I’ve been playing Tomb Raider since I was 7. First TR2, then TR3, and TR4. Lara Croft led me by the hand through middle school. It took years of watching her wiggle her butt in cramped spaces for the spell to take effect. By the time I entered high school, the vicious kuffars at Core Design had a hold of me : I was certain I was a murderous bourgeois british girl loosely based on Indiana Jones. I even asked my mom to make me a costume, complete with foam guns.

Then I started playing Crash Bandicoot …