Hey y’all, hope you’re having a good day! I was wondering if anyone here could chime in with some advice concerning gender-neutral names. The short form (and my nickname) of my current name is gender-neutral and I’m considering just sticking with it when transitioning. Alternatively I could pick a new, clearly feminine name and go with that one. For me, keeping the old name makes sense in the way that I personally see my transition more as a character development kinda thing instead of it being a “rebirth” like some people experience it. On the other hand, picking a new name would create a clearer sense of … femininity, I guess?
Anyway, before I keep on ranting, does anyone have any experience with this kind of thing or maybe any articles/links for me to read through? :)
When I first was considering changing my name, I had wished my given name was more gender neutral so I could just stick with it for awhile. I also felt like I should wait until I was at least semi passing before changing my name. So I felt like sticking with my given name until I was a lot further along on my journey made sense.
It wasn’t until I sat with my recent cracking and self discovery that I had a growing sense of being less “connected” to my given name. And my identity as a man in general. And especially those that called me by my given name. They were holding onto an idea of who I was that no longer was something I could be. So changing my name ending up being a firm starting point for my “official” coming out. As I told friends and family,I also gave them my new name. Of the woman inside me that I no longer could keep inside and needed to let free.
I’m still very new to transition at only 3 months since my egg cracked but I’ve socially changed my name to Olivia as it’s a nice reminder of my trajectory. And the more I hear it and use it, the more it feels right.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I used to feel like you but ended up realizing that the name change was really important to me and going by any version of my given name starting feeling worse and worse.
As long as going by your given name feels right to you, than do that! But pay attention to how it makes you feel when others refer to you as such. Does it feel right or does it feel out of sync?
The only right time for changing a name (or not at all) is the one you decide for yourself ❤️
Thanks for the insight! Waiting for my feelings to find their way about the whole name thing seems like a sensible thing to do. Currently, having a neutral name feels pretty good and is a small but fun part of challenging the binarity of gender, which might be enough of an incentive to keep using it. :D