The past few days, this person has been volatile with delirious violence. This includes hours-long sessions of him refusing to leave my personal space with abusive speech & occasional violence. He’s swung at my head with a fist a couple times and missed, and also struck me in the back of the head. I don’t engage with the angry speech; am intolerant of & displeased by this molestation.
Sometimes Coyote gives me a sound (via manovijñāna), then has me find the word/phrase that matches the sound - I think this is what’s happening.
Thank you for apologizing.
The message I shared in this Buddhist community is true, factual, & timely. Reading & discussing suttas is a Buddhist practice, including outside temples. I’m an anāgāmi & bodhisattva - please don’t assume this isn’t the case, and please don’t hate me for declaring this.
By ‘refuge in Saṅgha’, I mean āryasaṅgha - those who have attained full enlightenment or at least the first stage of enlightenment.
What basis are you saying I should go to azbuddhisttemple.org for help?
The tone is dismissive, though I’ll try giving sincere responses and address what you’re saying.
In Buddhism, we take refuge in the Triple Gem. That is, the Buddha, Dharma, & Saṅgha. It can be said the Triple Gem already functions as police - the Buddha is the chief, Dharma the law, Saṅgha those who uphold the law under the Buddha. The police already have been called by others during past assaults. They saw no issue when my apartment was broken into and I was assaulted, and contributed to the attacks themselves. I don’t view them as protectors, and it’s an affront being recommended to. I’m satisfied with refuge under the Triple Gem. I’ve just finished reading the Mahāvagga yesterday, and was surprised how much of the information directly addressed & aided my present context. I can pray to Avalokiteshvara whenever, which the Lotus Sūtra explains as ample protection.
People have been helping me on Lemmy. Even just small moral support can be like the small handhold needed to complete a rock climb. I think there’s an aversion to generosity that can be toxic, and gets encouraged by non-Buddhist traditions. Karma guarantees that generous intentions give merit to the giver that will return pleasant results (in the present and/or future). It’s more guaranteed than even money. May this view help in understanding how e.g. requesting & giving alms can be wholesome/skillful.
Pity isn’t inherently wrong. The word ‘pity’ is rooted in ‘piety’, with senses like ‘dutiful’, ‘holy’ ‘conscientious’, & ‘love’. I wrote the line “Piatus religious” in a recent poem, which alludes to this etymology. I put a lot of sincere contemplation into my writing; if anyone doubts this, I’m willing to explain a word or line in a poem.
I think some of what you’re saying is also over-ly totalistic - framing things as an all-or-nothing extremes, when the truth isn’t so.
When I was visibly homeless, I was invited by a Navajo man to visit his place on the Navajo reservation. There have been beings dependent on me staying where I am for survival - and moreso there’s basically guaranteed to be a mass-killing if I leave. Otherwise, it’s also been the case that there hasn’t been a place to sleep that isn’t against the rules, and this is being enforced by violence. As of now, the only option for me to sleep & survive is to try migrating elsewhere - to the Navajo reservation, though wandering to Buddhist monasteries/etc. along the way & maybe after. Having police in family - and based on past experience - I would continue expecting unwanted monitoring & unwanted intervention by police and likely family too, even if I’m in the Navajo reservation.
Leaving also doesn’t get to the root of the issue, which is cultural & quite widespread. I don’t see conditions for a civil, genuine, open discussion on sexual conduct. I think racial delusion, hatred, & arrogance is a blocking issue here.
I expect this to be unbeneficial.
I’m still gaslight, verbally abused, censored, & assaulted for having been sexually molested. Being gaslight, verbally abused, & censored, assaulted is very common for me. Police permit & contribute to it too.
Deliberate violence is used to prevent me from sleeping on a regular basis recently.
The thought hence occurred I could request for a commitment on 50% of the laptop from within family, which would be sufficient to avoid leaving today; this way, e.g. the living space qua animal refuge might be preserved. This request was agreed to, so I’m postponing both the walking/wandering tour & the close-reading.
One example is, the “cookies” on the table are the French dessert ‘dacquoise’, which juxtaposes the color turquoise.
I should say, per vow of honesty, that this is based on a recent dream.
I was assaulted again twice more just now, hit in the head both times. Also, food was thrown out again that I had prepared.
Update - one more assault.
Bahanna culture is married to genocidal conquest and exploiting others to maximize relative power of self. It mass-exterminates, gaslights, forcibly subjugates. It needs to abandon these traits. Even just paying taxes contributes toward mass-extermination. Antidotes include compassion, generosity, & honesty. I think faith in karmic merit can help detach from obviously corrupt economics.
There’s exactly two known cases of possible exposure, both over two years ago. The first was when handcuffs were applied too tightly, and it caused bleeding and got infected; the second was getting poked by a needle when trying to clear out an area to sleep in nature. I took a test around two years ago, then one last week. My personal experience is that wildlife is more civil & rational than industrialized civilization.
The assaulter spit in the food while I was cooking, and is standing behind me again speaking angrily at me. A couple of days ago, he also threw food out the door I was cooking.
The assaulter nonconsensually goes through my laptop and looks through private conversations.
I was assaulted several times this morning, including without clothes on, preventing me from putting clothes on for several minutes.
I was assaulted again several times today, including struck in the head with a metal pot & punched in the back of the head.
This person punched me in the head again this morning in anger.