I don’t know how applicable this is to this persons specifically, but here’s some general advice from someone who’s been on both sides (I’m trans), and got a high amount of matches either way.
Every woman I’ve spoken to about Tinder agrees :
Men overwhelmingly have profiles with little to no info in their bio (most often copy-pasted jokes, extremely generic facts like “I like food and music”…)
And poorly taken and/or cringe photos (posing with their car, half drunk with half a dozen other people, making a weird face, showing off nonexistent gains…)
If you want more matches, you need good pictures (not blurry, not from far away, not backlit) that stand out from the rest (especially, no one cares about your car. An expensive car is a huge douchebag redflag), and a bio that actually says something about your hobbies, world view, etc.
So, in summary, two steps :
Actually be an interesting person (probably already true, but hard to fix if not)
Communicate that properly (easier than you think, see above)
It’s been a minute, but it was an automatic “no” when someone would answer “what are 5 things you can’t live without” were stuff like food, water, and air. Yes, I know that. Tell me about yourself!
It was almost always men that answered that way.
I know I’m incredibly dull. I’m average looking. I was a single parent. A decent picture and a little about myself and I did alright though, even with the ladies.
Sure, people of every gender do it. I was, at the time, not filtering by gender. I noticed that the useless answers were usually from men.
It doesn’t mean that men are inherently bad at it (some men had great profiles), but as a whole they presented themselves poorly compared to everyone else.
Not having the natural aptitude or training is a reasonable excuse to not having a good profile, but if you come to conclude that is why you don’t have any matches you’re not totally helpless. You can at least try and improve it. There is plenty of good suggestions in this thread alone.
One of the problems I think is there aren’t good feedback mechanisms. If you have a bad profile, probably no one is going to tell you.
Well, some of the apps do have tutorials that try to help. I think Hinge even crammed an AI tool into the profile writing section. Maybe that helps some people. I think a lot of people just don’t understand the assignent, and think their personality and charm will shine through even when it’s not shown at all. Those people probably won’t use the tools or take feedback.
I skip on a lot of blank or bad profiles, and wonder if those people think they’re ugly or being screwed by the algorithm or whatever. I don’t have a way to be like “you’re not giving me anything to work with, and frankly this sole impression you’re giving me reads as lazy and uninteresting”
Counterpoint: tried the above to make a “good” profile, and also a “basic” profile literally generated from AI as a control.
The basic AI generated profile full of cliches and revealed nothing about me consistently got more attention.
Research has shown that most people overwhelmingly prefer “average” people, so if your goal is just maximising the number of matches then an “interesting” profile is actually worse.
I don’t think we can draw conclusions from this without knowing more details about what was in the “good” profile.
If the “good” profile was interesting like “I love extratone and 16th century spanish poetry” I can see why that won’t get hits. People can’t relate to it. But the matches you do get will be starting in a better position.
This is how you find out your profile’s bad.
I don’t know how applicable this is to this persons specifically, but here’s some general advice from someone who’s been on both sides (I’m trans), and got a high amount of matches either way.
Every woman I’ve spoken to about Tinder agrees :
Men overwhelmingly have profiles with little to no info in their bio (most often copy-pasted jokes, extremely generic facts like “I like food and music”…)
And poorly taken and/or cringe photos (posing with their car, half drunk with half a dozen other people, making a weird face, showing off nonexistent gains…)
If you want more matches, you need good pictures (not blurry, not from far away, not backlit) that stand out from the rest (especially, no one cares about your car. An expensive car is a huge douchebag redflag), and a bio that actually says something about your hobbies, world view, etc.
So, in summary, two steps :
It’s been a minute, but it was an automatic “no” when someone would answer “what are 5 things you can’t live without” were stuff like food, water, and air. Yes, I know that. Tell me about yourself!
It was almost always men that answered that way.
I know I’m incredibly dull. I’m average looking. I was a single parent. A decent picture and a little about myself and I did alright though, even with the ladies.
I have bad news: lots of non-men also post useless stuff like “I can’t live without water lol” or “what are you looking for: my keys lmfao”
Having a good profile is a skill, probably related to marketing, and some people have neither natural aptitude nor training in it.
Sure, people of every gender do it. I was, at the time, not filtering by gender. I noticed that the useless answers were usually from men.
It doesn’t mean that men are inherently bad at it (some men had great profiles), but as a whole they presented themselves poorly compared to everyone else.
I believe you. I wonder if anyone’s done studies on this to verify it’s true, how true it is, and maybe figure out why it’s true.
Not having the natural aptitude or training is a reasonable excuse to not having a good profile, but if you come to conclude that is why you don’t have any matches you’re not totally helpless. You can at least try and improve it. There is plenty of good suggestions in this thread alone.
One of the problems I think is there aren’t good feedback mechanisms. If you have a bad profile, probably no one is going to tell you.
Well, some of the apps do have tutorials that try to help. I think Hinge even crammed an AI tool into the profile writing section. Maybe that helps some people. I think a lot of people just don’t understand the assignent, and think their personality and charm will shine through even when it’s not shown at all. Those people probably won’t use the tools or take feedback.
I skip on a lot of blank or bad profiles, and wonder if those people think they’re ugly or being screwed by the algorithm or whatever. I don’t have a way to be like “you’re not giving me anything to work with, and frankly this sole impression you’re giving me reads as lazy and uninteresting”
“I like tacos! 🌮🌮🌮”
“ACKtually, there are certain molecules and bio-organisms you can’t live without and-- Hey, where are you going!?”
I think it’s nuts people don’t think of it like a resume.
Counterpoint: tried the above to make a “good” profile, and also a “basic” profile literally generated from AI as a control.
The basic AI generated profile full of cliches and revealed nothing about me consistently got more attention.
Research has shown that most people overwhelmingly prefer “average” people, so if your goal is just maximising the number of matches then an “interesting” profile is actually worse.
I don’t think we can draw conclusions from this without knowing more details about what was in the “good” profile.
If the “good” profile was interesting like “I love extratone and 16th century spanish poetry” I can see why that won’t get hits. People can’t relate to it. But the matches you do get will be starting in a better position.