Basically the takeaway was:
“Fix your sleep schedule”
“Just go outside more”
“Stop being anxious, other people aren’t constantly thinking about you”
Also I get asked like “so what do you do at home?”
um… how should I answer this? “Oh I read online forums that has politically extreme memes?” (I mean that’s what half of Lemmy memes are…)
Or am I supposed to explain every youtube video I watched?
Idk how to even answer that…
My parents are paying the copays and I’m on parents insurance… honestly if I had to pay for this, I’d probably just sue them for funsies lmao… maybe if I win a medical malpractice lawsuit, the payout will cure my depression xD (okay probably not medical malpractice, but I felt like I was just wasting time so I really wanna just go sue them for fun lol)
I’m actually gonna die of “big sad” lmao
(My soul definitely died…)
LITERALLY listening to music feels more helpful than “therapy” or whatever… like 5th meet already… it feels equally weird in person and on video call… Like it just keeps getting more awkward each successive meet…
The “therapist” is white guy btw…
Dude was like “so do you feel like you have trouble acclimating to this country?”
And okay I know there’s no malicious intentions… but the way that was asked felt like what right winger would ask and then follow up with “so why not go back”…
Okay so maybe its just my paranoia… but that kinda triggered me… so the rest of the session… like 15 minutes of the remaining time I just felt like I had a PTSD event gone through my head…
How you did…
Like, therapy is talking, he’s still asking very basic questions on your fifth appointment, it sounds because you’re just not talking to him.
You’re young enough to be on parent insurance, which means COVID was during your school years, and you have no problem typing.
Try to find a therapist who will work with you over text. Work up to sitting in the same room and texting, eventually working up to more and more verbal sessions.
That’s basic exposure therapy to what sounds like social avoidance due to depression. And since you mentioned acclimating to a new country, it might just be easier for you to use your current language in text.
But the real point is:
You need to communicate how you can with a professional, just because you may like text more doesn’t mean strangers over text is better than licenced professionals.
This is literally the discussion you should have been having in your last session. If you just don’t jell with that one, find a new one. It’s not a big deal.