Nex Benedict died one day after a fight in a school bathroom. Their mother Sue Benedict tells Bevan Hurley that the gender fluid teenager endured more than a year of abuse simply for being who they were
I’m not going to aggressively confront my simple conservative acquaintances as if they themselves did this, but I do think it’s a moral obligation to root out and identify why our acquaintances support a regressive, fearful, and hateful brand of politics. Like any sale made, it has to be the customer’s choice, or at least the illusion of choice. You’ll never convert anyone to a more Leftist brand of looking at the world if your ideology seems aggressive or unhinged. We’re trying to make conservatism look less ideal than leftism.
Ancient Roman Conservatives (Optimates, cause of course) “Look when you lift their skirts, you find a Populare (Democrat). We need to bring back traditional values!”
Since the days of yore, always about traditional fucking values.
A few weeks ago, on 7 February, the bullying allegedly erupted in violence when Nex suffered severe head injuries during a “physical altercation” at Owasso High School, according to the Owasso Police Department.
Sue Benedict told The Independent she was called to the school that day to find Nex badly beaten with bruises over their face and eyes, and with scratches on the back of their head.
Nex told her that they and another transgender student at Owasso High School had been in a fight with three older girls in a girls bathroom. Nex was knocked to the ground during the fight and hit their head on the floor, according to their mother.
Ms Benedict said she was furious that the school had failed to call an ambulance or the police. She said the school then informed her Nex was being suspended for two weeks.
She took Nex to the Bailey Medical Center in Owasso for treatment. They spoke to a police school resource officer at the medical facility and were discharged.
That night, Nex went to bed with a sore head and eventually fell asleep while listening to music, Ms Benedict said.
On the afternoon of 8 February, Nex was getting ready to go to Tulsa with Ms Benedict for an appointment when they collapsed in the family living room.
Ms Benedict called an ambulance, and Owasso Fire Department medics arrived to find Nex had stopped breathing. Nex was taken to the St. Francis Pediatric Emergency Room where they were later declared dead.
This child’s blood is on their hands. Not just the kids who did the physical beating, but also the conservatives who set up a culture where this is acceptable.
Try to join the rest of us in reality when you can.
This child’s blood is on their hands. Not just the kids who did the physical beating, but also the conservatives who set up a culture where this is acceptable.
Try to join the rest of us in reality when you can.
Well, if Nex’s sexual identity indeed was the reason they are dead, and all this had taken place, say, 20 years ago, nobody would’ve died because nobody would’ve asserted their sexual identity in public.
Should children have the privilege of asserting their sexual identity in public? I guess so. Does it sometimes have consequences? Bad as it is, yes. You may very well argue that something is wrong that when it has consequences, but that argument doesn’t yet remove the consequences.
So I think it is not me who’s not in sync with reality here.
e: gender identity in this case, not sexual identity
Well, if Nex’s sexual identity indeed was the reason they are dead, and all this had taken place, say, 20 years ago, nobody would’ve died because nobody would’ve asserted their sexual identity in public.
Not only is that not true, people have been coming out since humans existed, it’s also wrong. You’re confusing sexual identity with gender identity.
Regardless, all you are doing is victim blaming. Nobody should get beaten to death for how they express themselves. This is supposed to be the land of the free, not the land of the beatings for people society deems weird.
You may very well argue that something is wrong that when it has consequences, but that argument doesn’t yet remove the consequences.
The consequences for self expression should not be death, much less vigilante beatings that result in death. And your appathy is frankly disgusting, and a part of the problem.
Well, if Nex’s sexual identity indeed was the reason they are dead, and all this had taken place, say, 20 years ago, nobody would’ve died because nobody would’ve asserted their sexual identity in public.
Instead of someone being beaten to death because of their gender identity, they would beat someone to death because they are gay, or suspected of being gay.
History rhymes.
So your stance is essentially: “queerphobic culture exists therefore queer people should hide to be safe”?
Rather than question the legitimacy or merits of transphobia and fascism, you are placing the burden on the marginalized members to hide and just accept the unjust status quo. Just because something is the status quo does not make it right and it doesn’t make it immutable.
No one is arguing about the existence of consequences. The consequences of hate are painfully clear to everyone. We are saying instead that there ought not to be deadly consequences for being different. It’s unjust.
By your logic, African Americans should have just stayed in the back of the bus and in separate facilities. After all, they got sprayed with firehouses and killed for seeking equal treatment. Consequences amiright? Similarly, American colonists should have just bent the knee because England sent literal armies when they dared to declare independence. Oh well, they should have been aware of the consequences.
Transphobia and fascism isn’t natural law. It can and should be fought. “Aw man that’s just the way it is” is apologetic and defeatist at best.
Then we agree that children shouldn’t have to fight these battles. Unfortunately, the “adults” in Oklahoma and many other states are either failing them or actively participating in their persecution.
I assume you’re a grown-ass person like me. It is my job and your job to make this a safer world for people like Nex. Until then, they are indeed fending for themselves. I vote for the least-bad candidates, contact my representatives frequently, and give to charities who help queer people; admittedly I need to do more. The relevant question isn’t what Nex should have done; they died for being. The question is what can you do such that people like Nex don’t have to fight hate groups alone?
Voting is the bare minimum participation in politics. The groups that want to exterminate queer people are well funded and highly motivated. They sure as hell do more than vote once every four years and hope for the best. Their propagandists never sleep; right now they are kicking the left’s asses in the sheer volume of propaganda they produce and its having an impact.
Well, if Nex’s sexual identity indeed was the reason they are dead, and all this had taken place, say, 20 years ago, nobody would’ve died because nobody would’ve asserted their sexual identity in public.
Ah, yes, I remember 20 years ago, where no one asserted their sexual identity, neither cis heterosexual men nor cis heterosexual women did hold hands nor did kiss their partners nor did host large feasts to celebrate their marriages, where neither the groom nor the bride wore specific clothes socially assigned to their gender. No one did this and you could certainly never see it, anywhere.
Listen, I’m a cis straight guy, I just want everyone to enjoy the same freedoms and respect, and some assholes are really keen on not letting some specific people have them.
Ah yes. The totally normal spontaneous death of a 16 year old completely unrelated to the physical trauma suffered just before. You conservative apologists are always so fast to jump to conspiracy, why not now?
There’s a bit of media darwinism here. 15000-20000 teenagers die in USA every year. If the conditions hadn’t been what they were, this would not have broken the media barrier.
But of course, sometimes the obvious answer is the correct one. It could also be self-harm, it would track with not showing enough physical trauma from the altercation to cause death, but would still be indirectly caused by it. The publicized messages between Nex and their grandparents suggested that they (Nex) took the altercation quite casually, but perhaps that was just a front.
So true. There must be no forgiveness, no tolerance, no acceptance. Conservatives must be purged from this planet. This is the ONLY way forward, if we want a society that is good for everybody.
Conservatism is a plague of oppression, violence and death. It always has been. There is no place in a modern society for conservatism.
When you see your conservative neighbors, co-workers and relatives, remember they killed this innocent child. They did this.
I’m not going to aggressively confront my simple conservative acquaintances as if they themselves did this, but I do think it’s a moral obligation to root out and identify why our acquaintances support a regressive, fearful, and hateful brand of politics. Like any sale made, it has to be the customer’s choice, or at least the illusion of choice. You’ll never convert anyone to a more Leftist brand of looking at the world if your ideology seems aggressive or unhinged. We’re trying to make conservatism look less ideal than leftism.
Ancient Roman Conservatives (Optimates, cause of course) “Look when you lift their skirts, you find a Populare (Democrat). We need to bring back traditional values!”
Since the days of yore, always about traditional fucking values.
And like now they aren’t. It’s a factionalized past constructed by the traditionalists.
Obviously they did not.
This child’s blood is on their hands. Not just the kids who did the physical beating, but also the conservatives who set up a culture where this is acceptable.
Try to join the rest of us in reality when you can.
Well, if Nex’s sexual identity indeed was the reason they are dead, and all this had taken place, say, 20 years ago, nobody would’ve died because nobody would’ve asserted their sexual identity in public.
Should children have the privilege of asserting their sexual identity in public? I guess so. Does it sometimes have consequences? Bad as it is, yes. You may very well argue that something is wrong that when it has consequences, but that argument doesn’t yet remove the consequences.
So I think it is not me who’s not in sync with reality here.
e: gender identity in this case, not sexual identity
Not only is that not true, people have been coming out since humans existed, it’s also wrong. You’re confusing sexual identity with gender identity.
Regardless, all you are doing is victim blaming. Nobody should get beaten to death for how they express themselves. This is supposed to be the land of the free, not the land of the beatings for people society deems weird.
The consequences for self expression should not be death, much less vigilante beatings that result in death. And your appathy is frankly disgusting, and a part of the problem.
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deleted by creator
Instead of someone being beaten to death because of their gender identity, they would beat someone to death because they are gay, or suspected of being gay.
History rhymes.
Trans people are a part of the LGBTQ+, so this is nothing new. It’s just a continuation or a long history of violence against the LGBTQ+
So your stance is essentially: “queerphobic culture exists therefore queer people should hide to be safe”?
Rather than question the legitimacy or merits of transphobia and fascism, you are placing the burden on the marginalized members to hide and just accept the unjust status quo. Just because something is the status quo does not make it right and it doesn’t make it immutable.
No one is arguing about the existence of consequences. The consequences of hate are painfully clear to everyone. We are saying instead that there ought not to be deadly consequences for being different. It’s unjust.
By your logic, African Americans should have just stayed in the back of the bus and in separate facilities. After all, they got sprayed with firehouses and killed for seeking equal treatment. Consequences amiright? Similarly, American colonists should have just bent the knee because England sent literal armies when they dared to declare independence. Oh well, they should have been aware of the consequences.
Transphobia and fascism isn’t natural law. It can and should be fought. “Aw man that’s just the way it is” is apologetic and defeatist at best.
Sure. But fighting is not a safe, one-sided activity. Sometimes you punch a fascist and sometimes the fascist punches back.
While it’s all brave and great, I still feel not absolutely great about the idea of having children fight these battles.
Then we agree that children shouldn’t have to fight these battles. Unfortunately, the “adults” in Oklahoma and many other states are either failing them or actively participating in their persecution.
I assume you’re a grown-ass person like me. It is my job and your job to make this a safer world for people like Nex. Until then, they are indeed fending for themselves. I vote for the least-bad candidates, contact my representatives frequently, and give to charities who help queer people; admittedly I need to do more. The relevant question isn’t what Nex should have done; they died for being. The question is what can you do such that people like Nex don’t have to fight hate groups alone?
I voted for Biden and this still happened. Voting literally didn’t help.
Voting is the bare minimum participation in politics. The groups that want to exterminate queer people are well funded and highly motivated. They sure as hell do more than vote once every four years and hope for the best. Their propagandists never sleep; right now they are kicking the left’s asses in the sheer volume of propaganda they produce and its having an impact.
deleted by creator
Oh, I should let you know that people frequently enjoy a fake laugh to stop me talking.
Why would you think these would be different?
deleted by creator
Ah, yes, I remember 20 years ago, where no one asserted their sexual identity, neither cis heterosexual men nor cis heterosexual women did hold hands nor did kiss their partners nor did host large feasts to celebrate their marriages, where neither the groom nor the bride wore specific clothes socially assigned to their gender. No one did this and you could certainly never see it, anywhere.
Listen, I’m a cis straight guy, I just want everyone to enjoy the same freedoms and respect, and some assholes are really keen on not letting some specific people have them.
“Owasso police issued a subsequent statement on 21 February to say that an autopsy indicated that Nex had not died as a result of trauma.” STFU
Ah yes. The totally normal spontaneous death of a 16 year old completely unrelated to the physical trauma suffered just before. You conservative apologists are always so fast to jump to conspiracy, why not now?
Reminds me of a bit from a web serial called Pale:
“I was in my rights to weaken him.”
“You shot the man in the head, you said,” Musser replied.
“It left him very weak, yes. He died shortly after.”
Mostly I wanted to tell you drama queen fucks to stfu bout blaming half a nation.
Not even close to half lmao
Enjoy the next Trump presidency.
Reactionaries be wildin
Do you understand anything people say to you or do you just twist the meaning and play dumb to score points in your own head?
Oh don’t worry, I understand dog whistles very well 😋😋😋
There’s a bit of media darwinism here. 15000-20000 teenagers die in USA every year. If the conditions hadn’t been what they were, this would not have broken the media barrier.
But of course, sometimes the obvious answer is the correct one. It could also be self-harm, it would track with not showing enough physical trauma from the altercation to cause death, but would still be indirectly caused by it. The publicized messages between Nex and their grandparents suggested that they (Nex) took the altercation quite casually, but perhaps that was just a front.
So true. There must be no forgiveness, no tolerance, no acceptance. Conservatives must be purged from this planet. This is the ONLY way forward, if we want a society that is good for everybody.
That is not at all what they are saying.
So? That’s what I am saying. What are they saying in your opinion? To silently seethe at the conservatives while not doing anything?
You are mocking a call to violence in which there is none. They’re saying conservatism (the belief, the ideology) needs to die.
Conservatives should be openly mocked and ridiculed for their cruelty and violence. They should be laughed out of office.
You are being entirely idealistic. You are saying things that sound nice to you without considering how realistic they are.
You cannot attack an ideology without attacking the people who make up that ideology. They cannot be cleanly distinguished from each other.
At some level you even realize this.
This means attacking the people. You are talking about making conservatives social pariahs, having them lose their livelihoods and power.
So yes, destroy conservatism, but if you don’t have the stomach to do everything that simple statement entails, get out of my way.
Quit your bullshit. Dunking on shitty beliefs does not equate to killing or hurting people like you were suggesting.
Good job moving the goal posts. First it was purging. Now it’s being made out to be social pariahs. Pick one, and quit equating scorn with violence.
No one hasn’t mentioned violence except you. The word “attack” can mean many things.
You have a short memory
https://lemm.ee/comment/9485402