Saying the right pronouns and name is good and all, but that’s a behavior that can be learned. I’m always a little on guard for those who try to say the right thing to be polite, without actually accepting me.

Its the coworker, little more than an acquaintance, who held the washroom door. Its the coversation premised around an unstated assumption of shared experiences. Its those few notable lines that she would only say to another woman.

Its these things I find the most affirming. Its shows an internalized understanding of my gender. Its what I appreciate most.