• Something Burger 🍔
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    10 months ago

    There’s groups out there for almost any hobby, so you can get to know people through that.

    This advice only works for normal people. I’ve been going to the weightlifting gym and the bouldering gym at least twice a week for 3 years now, and I didn’t meet anyone.

    • TheDarksteel94@sopuli.xyz
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      10 months ago

      To be fair, I wouldn’t necessarily consider the gym a place to meet people either. Most people there just do their thing and go home. 😅

      If you really want to connect with people there you could ask someone to either spot you or ask them about something else related to the gym. Although I would consider that pretty advanced already. Sometimes a simple greeting whenever you’re there or some small talk is enough practice for a while. Even if it’s just the person at the reception or the person that you see there all the time. It helps.

      Personally, I was forced to get good at talking to people through my job, but I used to get literal panic attacks before making phone calls. I still stutter from time to time, but only when I’m not focused (which is hard for me too lol). Also, therapy helps a lot for certain things, group therapy can be good too (also can be great for meeting new people).

      I sometimes compare life in general to an Elder Scrolls game in my mind. You start out with shit stats, maybe some bonus stats. And then you have to work on each of those things to get them to a decent level so you can fend for yourself. If I achieve something difficult, I sometimes imagine myself leveling up. Sounds, pop-ups, the whole thing. 😁

      Sorry for the wall of text btw, it happened so quickly lol.

    • ???@lemmy.worldOP
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      10 months ago

      No one at the bouldering gym? What country/state do you live in? I’ve been to two different bouldering gyms and got the impression that it’s one place where people happily help each other or discuss techniques or challenge each other to go up walls. This, however, is my experience in northern Europe in a city where this is a somewhat common sport to play.

      • Something Burger 🍔
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        10 months ago

        South of France. The gym is often crowded and people talk to each other, just not with me.

        • Glemek@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Are there other bouldering gyms around, you might tey a smaller more neighborhood sized gym? Where I live there are a few, and I can’t imagine making real friends at the big crowded ones, but I’m a little over a year in and have made lots of acquaintances at my smaller gym. Only have done something outside of the gym with one person though, and it was pretty low impact, just online gaming. It does feel like progress though.

          As for a “script” I basically just introduce myself after I’ve seen someone a few times regularly, (Hey, I’ve seen ypu around a bunch at the same times as me, I’m Glemek.) or if a conversation happened naturally. Which usually starts with an offer for advice on a problem they are working, or generally commiserating about a difficult problem.

          My gym can be crowded but usually is pretty sparse when I am there, but I basically just try to be friendly to everyone, be an encouraging presence at the gym, and see if there are people who would make sense to be potential outside the gym friends.