So I’m watching this retrospective on Super Mario World, from a youtuber called The Gaming Historian. It’s a good watch, and you should watch it, but I’m not here to advertise it.

At 11:53 in the video, he begins to talk about how Mario games are about freedom. If you want to speed through the levels without picking up coins or powerups, you could. If you want to take your time and explore, you could.

And that got me to thinking about the 1980s, when I was a kid. I remember being drawn to it, and really connecting to it. It’s only now that I’m piecing the psychology together. My dad is a bit of a control freak. He’d rather something be accomplished poorly, and with less benefits, as long as he’s the one in control of other people doing the task.

In the 1980s we only had 1 TV. It’s not like now, where they give away TVs for sneezing in public, and everybody has 847 TV’s throughout their house. We had ONE tv, and the whole family had to share. Which meant when I played video games, usually mom and dad and my sisters would watch. Sometimes my sisters would play too, but mostly me.

I have vivid memories of me playing the game, and my dad wanting me to go down the pipe in 1-1. I instead got the hidden 1-up, but in doing so I passed the pipe. My dad was furious. I tried telling him “If I went down the pipe, I’d get like 15 coins. Coins are only good for collecting 100 of them, to get the 1-up. I skipped the coins to get the 1-up directly!”

And he’s yelling “BUT NOW YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THE TURTLE AND THE GOOMBAS!!! THE PIPE WOULD HAVE LET YOU SKIP IT!!!”

With me being 5 years old, I was getting very upset at being yelled at. Then my mom stepped in and started yelling at my dad. “IT’S JUST A DAMN GAME (his name)!!! LET HIM PLAY THE GAME HOWEVER HE WANTS!!! IT DOESN’T EVEN AFFECT YOU!!!”

Which made me really happy. I was free to get the 1-up anytime I wanted. I could search the stages for secrets. My friends would come over and during 1-2 they’d say “No no, jump OVER the top, you can run past the whole stage, and there’s a secret!” and so I did. My dad was yelling “NO! YOU GOTTA GO INTO THE PIPE!!! THAT’S HOW THE STAGE ENDS!!!” and my mom again would step in “IT’S A DAMN VIDEO GAME!!! YOU LET THEM PLAY HOW THEY WANT!!!”

And my friend later was like “Your dad is weird…”

Now, you can see the pattern I have with my dad. I try to do MY stuff, and he insists on getting his way. So when I was younger, that’s just how it was.

As we moved into the 90s though, we got a second TV. My mom left my dad for being a control freak, and she wasn’t in a place to financially support me. So I lived with my dad alone. My only time being NOT controlled is when I went into the other room and played video games. He would watch sports on his main TV. I would play Super Mario Bros on the second TV.

Suddenly I’m in a world where nobody is telling me where to go, or what to do. I can go as slow or as fast as I want. I can go down pipes, and explore underwater and jump on goombas.

Today it all sounds very very tame by comparison, and I’m not sure kids today would understand the concept of that eye opening experience. I liken it to being similar to when a teenager gets their first car. It’s a whole new set of freedom.

And all of this flashed before my eyes just now, watching The Gaming Historian talk about Super Mario World. Yes, I realize the game I was playing was the ORIGINAL Super Mario Bros, but they showed that game on screen for a few moments as a way to compare Super Mario World to the origins of the series. And just from a brief shot, I was transported back to the 1980s on that ugly red carpet we had before the fire. In front of that massive TV that would best be described as furniture, which would have been a 2 man lift if someone wanted to move it. Sitting there in what was probably pajamas or sweatpants. And getting yelled at because I got a 1-up instead of an underground secret to get 10 coins.

And just piecing it all together now as an adult.

Mario for me isn’t Charles Martinet. Mario for me isn’t about the story, or the graphics, or even to some extent about the games themselves. It’s always been an outlet of freedom. Even when life is at it’s worst, I can play Super Mario Bros, and be transported to a place where nobody can tell me no. Nobody can have control over who I am. I can explore as freely as I want. I can choose my own path, even though in the real world you’re always getting told what to do, where to go, and when to be there. You always had school. You always have work. You always had parents. You always had teachers. You always have a boss. I mean, I guess you could be an independent contractor, or the owner of your own business…but then you have customers who tell you what to do, and where to go. You’re ALWAYS on someone elses time. Except in the mushroom kingdom. And I guess it also explains why I cried the first time I saw “Jump Up Superstar” a few years ago. I remember feeling in the moment of playing it, that it was a celebration of 30 years of gaming that came before it. It was like it was a celebration of MY life in way too. Most people in my life see me as this unemotional guy who just shows up to work, does a job, and makes sure no problems happen. Just a steady reliable guy. And maybe those people would be very very confused at me crying over Jump Up Superstar. But that scene in Mario Odyssey is strangely the most emotional I’ve ever felt in a video game.

I can only think of one other time in video games that got me emotional, and that was Mother 3 when the mom dies, and Flint has to deal with the loss of his wife. THAT got me, but at least people would understand that. Jump Up Superstar is just a woman in red dress singing about letting your cares fade away, as they show video game references to the history of Super Mario Bros. I remember not being able to understand why I was crying at that. Now I understand it was more about reconnecting with your first ever freedom in life. I think I was about 35 when I played that? But it was bringing me right back to my childhood.

It’s just strange that a 10 second clip, inside a retrospective which is 1 hour and 10 minutes long, made me instantly throw myself into a rabbit hole of realization. Much of which I started piecing together as I typed THIS message.

This message initially was very short, and lighthearted in a fun way. Then I started exploring what I was actually saying. And inside my game room, I swear at LEAST 50% of the stuff is Mario themed in some way. I was just at 5-Below a week ago, and picked up 3 of these little light up characters. I got the mushroom, the goomba, and the fireflower. Apparently I’m missing the star.

And now I don’t even know how to wrap up this post, because it was never supposed to be this deep to begin with. This has been more like therapy with myself, in figuring myself out…and you’re all just here watching me descend into madness as I become gradually more and more obsessed with Nintendo, and grapple with the moral ramifications of my fandom of 80s/90s WWF wrestling.

But that’s a topic for a different day.