I’m sure there’s so many more posts like this on the comm. But honestly I am just so tired of having to defend Islam to my non Muslim friends. I’m defending a religion that even I’m questioning. (My friends aren’t bad people and they’re also not judgemental their questions come from what they see in the media and genuine curiosity)

I was asked today “aren’t men allowed to have 4 wives in Islam what would u do if ur husband wanted a second wife”. I searched it up online to find the man wouldn’t even need my permission to get a second wife. What am I even trying to defend here. It’s genuinely embarrassing to align myself with views like this. And apparently I’m never going to be allowed to travel alone, and forever obey my husband. I to just forever live the shadow of a man.

And i know this is haram but I’ve had a boyfriend. I broke up with him because of religion. He didn’t follow an abrahamic faith at all. But he was everything I could’ve asked for. He was kind, thoughtful, romantic. And not to generalize but the vast majority of Muslim men I’ve met have been so toxic mixing up culture and religion . They expect their wife to basically be their mom. Theyve had dated in the past but expect their wife to be “pure”. And yeah I know this part is culture but whys it so widely accepted. Whys it fine for them But not for me. And it’s also hard for me differentiate Islam from culture. But at the end of the day the religion itself has so many core patriarchal values too although culture has taken them and blown them up to be so out of proportion.

I feel so guilty as I’m constantly sinning. But why does everything feel so unfair