If I were a big fat bird I’d totally get captured by two starving cartoon cats hiding behind a wall as they watch me fall into their trap (a picture of seeds underneath a cafe held up by a string)
There’s a gourmet bakery near me. They always throw out really good bread, which I go dumpster diving for. Today they threw out cookies, I have eaten 2 so far. My mom is sick so I’m planning on giving some to her tomorrow, if they survive for that long.
I’m fairly new to dumpster diving, so if you have any tips I’d love to get them. I’ve worked in kitchens, so you don’t need to bother with basic food safety.
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Get a domino mask, a headband with little animal ears, and practice hissing.
I’m sure you can burn off those calories by going for a run 😉