If you’re comfortable in your skin, don’t worry too much about it. But looking further into autistic communities and their struggles and solutions can still help you see issues you weren’t aware of or find coping mechanisms for things you didn’t realize could be easier.

Worth pursueing a diagnosis? Probably not.worth looking into? I’d say yes. But go with your gut :)

Yay, more Konsi!

hugs well, now you know: you’re not lazy, this is your brain working against you. I found bribing myself with something I enjoy after I did one thing I don’t helps. It’s like giving my stubborn brainchild a lolli :)

Not the person you asked, but I always felt guilty for “claiming” a diagnosis, long after it was official. What if the doc was wrong? What if I’m just too lazy and need to get my shit together? Surely I’m just looking for excuses, because that’s what had been drilled into my head for over 30 years: I can’t be that exhausted, I’m just trying to get out of doing what I’m supposed to.

It’s a weird thing to use the word imposter syndrome on a diagnosis, but that’s exactly what it felt like. I don’t deserve a valid “excuse”. I am conning everyone into cutting me some slack when I’m really just lazy. Took me years of therapy - and, honestly, a job where they tell me I’m doing a lot and supporting my team, even though I still feel like I don’t do anything. The brainwashing is strong when you’re late-diagnosed :(

I’m grateful for my adult diagnosis (at age 35) because all of a sudden things made sense. I wasn’t being lazy - people liked to call me that, because on a good day with a topic that interests me I will outperform most people. The logical conclusion was if I can do it once, i can do it all the time, and when my performance is subpar it must be because I’m lazy.

The diagnosis has become my shield and armor. I’m not lazy, my brain just refuses to engage on things that do not interest me. There’s no way I’ll ever get economics, and it’s not because I’m lazy.

It helped me be kind to myself and adjust my plans and choices to my nourology. I may be shitty at economics and in being tactful with people, but I’m a great softwaretester, because I do care about people and want to help avoid making people cranky with dumb mistakes in software. The helpless rage I get from a piece of malfunctioning software is something I want to minimize.

Instead of struggling I enjoy my work now, and having a diagnosis allows me to communicate to people what to expect. I can’t read between the lines - if you want me to do A, tell me so. Don’t mention to me that B and C need someone that needs doing, because I may or may not get you want me to do that - but I sure as hell won’t get that you also want me to do A, even if it is a prerequisite.

I’m able to say that I work better with a dark, quiet place, so please don’t seat me next to the person who has meetings all day. I can probably work without these accomodations, but I’ll be miserable and my work quality will be poor.

Coming back to your question: you don’t need a diagnosis per se. I know people that I suspect are autistic but they would probably feel worse knowing it. But what I think you should do is read up on autism like crazy. For your kid, but also for yourself. Read accounts from autistic people, look for autistic spaces. There’s plenty of organizations that care for profit and not for actually helping autistic people.

What you will gain is insight into how autistics manage life, what helps them, and youecaneuse that knowledge to help your kid and maybe even find ways to improve your environment. Even if you feel well-adjusted, maybe understanding why something works for you and how youecan make it better can help.

The benefit in the diagnosis for me was understanding myself and the ability to adjust my environment to my needs. For me, the diagnosis is incredibly helpful, but for you and your unique situation, it may not. I heard from people in other places that an official diagnosis has negative legal effects on them. Go research, take away what you need, and once you digested the idea and feel you understand more about it ask yourself again if a diagnosis could benefit you.

You’ve lived so long without, a year or two probably won’t make a difference. If anything, hopefully more doctors are aware of autism and able to successfully diagnose you.

Like liquorice, the really intense one (salmiak). i don’t think English has a word for it, since it was not recognized as a flavor before.

The thing is, I know the flavor but wouldn’t know how to describe it to someone who doesn’t. Asian (Korean and Chinese, to be precise) friends told me it tasted like medicine to them, because apparently it’s a common flavor in traditional medicine for them?

Edited for typos.

The easiest way is to say “this is the rules as written, deal with it, we don’t do homebrew here” for me. The people I met in game spaces where not the type to reach a consensus quickly. I guess I’ve just been unlucky.

I envy you for having those kinds of people to play with!

You are just bringing examples where insecure people who struggle with social skills (hi, nice to meet you) would not be able to handle it.

You kinda completely blazed past my point while confirming it. Clearly for you rules light is great. I’m trying to tell you there’s people who are not you and who need more rules to even dare to try.

Neiter you nor the person you’re replying to is wrong, but the way I see it you’re coming from different angles.

You’re coming from the view of an experienced GM, while the person before you worries about people getting in the game or struggle with their social skills.

Imho, both ruleset have their place and everything depends on the group, what they want, what their personalities are and how experienced they are.

I would never run a table because I don’t think I could handle it if one of the players got combative, and that danger is higher when you go rules light I would guess.

I’m insulted how little effort the author put into supporting his thesis.

“Streber” in German is a common insult if you’re good in school, and it often meant social death in class. Sure, geek and nerd have become commonplace and are used as German words now, but that’s also because if you are one your English is good enough and it’s just easier to use the short word from another language that pretty much all geeks and nerds use than to use the German one.

It has actually not really the negative connotation that the English word has, it feels more like a name for a subculture, like goth.

The stairs of ascension to experienced DM are being made out of dead PCs? X)

If you are concerned about environment, maybe look for companies that make software for public transport. DB Systems, Init Group, PTVgroup are some companies of the top of my head. DB Systems is not the best working climate (or at least used to be, I had someone close to me work there and they hated it a few years ago).

My understanding of that article was that it was not necessarily about duplicated code, but duplicated data. If you have two places storing the same data, and different parts of your app go to each of it, you need to somehow keep them in sync, and that’s often a pain.

I’m trying to be very rigorous about avoiding that, duplicated code I’m a bit less rigorous about.

That’s the official version, but at least when I talk about some average dude it’s way too long and artificial, I don’t think the name Mustermann actually exists.

When I think of the most common name to use in casual conversation, I’d probably go for Müller (maybe Peter? Though the first name is probably heavily generation-dependent).

In older publication you may alse find references to “der deutsche Michel” (the german Michel, short for Michael) as a somewhat condescending reference to the average citizen who is very hesitant to adopt new concepts and tech and not always able or willing to understand complex concepts. Often used to remark that a product/idea will not have a chance on the market because “der deutsche Michel” doesn’t see the pointor would never pick it up.

Haven’t seen that in a while though, I guess Germans have become more open to new stuff :)

I’m not American, but I born and bred in the EU. Please don’t assume wildly :)

I still view it as a value issue: you are looking out for your own good above contributing to society. If everyone does that, it will be utterly impossible for society to actually give back, because you’re depriving society of the taxes it needs to move.

I’d rather contribute to society and the social security net we have. Any society will have people who are unable to work due to disability or sickness, and to me taking care of your weak links is a mark of civilization. We don’t have to leave disabled or injured members of society in the dust to die. We have the means to take care of them, and that’s what taxes are for.

But we kind of lost track of the original question, why the wages are lower in the EU than in the US. In my opinion it’s because with all the social security and insurance it is not necessary and the environment - the society - is providing part of what you get in monetary form in the US.

I guess it’s a difference in values, which affects your perspective. You can see it as robbing, or as contributing to society.

I’m trying to word it as neutral as possible, but it’s really hard in the values area. I think both sets of values are valid. I may not agree with yours, but that’s the thing with moral values - if you don’t share the same values, you will never see eye to eye or agree. Hard to be objective in such a situation.

Tl,dr: you value different things, which is not evil or bad, but completely valid. It’s just that I personally with my values don’t agree and see it negatively.

Maybe there already lies another reason for the lower salaries - if you are from a country which traditionally had your company actually appreciate their employees and make them feel valued, and historically you just had to land your job and could expect to stay with the company the rest of your life, you will not be actively looking unless you get laid off. Loyalty on both sides is still quite common where I live.

Social security. Strong protection against lay-offs. University without paying upfront - just because you don’t care for it as someone who didn’t grow up here, doesn’t mean it’s not a benefit for the majority. Healthcare at affordable prices. Public transport.

The thing is, you only see your own benefit. And I feel that’s a very typical way of looking at life in the US. The state is not here to rob you, but to provide you with a structure to live in that you couldn’t have in the same way on your own. Public transport may not be something you need, but what about the elderly? What about the people who can’t drive for whatever reason?

What if you have an accident that renders you unable to work? It doesn’t even need to be your fault. Someone might loose control over their car and you might get hit. People like that need strong social nets, and people who can work finance them. Elderly people need those. They are often sick (high health care costs) and not longer able to drive (public transport) and if their pension is not enough, the social security kicks in and supports them.

You personally may not be profiting from it right now, but there’s a ton of security built into the system for everyone that gets financed by everyone according to their means.

Isn’t the question rather “why do US companies do that” when they could get away with paying less?

I can only speak for myself but I’m not keen on constantly job-hunting like I see so many US engineer advise. I’m looking for a more stable situation where the company seeks to hire long-term, and often in those cases you get benefits that are not monetary. Free access to partnered places like fitness studios or swimming pools can’t really be rolled into your salary, but if you use those often you end up with a financial benefit too. Automatical raises when your child is born is another.

Maybe it’s just a different culture, but I’ll trade in some base salary for a work environment based on mutual trust and goodwill.