That hiding candy (or other things people wanted) was a universal property of grandmothers.

English is not my first language, but I had heard the expression “search all nooks and crannies”, but thought the last word was grannies - cranny is an unusual word.

Now,my own grandmother was in the habit of hiding candy for us to find. I thought the expression existed because all grannies hid things. Search all nooks and grannies!

The ‘H’ signs to indicate a hospital was indicating there was a helicopter pad.

That cats and dogs were the same animal, the cats were the girls and the dogs were the boys

My grandmother told me England was not part of the European continent. I got an answer wrong on a test because of that. She refused admit she was wrong even after I showed her in my text book.

I believed I was an adopted alien from outer space before I realised my face is like my father’s but prettier.

There’s a highway that formed a loop around the city where I grew up and we used it pretty regularly, but mostly only the western half (since we lived on the west side of town). My parents explained the concept to me that it had “belt” in its name because it circled around the city like a belt goes around a person. This idea intrigued me and I eventually asked my parents if someday we could drive all the way around it. My dad seemed kind of surprised but said we could sometime. I got excited and started planning for things we would need, like a tent and food, since it would obviously take a long time.

The highway’s only about 25 miles/40 kilometers long.

That tv programming would pause when I turned the TV off.

Premises:

1. My family watches the news for [weather] and [ye local murder].
2. My friend says: his dad says: “the news lies.”
3. Parents are trustworthy, and cops can’t lie to the news.

Conclusion:

They lie about the WEATHER!?

I ran up to my mom once, completely serious and said, “Mom! I know why all fat people are short. They use up all their skin!”

I felt like a genius until she laughed so hard she fell on the floor and peed a little.

that my grandparents remembered middle ages or even the dinosaurs

When I was little, I thought that “cash back” meant that the clerk literally just handed you money out of the register if you wanted it.

I assumed that most people were honest and only took the cash if they needed it. I didn’t know that it came out of your checking account lol.

Can I’ll cheat a little and use my teen years.
When let’s plays where the new hot thing, I thought a blind let’s play literally meant, eyes closed

I scraped my knee and thought that putting skin-coloured paint on it would heal it

That a blowjob involved the act of physically blowing air on the penis. When I found out it actually involved sucking, I was like, “Oooh…yeah that sounds much more pleasurable.”