• Rivermoonwolf@lemmy.world
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    15 days ago

    This reminds me of my brother. I’d known my wife for two months before we got married. We celebrate 10 years next month

    Meanwhile, in the same time frame, he’s on wife six.

    • CADmonkey@lemmy.world
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      15 days ago

      Sounds like my brohther in law. He and others were taking bets on how long my wife and I would last, with nobody thinking we would make it past a year.

      It was 17 years this year. BIL is on wife #3.

      • neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works
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        15 days ago

        People like that think if they can do “better” than their peers, they’re winning somehow with relationships.

        They have a fundamental misunderstanding about what relationships are about.

        Which is why theirs fail. They think it’s a game and there’s points and winners and losers.

        They will never learn that it’s about putting someone else’s needs ahead of your own sometimes is what’s best in life.

        • CADmonkey@lemmy.world
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          15 days ago

          I have someone to care for, and she cares for me. That’s all I ever wanted. Her getting excited about my dumb nerd stuff is just a bonus.

        • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world
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          15 days ago

          Team effort always. Making each other better. Caring for each other when down.

          It makes me sad some people can get so lost in material things and lose the thing that makes us human.

    • TommySalami@lemmy.world
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      15 days ago

      2 months seems quick to me, but I’m also feeling like I’m in a similar position. I’m dating someone currently that I’ve know for a while, and I’m thinking about proposing soon (we’re only a couple months into an actual relationship, and we’ve also talked about me doing this). I’m a little worried we’re both just getting carried away. So I guess my question to you is how did you know so soon, or was it a leap of faith in a way?

      • thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world
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        15 days ago

        From personal experience on this, it ended terribly for me. I didnt really know the person I married and we were completely incompatible together. Mostly because I’m incompatible with being abused and she was incompatible with not abusing people.

        I suggest cooling your jets and moving in together for a year. Maybe even two. Then propose if it goes well in that year or two. But not after 2 months…

        • Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de
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          15 days ago

          Mostly because I’m incompatible with being abused and she was incompatible with not abusing people.

          That was a freaking funny way to say that man, especially in contrast to the content.

      • Rivermoonwolf@lemmy.world
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        15 days ago

        A combination of both, really. We just…knew. And I’ll be honest, it’s taken work. A lot of it. Our main rules are honesty and communication. We also tell people marriage isn’t 50/50. It’s 100/100. If you’re giving only 50%, you’re holding back and it won’t work.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        15 days ago

        Is there a reason not to wait until you’ve cooled off out of new relationship energy? Maybe it’s not a bad idea, but being early in a relationship is a sort of being high on each other. The relationship will cool down as it matures, that’s not to say it gets worse, when it’s great it gets different but remains wonderful. But early on you’re not in the long term stage and you don’t truly know how you or your partner will be in that stage.

        If there’s a good reason, go for it, but it carries risk.

      • nickiwest@lemmy.world
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        14 days ago

        My husband and I knew within a few months that we were in love and we wanted to be together forever. We got engaged right away, but we waited a year after that to get married.

        We were very young, but we’ve put in the work and we still take time to have fun together. We’ll celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary next month.