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Stamets@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

The fuck do I do now?

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The fuck do I do now?

lemmy.world

Stamets@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.world · 1 year ago
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  • Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    Pre-boil all their pasta and put in back in the box to make dinner easier for them next time

    • BlackPenguins@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Also pre-boil all their water and put it in the freezer for them.

      • Pup Biru@aussie.zone
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        1 year ago

        well thanks i guess for that rabbit hole i just dove head first down

    • NatakuNox@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Who hurt you?

  • TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    Removed by mod

    • Nougat@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      Change where their silverware drawer is to assert dominance.

      • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I fart in the silverware drawer. So then they will open it like ‘boy oh boy I need a fork right now OH NO ITS FARTS!’

        • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Take a dump in their nipple cabinet.

    • Shady_Shiroe@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I want a friendship divorce and I’m taking the house with me

      • TinklesMcPoo@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Think of what this will do to the ottomans! Won’t someone think of the ottomans!?

        • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

    • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      Honestly if my friend did this I’d let her reorganize my kitchen.

      She’s about the same height as me, and lives in a tiny place, so she’d probably have some good ideas.

      Also my cabinets and drawers are a mis-match hodgepodge (they aren’t all the same depth or height; some of them have lost half their volume for unknown ancient-house reasons) so I’m always down for ideas.

  • NatakuNox@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Power up the SNES and grab a soda my dude!

    • kratoz29@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Soda in the morning!?

      I mean, I think I could drink it but I’m not in a mood… Unless I have tacos!

      Certainly this wouldn’t be a problem as a kiddo.

  • variants@possumpat.io
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    1 year ago

    Hangout with their mom in the kitchen

    • SeabassDan@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You gotta schedule something for later, there wouldn’t be enough time.

  • uphillbothways@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Just leave. They’re probably listening to you while trying to remain motionless because they can’t stand people in the morning. Go home. Break the silent stale mate.

  • Resol van Lemmy@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Betray them by secretly leaving the house without leaving any traces behind. Putting your phone on silent also helps.

    • SeabassDan@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      And just take one or two plants.

      • Resol van Lemmy@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        They’ll know.

        • SeabassDan@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Mom will know, she’ll blame her own kid.

          • Resol van Lemmy@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Ah yes, they always do that.

  • tygerprints@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    That’d be me. I’m usually the first one up in any situation. So sometimes I just go ahead and make the coffee and start the breakfast. I mean no one’s going to get upset waking up to the smell of bacon and eggs and pancakes.

    • teejay@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You’re a very grown up and productive child, unless you’re still rocking sleepovers in your 20s and 30s. Either way, do you man, and pour me a cup.

      • Pup Biru@aussie.zone
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        1 year ago

        i think sleepovers in your 20s and 30s involve a lot more sex

        … i mean, at least in gay world they do

      • tygerprints@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        That’s a very apt description of me. I’m a grown up child of a man, and that’s how I’ve always been. I have the 10 year old mentality but I’m actually five decades beyond that and I still act and even look like a younger man. Maybe it’s the bacon and eggs.

    • delirious_owl@discuss.online
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      What if your friend has housemates? You just used other people’s food, and now 3 out of 4 people who live there hate you

    • CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      What if your friend is a vegan?

      • Argonne@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        More for me, then

      • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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        1 year ago

        Then they’d be up a dawn to absorb sunlight for sustenance.

        • ikidd@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Its a known fact vegans develop chlorophyll cells in the skin when they change diet. They also grow roots and completely stop moving except to get on the internet to tell people they’re vegan.

        • CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Ahhh, that vit D!

      • oce 🐆
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        1 year ago

        Peanut butter and jelly

  • ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Now imagine this before smartphones were a thing lol

    • MrShankles@reddthat.com
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      Gonna fire up their N64 and hope they don’t wake up too soon, cause I want some alone time with it… I ain’t got one at home, and I’m tired of being wrecked in Golden Eye just because they get to practice every day after school. Shh shhh shhhh … sleep a little longer my friend. Them chickens coming home to roost any day now

  • cum@lemmy.cafe
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    1 year ago

    Play on my phone, or if it’s been like an hour I’ll probably just dip out lol

  • aesthelete@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Just bounce; especially if everyone was drinking.

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