Editor’s note: this is a post about American Independence Day celebrations
existentialmemes
Alright, I’m going to launch explosives around your house. For several hours. Yes it is dangerous and terrible for wildlife and the environment. And yes your pets will get sick from eating the debris and you will feel terrorized inside your own home.
No you can’t opt out of it. Everyone is doing it and frankly it’s weird that you don’t want to.
No you can’t be the one launching the explosives you need a license for that. You can however launch these marginally smaller ones though. Yeah just whenever you want. 2am sounds great.
So anyway, fireworks were a mistake and it’s never too early to start reminding you of that.
I spend much of my year in a country where fireworks start in early December and go until mid January. Random pops at 3am on any given day of the week are entirely normal. I’m convinced that people who can seemingly be perpetually amused by “haha it go boom!” again and again and again are fucking simpletons.