I have a nearly 4 year old neutered female cat. I have been thinking about adopting another cat, but I fear they won’t get along. Current cat is not really social, rarely likes being touched, instead requires attention: playtime, being near (but far enough), etc.
What are your experiences with second cats? Are there age / gender combinations which are the safest?
Edit: thanks for all the replies! Forgot to mention that she is an indoor cat.
So one of the important things to remember is a cat does not require social contact with other cats to be happy and healthy.
Another is the time it takes to get them accustomed to one another: it involves keeping the new cat in a seperate room, and allowing them to smell each other through the door without seeing each other. Gradually you increase contact, every 1-2 weeks, and then swap the new cat into another room, so current cat can smell the original properly. Feliway Friends can help with this, as it’s a synthetic Appeasement pheromone (the one cats release when they headbutt their siblings and mother). Feliway Friends is best used before adopting the new cat and during the entire time they are getting accustomed.
It’s important to remember that your current cat may not ever warm up to the new cat. As she has been a single cat household this whole time, she may not ever be comfortable. Not saying it can’t happen, I had four cats at once (many years ago) and while they weren’t ‘friends’, they didn’t fight or anything.
Your current cat may just see you as her family, and therefore would not take kindly to another cat encroaching on her ‘territory’. You would also need seperate food and water bowls, and litter trays, for each so as to limit resource guarding and aggression.
I’ve wanted a second cat, but I also know my current cat just isn’t into other cats. He loves people, but really doesn’t care for other cats. So for me, it isn’t a good idea to stress him out by introducing another cat into his territory.
As I said, don’t take this as a 'dont ever get a second cat!" But more as a ‘these are things to consider before doing so’. :)
Apologies for the text wall, and there are always exceptions! There are cats who love being around other cats, so it’s hard to know truly how your puss would react! I’m just really passionate about cats and cat behaviour and science, so just imparting what I know :)
Edit: I will add, that generally female cats form bonds with other female cats easier, than males! Males are generally kicked out of the bevy when they reach sexual maturity (herd of cats), and if resources are plentiful the females will stick together. So it may work out for your cat if you adopt a female kitten (spayed ofc! Spayed cats are healthier in general!!!)
Not OP but I wanted to thank you for the quality of your comment. It’s insightful, seems comprehensive and pragmatic.
We are lucky to have knowledgeable lemmynautes sharing what looks like very good advice on this topic.
I’m also considering taking a second indoor cat so I’m grateful I could read a detailed and well thought out post on this.
I personally have a female cat but I feel a bit bad she could feel lonely or “bored” during my absence when I’m at work. I’m probably projecting human feeling on my cat but I still think she would appreciate a cat friend to play with when I can’t do so. Also my cat has always been very scared of humans (except me that she completely feels safe with). Which means that essentially she will hide for hours if any other human being visits me. My probably naive idea was that she would gain trust when she sees another cat much less afraid of humans and accept the fact that most humans are not a threat. Obviously this is not the main reason that motivates me to get another cat. But it will certainly be more comfortable for my cat to feel less threaten by any human visiting my place. And as a bonus I would also get another furry friend :)
I will continue to ponder that decision for a few months anyway but I’m really appreciative of your comment and the great insights on a complicated question.
No worries at all! I’ve always been a cat person, from when I was a kid to my now early 30s, so it’s something I’m very passionate about haha!
I’m also doing my Cert III in Animal Care Services, looking to move into either Vet Nursing or Animal Tech, so it’s also in part due to my coursework lol!
It is hard when one has a single cat, and we have to go to work; we always worry whether they’re sad or upset with us. But also, it’s important to look at it from a cat behaviour perspective: many many single cats are perfectly content being alone as they often sleep during the day anyway. They’re crepuscular, so they’re more active during dawn and dusk (for hunting/predation purposes), and are less ‘domesticated’ than dogs. Ancient humans relied on dogs to help with hunting and companionship, so they have been bred over thousands of years to meet those specific needs. Cats, while we have had them around us since the Fertile Crescent, haven’t been bred as much for specific needs, because their natural behaviour was enough to keep mice and rats away from our food storage and silos!
Cats love human companionship however, just in their own natural way! They enjoy the benefits of scritches and a warm lap, never having to worry about food, we take care of their health and development - so they live longer and happier lives with us. It also helps to look into how a cat expresses love for us, as it is very different to dogs! Cats will slow blink at you to tell you “I love you and trust you” and you can do the same to them! They will often seek out your company, just happy to be in the same room, on your desk, all up in your hobbies (sewing is chaos!) because they love you and trust you! They will sit on your lap or in contact with you because consensual touch is their way of saying “this human is awesome and is mine and I love them”. Rubbing their face on you, or their bum on you, is then marking you as theirs, as part of their family.
Jackson Galaxy and The Kitten Lady on YT have so many great videos on cat behaviour, advising how to interpret those behaviours so as to better understand them. Highly recommend those for more in depth information!
It’s human nature to wonder if our cats are lonely when we’re not there, but honestly, the vast majority of the time the cats are happy being a single cat! They see you as their family, their bevy (herd), as their provider and source of comfort. Introducing a new cat can work out for sure, but often it just causes distress because a new cat is encroaching on their territory; territory and ownership is important for cats.
So do research more, don’t just take this students word for any of this. There are always exceptions and many success stories! I’d never ever say “don’t introduce new cats to an established cat!” But only to do research and come up with a plan on how you’re going to do the introductions!
And of course, female cats are just better at accepting other female cats and male/female kittens! Male cats are generally more solitary, and often happiest when their humans are their own :)
Regarding cats being afraid of other humans (like your friends/family visiting), that’s pretty normal and standard tbh. They know and love you, but don’t know who those other humans are. A good way to help your cat in those circumstances is to find out what it values (as in, is your cat extremely food-motivated or play-motivated) and have the new human attempt interaction using that. So give the new human either the cats fav toy or high-value treat, and attempt to call the cat over. It also helps to stand sideways to the cat, as that is way less threatening, or sideways crouched. It can take time, but with patience and consistency, your cat may see that new human as not a threat but a source of treats and play!