Yeah, no point watching if you can’t absorb it in a meaningful way.

I’m so desensitized it almost feels academic.

Maybe I’m a coward who emotionally deflect reality, as if watching a strange object.

At least you choose to either see reality in the eye or to deflect your gaze, perhaps a more honest approach.

Well, we do all this reflexively anyway. So there might not be much of a point to dwell on it, sorry for getting philosophical on you.