Bedbugs are pretty easy to spot. While yes, they’re very good at hiding, they don’t really make it into those hiding spots until the easy spots are overpopulated. Sure, someone could have an infestation and could be vacuuming the easy spots weekly, but I doubt someone would clean their marks excessively without also addressing the problem. Sure, maybe this comment was a joke, maybe you’re serious, but either way, I accidentally became very fucking knowledgeable on bed bugs and what I’ve found ever since then is that people don’t actually know anything about bed bugs. Here I am. Of note, they’re not common near me, probably due to a mix of economic wealth and cold winters preventing outdoor survival.

If you can read text on your phone at the stock zoom level, you can see bed bugs because the adults are almost 1/4" long. Young bugs are pretty small, but you don’t get babies without adults and eggs. Eggs look like white/beige grains of salt stuck to edges. Their feces are brown or black (sometimes red) and look like what a fine-tip marker or thick pen would leave on paper. Individually, hard to see. Realistically, you’ll see clusters. They’ll hide in both crevices close to dormant humans (sheet seams, couch cracks) and higher places in shadow where they can see humans (picture frame edges, headboard corners). They live a long time. Even without feeding, they can survive a year.

There are currently a few pesticides with great results such ass Crossfire. They are certainly becoming resistant, but the more we eradicate wholly in a place, the less we have to worry - just like taking the full prescription of an antibiotic. If you do catch them, you’ll need to be very thorough. Bag your clothes and work through them. Pesticides have a residual effect, but the better you handle the ones you can find, the faster you can end the nightmare.

To wrap it up, just peel back the cushions of that furniture. If you don’t see stains in the easy-to-use but hard-to-clean cracks, you’re probably fine. No one I know has ever had them in dorms, just travel through hostels.

-Franz Kafka, or something