Pretty sure that’s wood.
The pieces of wood shaped like slices of bread are disturbing.
But if you zoom in, they aren’t. It’s shadowss.
If you then enhance, you notice it is actually painted.
Lol. That would make more sense!
Cutting boards to be more specific.
I’m pretty sure it’s fake.
Whats with the little gimp nook behind the fridge? The spiders in there are probably so big they have names.
I was trying to think of the words to describe that area and you came up with something much better than I could have.
Friend had cellar spiders in his bathtub in college. Of course they all had appropriate (i.e. stupid) names.
When I was a kid my parents had a shower in the basement. It’s normal for my area, a lot of outdoor manual laborers back in the day so having a shower in the basement meant you could come home after work and not drag the stink and filth of work into the house. I didn’t do outdoor manual labor but I worked in restaurants, which brings with it its own stink and filth, and I also often got home at like 3am, so I used the basement shower om an effort to keep the house clean and not wake everyone else up. This meant that I had to establish something I called the Basement Spider Detente. We had tons of spiders down there, and I try to be respectful of everyone’s right to be alive absent any unwarranted aggression. The deal we reached was as follows: the entire basement and garage belonged to the spiders. They were free to roam, hunt, and generally spide however they saw fit. The shower was off-limits, though, and the penalty for coming within jumping distance of my naked bits was summary execution. I like to think that somewhere near Pittsburgh is a genetic line of cellar spiders that differ from the rest of their species in being extremely hydrophobic. I hope their line succeeds and confounds biologists in the centuries after I go to wherever it is we all must one day go.
I love your verbification of “spide” — and your respect of our eight-legged allies.
My last house was infested with them, and not through lack of trying to get rid.
It was an old stone house and cold damp corners were everywhere.
I woke up with one of the leggy fuckers carrying an egg sac on my face and decided to move out there and then.
They bring luck, the spiders. I like them.
Wait… does that mean your friend never bathed so the spiders would live?
Yes and yes.
gimp nook
I don’t know when I’ll get to use it but I’m stealing it.
Cellar spiders have more relative square footage in their loft than we do in our entire apartments
The more I look at this the worst it gets
Is that a door behind the wood/bread in that enclave? This room is nightmare fuel.
Enclave? Oh you mean the bedroom.
Middle ages style bed. Where you sleep sitting up because otherwise Death will think you died.
I would walk into those pillars multiple times per day
Yeah those pillars are horrible. It generally feels very claustrophobic in there, super low ceiling, I wouldn’t feel comfortable there at all
There’s a pillar directly in front of the oven too. I guess the tenant can just forget about cooking anything bigger than a pizza bagel.
As luck would have it, though, when pizza is on a bagel, you can have pizza anytime. So, ya know, at least they won’t starve… They’ll just be incredibly malnourished as a result of their structurally imposed dietary restrictions.
I’m glad I’m not the only person who remembers this jingle.
I think that’s just the perspective and cropping of the picture. It looks like the nearest pillar is in the same row of tile as the further pillar, so there are three rows of tiles between the oven and the pillar.
Nah those look like 30cm tiles given that fridges and ovens have pretty standard widths and assuming the 2 poles are in line you would have about 75cm or 2 and a half feet from the front of the oven.
I mean its cramped but its usable.
Are those pillars structural ?
It looks like it’s in the basement.
The fact it is underground makes the goblin hole even more disturbing.
Purely cosmetic, just like the inaccessible space next to the fridge
Only one way to know *grab axe*
Not to mention at night
This has strong “student housing in someone’s basement” vibes.
Looks like it might be converted from a restaurant kitchen, with the supports and the tiles used.
I finally blocked you because I can’t stand seeing your obnoxious username in every post
And you felt the need to tell me because…?
This feels like 3D objects that loaded inside of another object in a video game or something
You’ve no-clipped into the backrooms.
It puts the lotion on its skin or it doesn’t get any more bread
Feng shuin’t
As a kitchen designer I can’t look away. I know it’s still there if I don’t look.
How does this happen? Why would anyone build this kitchen this way?
You start with a house old enough to have the kitchen designed around a wood stove (which goes in that alcove). Someone eventually rips it out and tries to modernise the kitchen, leaving a weird space and a kitchen layout which is a bit off. The original walls and room layout are often messed with as well, which doesn’t help.
It’s for the wall-goblin. The goblin that lives in the walls.
The goblin’s going to eat something. It’s in everyone’s best interest that something be bread.
I think those are terribly placed clipboards with sheets of paper on them.
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Maybe but in either case that most definitely isn’t bread.
The whole picture feels like that kitchen was made by aliens to put abducted humans in it and make them feel like home.
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