Uncle Iroh.
We are given a glimpse of this in history; we see the likes of Hirohito going from warlike to a pacifist, General Butt Naked converting from a genocidal warlord to a preacher, Dr. Seuss once being Japanophobic before making amends, the great Confucius himself becoming who he was after being disillusioned with his position of power, and if you are of my religious group, God himself.
People can change if they’re willing to put in the effort to do so.
