“top leader of the free world”

Yeah. We are currently hating on foreigners real hard again and want to introduce storage of IP connections for three months for everyone without reason. We are so free, that you can’t even change your name without psychological assessment. Even then it’s up to the arbitrariness of the clerk. And even then you are tightly restricted in how you can change it. We enjoy such freedom, that you have to wait 6 months or longer for specialist medical care (if you are not dying right now). But we are free to pay using private insurance, which instantly levels us up to superior class citizens. Much less of a hassle then, if you can afford it. We are so free that you can easily sacrifice most of your money just to get a somewhat minimal amount of living space for rent. Well, to be fair, this depends on your income class.
This is especially free, if you have difficulties climbing up the income class, because you can’t get the medical attention you need to fix some stuff. Then you are free to revel in your freedom while not getting forward in your free life.
And don’t mind those pesky little migrants again, who are free to stay dumb, because we allow ourselves the freedom to not integrate and support them properly.
You see, freedom in Germany is often just a question of personal wealth. If you’ve got enough money, you’ve got a lot more freedom.
Our freedom is also reflected in the world press freedom index which has worsened in the past years from “good” to “satisfactory”. When we vote for a political party that represents our opinions and interests best, there is a chance that this vote will be canceled out in the final election results, if that party doesn’t get at least 5% of overall votes. Such votes go directly to waste. Isn’t that great freedom of political choice?
Let’s talk about freedom of movement: If you’re not a superior class citizen (somewhat wealthy) good luck getting around without a car. Especially in rural areas. Pack a good book and plenty of water. Oh, and I hope you don’t mind close personal contact to various strangers on a daily basis, because our public transport infrastructure takes it’s time and is overloaded with freedom.
Also our politicians are very free in what they can do and how they can treat us. One guy, a chancellor nonetheless, used his freedom of thought to forget everything about an extremely severe financial scandal he was involved in (Cum-Ex, Scholz), another one enjoys his freedom after generously supporting a mask company using many many tax euros (during the Covid pandemic) based on a personal recommendation from party members (Maskenaffäre, Spahn), and then, politicians are also free to use the police as their personal intimidation tool when they have hurty hurt feelings after being called a dick (Andi ist 1 Pimmel). But I mean, that all makes sense. If we think of further cases like Nestlé-Klöckner, or Amthor-stocks, those people just want to ensure and expand their freedom.

Ah… I could go on and on about it and tell you about the many facets of freedom we enjoy in Germany. But that’s enough for now. I need to get going to enjoy my freedom.

Okay, to be even more fair, compared to the United States of Idiots, Germany is pretty cool. Also compared to a lot of other countries probably. But saying it is a “top leader of the free world” makes me scoff.