Hi! I’m oNevia. I love gaming, design and music. Hit me up if you wanna chat.

She/Her

  • 27 Posts
  • 255 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: October 29th, 2023

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  • oNevia@lemmy.blahaj.zoneMtoTrans@lemmy.blahaj.zoneThe villain
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    2 months ago

    I think I really needed to read this post. Thank you so much.

    I’ve noticed this everywhere too and it breaks my heart. My wife has given up on finding support as the partner because the communities (even the super private ones) are full of this behavior of vilifying one or the other.

    I’m hoping my wife and I sit down with a counselor ourselves soon.

    All the love for you and your wife ❤️





  • Hi! Depends on where you live, but I live in the US and this is what I ended up doing.

    My Endo recommended a service called Legacy for storage. She told me most of her patients have gone with them and although none to date have withdrawn their samples yet, everyone has had positive experiences with the deposit.

    They’re an at home service, meaning they send you a kit in the mail. The kit included a cup for the sample, some mixing (think powdered cheese for microwavable Mac n cheese) to stabilize the sample and very strict instructions to make sure to have the sample dropped off or picked up by a mail carrier same day of producing the sample.

    I did two deposits about a week apart from each other. They analyzed both samples for viability, STDs and even how a small portion of the sample handled being frozen and then thawed.

    I even had the ability to use my true name in their system and the only place I needed to use my legal name was on the sample cup itself.

    They’re going to store my sperm for 5 years. And the entire process cost my wife and I $1200 for collection, analysis and storage. We pay monthly payments of $100 with no interest.

    Honestly very smooth process and I have no complaints.

    Let me know if you have follow up questions :)


  • Wow this really resonates with me. My friends have helped me get through fire and hell. Probably the hardest point in my life and having friends wasn’t really a thing for me until I started to transition. Who knew I was an extravert?

    But also you losing your discord server resonates with me as well as I recently had to leave a server where I connected with all of my close friends. It was the first home I had ever had that loved and accepted me as Olivia and I had to walk away for my own mental health.

    Well Téa, it’s nice to meet you and I’m happy to hear you’re able to be your true self with your friends! Hold them close because it sounds like they can help you get through anything ❤️



  • Proud of you dude! Seriously. Like I said waaaaaay back when we first met, you are the definition of what a good man is. Happy to know the changes you are experiencing have been pushing you in the right direction.

    And I feel a lot of the same sentiments about my journey just in the opposite direction :3

    It warms my heart to hear you are doing well and transition has been so helpful for you.

    Especially with self image ❤️ as you know, I take a lot of selfies now 🤦🏻‍♀️ when I was so adverse to them before. And seeing photos of the person I was before, there isn’t a single thing I recognize in him except for complete despair in his eyes. Now I’m full of life and so happy to be sharing this journey with my friends like you :)


  • Couldn’t agree more with you on this point. I have worries as I think many of us do that this wasn’t actually right for me and I’ve permanently altered my body in a way that is def not gender conforming (aka I have boobs now)

    But when I take a step back and think of how I felt before, and how I feel now. It’s so contest. I found self love after searching for 30 years because of transitioning, especially medically.

    It’s cliche to say at this point, but HRT saved my life and now I can enjoy my moments with my son ❤️





  • It’s really fucking hard and seems to be person dependent. For me, self care helps a great deal. Trying to be as put together as I can helps me feel like there is less for me to focus on and nitpick.

    I can’t go into a weird dysphoria spiral because I haven’t shaved my face in a few days if I shaved last night for example.

    Finding friends and staying in touch with them has been very important for me. Especially those that don’t fall into the codependent habits I’ve always been susceptible to. I’ve learned what healthier boundaries look like just by having friends that naturally have them in place and being open to why they have them in place.

    Therapy is also a huge one. I’ve learned that I need to prioritize my own health and happiness above others. Something I would always neglect until I was past burnt out and in the more serious side of despair.

    And finally, learning to stop comparing myself to how I want to be. Learning to be happy with where I am right now on my journey vs why I’m not where I want to be.

    It’s a long difficult journey, and I had to do each bit in steps. I’m still not where I’d like to be (but not upset with myself for not being there yet 😉) and have learned that everything in life is a journey or transition. Have to embrace it a day at a time the best you can and don’t beat yourself up for having bad days/weeks/months/years

    Good luck ❤️