(Content warning, discussions of SA and misogyny, mods I might mention politics a bit but I hope this can be taken outside the context of politics and understood as a discussion of basic human decency)

We all know how awful Reddit was when a user mentioned their gender. Immediate harassment, DMs, etc. It’s probably improved over the years? But still awful.

Until recently, Lemmy was the most progressive and supportive of basic human dignity of communities I had ever followed. I have always known this was a majority male platform, but I have been relatively pleased to see that positive expressions of masculinity have won out.

All of that changed with the recent “bear vs man” debacle. I saw women get shouted down just for expressing their stories of being sexually abused, repeatedly harassed, dogpiled, and brigaded with downvotes. Some of them held their ground, for which I am proud of them, but others I saw driven to delete their entire accounts, presumably not to return.

And I get it. The bear thing is controversial; we can all agree on this. But that should never have resulted in this level of toxicity!

I am hoping by making this post I can kind of bring awareness to this weakness, so that we can learn and grow as a community. We need to hold one another accountable for this, or the gender gap on this site is just going to get worse.

  • lemann@lemmy.worldM
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    4 months ago

    If you are not willing to follow the rules of this community clearly outlined in the sidebar, moderation action will be taken as necessary.

    Your original comment, which was removed by another moderator, was a very clear attack towards the OC; Do note that attacks directed towards other users are not allowed in this community.

    You are free to share your views in this community as long as they adhere to the community and this instance’s rules. However, if your views on “civility/politeness” means you are complicit in attacking other users here, you are free to contribute elsewhere on the internet.

    • whoreticulture@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 months ago

      What did I say that was an attack? “fuck you”? is that an attack lmao ? these rules are arbitrarily enforced because I have seen people say that all the time, or say “fuck you” just in more words that they think are clever. the only reason I didn’t put that in this post was I just forgot to lol

      • JonsJava@lemmy.worldM
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        4 months ago

        We are volunteers, with full-time jobs. We don’t watch all the comments in our communities. We tend to only act on reported infractions. For example, you are reported often for rule violations (rule 2, mostly).

        • whoreticulture@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          4 months ago

          Okay, and can you see how this is messed up? People most often report “incivility” when someone is expressing a minority opinion. 🙄🙄

          • JonsJava@lemmy.worldM
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            4 months ago

            The point is that if you see things, report them. That’s how we keep the community civil

            • supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz
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              4 months ago

              That is how you keep a community peaceful, not civil.

              In order to keep a community civil you have to understand when conflict is needed and also what types of people are usually silenced either by trolls or by selective enforcement of rules or community guidelines.