The idea of ‘passing’ or acting in a specific way is not only unfairly limiting but also dangerous for ourselves and others.

I’m not concerned about looking a certain way as much as, if this makes any sense, being in communion with the eternal essence of womanhood, the platonic form, if you will. I feel severed from this, like I was damned to be a male; all that’s left is this desperate longing. Dressing “as a woman”, or bullying people into pretending I’m a woman can’t begin to satisfy it.

there’s no such thing as a ‘real girl’

I guess we (might?) differ in that I believe there is some sort of “absolute” womanhood (and it presents in infinitely many ways); I just feel disconnected from it.

Or would you feel happy having people accept you as a woman who happens to be trans?

I live in what’s nominally a very liberal area but in my experience from when I first transitioned any “acceptance” felt either performative (e.g. “I’m such a good person for playing along with your delusion”) or coerced (e.g. “I have to respect your ““gender identity”” or I might get fired”).

But I guess the core of it is that I don’t see myself as valid. I’m not a girl because I’m not a girl. I certainly should have been born a girl, and I wish I was a girl, but if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.