• NaibofTabr@infosec.pubEnglish
    30·
    23 days ago

    Men have been trained from birth that displaying any kind of emotional need is a sign of weakness that others will use against them.

    If a man does display this kind of vulnerability with you, it means:

    1. He is extremely stressed to the point where maintaining social norms is beyond his abilities at the moment.
    2. He trusts you in a way that can’t be expressed in words.
    3. Both.
    • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      15·
      22 days ago

      Women have been trained to see men this way too. I showed vulnerability to my ex one time, and her attitude changed overnight and she broke up with me not long after.

      • nocturne@slrpnk.netEnglish
        12·
        22 days ago

        This happened to me. My ex had our kid, and I was no longer the “hardened bad boy” but instead a loving caring father and my ex decided that she did not want that and left me.

  • nocturne@slrpnk.netEnglish
    15·
    22 days ago

    Very true, especially right now for me. I had to close my business (a local game shop) after 7 1/2 years. I loved it, I am not coping well.

      • nocturne@slrpnk.netEnglish
        6·
        22 days ago

        I am really missing my weekly TTRPG games. Two have totally derailed because no one can host now that my shop is gone. I found a place (bar at an abandoned haunted hotel) that we can use twice a month. Trying to get in more often so the other games can move there.

        I had also finally got a community for a small table top wargame going when I closed.

      • nocturne@slrpnk.netEnglish
        4·
        22 days ago

        Trying to go back to college to get my engineering degree, but I am almost 50 now and it kind of feels pointless.

  • Jax@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    12·
    23 days ago

    I’m more partial to laying my head in my girlfriends lap, but yeah the point is the same.

  • Dagnet@lemmy.worldEnglish
    11·
    22 days ago

    Just yesterday I talked to my cousin at a bakery and he broke down, saying how he felt like he had to keep “strong” even at home but his mom (my aunt) died just a month ago. Men are victims of sexism too, we all should work together

  • Defectus@lemmy.worldEnglish
    6·
    23 days ago

    I don’t think it’s a big deal. Neither do I adhere to many masculine norms. Have dated a woman now a couple of times, been on her shoulder and her on mine. Both feels great.

  • Taokan@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    6·
    22 days ago

    Men tend to shrug off the small stuff, but the big stuff … having a shoulder is the world. Death, work layoff, bad health diagnosis, etc … just because they don’t look for a shoulder every day, doesn’t mean it isn’t needed and appreciated when it’s time.

  • Professorozone@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    22 days ago

    Hugs are my favorite things in life. I have no silly macho compulsions to avoid asking. I’m more than happy to ask my wife for hugs and she has no problem providing them and vice versa.

  • k0e3@lemmy.caEnglish
    4·
    22 days ago

    Sometimes, I guess. But I need alone time more often than I need a shoulder.

    I just need the world to stfu and leave me alone for just 1 day out of a month to find inner peace.

  • fibojoly@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    4·
    22 days ago

    I prefer just laying down my head on her lap.
    Probably reminds me of when I was a kid and my granny would pet me while I waited for the cult in church to be over. So soothing.

  • Malyca@lemmy.zipEnglish
    2·
    22 days ago

    Yet the argument we often hear is that women expect you to be psychic. If you need something, ask. Both genders.