DM with with your address immediately and I’ll show up with a van to take all your money.
spoiler
this is a joke if that wasn’t obvious
spoiler
OR IS IT!?!?!? Better have your money ready just in case!
Sorta tempted to reach out to that woman and be like “I know how to get your $50,000 back but I’ll have to pay my MI6 contacts with your remaining $30,000, don’t worry, doing this will prove how little of a ‘rube’ you are”
Jokes on you I’m part of a new special branch of CIA that has authority over your branch of CIA and I hate to break it to you but you’re being ordered to donate all your department’s money to communism.
It’s part of our plans or some shit
I assume that this is exactly how office politics work in the CIA. Like you just go steel people’s shit from the break room fridge and they can’t do anything about it because no one is legally allowed to admit you exist or something.
Nice try! But I am actually part of the MEGA-CIA. I insist that you give me all your owl pellet. We need them to do a coup or something.
Fucking CIA always taking my owl pellets
Not gonna get me. I’m smarter than the average financial column writer so I won’t fall for this
Low bar to clear but I guess you did it
i uh also need a shoebox full of money
Oooh I don’t know. Maybe I could talk to my husband first? If it’s serious though I could just go get the money now. As a journalist I know how sensitive this stuff can be.
NOOOOO YOU CANNOT TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND, OR A LAWYER!!! OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER!!!
Jokes on you I don’t have any money
If we had money, we wouldn’t be communists
there are bourgeois class traitors among us
if any of them are reading they could house our homeless comrades and then get me out of this dump/hellhole
I could unironically do this, but it would require saving up maybe 30-50k more. Every bandaid I give out puts me further from that permanent solution.
the last decade or so has really tanked my evaluation of bandaids but i would imagine you’ve investigated and thought about it more than i have
By bandaids I mean “giving out $5-100 to people for transactional expenses”.
By permanent solution I mean “buying a house and communizing it, splitting the costs amongst 3-5 people, then using the ensuing savings to buy more houses to communize”.
I could give away all my savings to “mutual aid” and then we’d all be back at square one except I might add a crowdfunder for a communal house to the ever expanding chorus of “gib mony”, or I could hold on to all of my savings to offer a partial escape from capitalism to multiple people.
soapbox
I live in a low cost of living housing environment.
All I need is for a couple people to join me in the project of living together and pooling resources and working full-time, in order to make combined savings of 40-60k per year, at which point we’d be adding a new house every 18 months or so. Then we could
…control certain areas of this section in order to run our illegitimate business, possess unregistered firearms, stolen vehicles, mind-altering inhibitors and only use cash for financial purchases, be very dangerous people and regularly disobey the law.
Unironically though there are businesses I want to start that could support a transition from urban cohousing to urban commune.
You probably do more good giving money to a org that helps the unhoused than personally letting an unhoused person crash in your basement. By all means do both if you can, but actual organized groups can use resources more effectively than a lone good Samaritan can, they probably get twice the good out of every dollar you give them than you’d get spending it yourself. But be sure to research any orgs before you give to make sure they’re not a grift.
Are you telling me that it’s better to give up my own agency in leading my life in a revolutionary direction, which I’m in grasping distance of, and instead I should pin both all of my hopes and all of my resources to be pooled in separate larger organizations, which only promise a resolution that’s beyond the horizon?
I’m not talking about hypotheticals, I’m talking about the actual trajectory of my life that has been getting clearer and clearer for years.
Was gonna say based on some of the computer advice I’ve gotten here I’m pretty sure we have some tech workers who are probably making over 150k a year here.
true but remember your class position is about your relationship to capital, even well-compensated tech workers are still mostly workers, with a precarious relationship to the means of production (as in they can be fired, etc.)
Oh yeah no. But still, if you’re making over 100k you’re probably doing more than alright even in the more expensive zip codes in the US. You’re def a labor aristocrat in the least. Which is fine, I don’t begrude anyone for living decently, and FYI I’m currently trying to get a masters in a computer related field largely cuz I want to make enough money to buy myself more tasty treats (well really I just want to get a cabin in New Hampshire to become and old hippy man in), but just saying not everyone on here is some 19 year old crust punk posting from the library.
i have my shoebox ready, can you give me ur home address so i can ship it to you
Sure thing.
1000 Colonial Farm Road, Langley, Fairfax County, Virginia
Those words are familiar, see you soon
Sir, do you know who you’re talking to…
I am a federal agent of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, et Firearms.
You can be convicted for impersonating a CIA agent, since they are only allowed on international territory, beyond the scope of the U.S.
Remember, for this crime…
If prosecuted by indictment, the maximum penalty is 5 years incarceration. If prosecuted by summary conviction, the maximum penalty is 2 years less a day jail and/or a $5,000 fine (from Sept 19, 2019).
Note: I can legally shoot you 2 times in the head, with a .38 revolver, under the pretence of self-defense, if not frame it as a suicide, with the aid of some folks I know…
Cease and desist or you will be sorely missed…
spoiler
This is a fake, in case anyone asks…
Oh shit. Can you you send me some money to buy a shoe box? I swear I’ll pay you back later.
No I need it for totally ethnical CIA things
vaguely ethnic
I’m in overdraft. So now you owe me money
No now you owe me double money
I only have apes, will those work for CIA business?
Gitmo? How about you gitmo deez nuts?
“You think we’re lying, or that this is a joke? Then why do you think it’s called Gitmo? ‘Cause you better go Git mo’ money for us!”You think I look like I can afford shoes?!
Fine just send it in any kind of box
oh no i don’t have a shoe box, im gonna get sent to gitmo!
i also don’t have any money, but if i had a shoebox i could toss some loose change in there and be free from legal action
Putting one penny in a shoebox to thwart the CIA
