• 5 Posts
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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: April 14th, 2025

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  • Active listening and being a good communicator. After a lot of negative experiences, if I ever start noticing any of the “Four Horsemen” in an early stage of dating and they don’t see the problem, I’ve learned it’s best to just end things before you’re stuck in either an abusive relationship or one where you’re always viciously fighting. After the honeymoon phase ends, sometimes someone gets tired and respond poorly to things, which isn’t perfect but no relationship is perfect, but I think being consistently berated or stonewalled in a long-term relationship is a relationsip-ending red flag too.

    My partner and I, after three years at least, communicate really effectively, I feel, where we start from a point of working together to solve a problem, and it’s such a breath of fresh air.






  • So, I get that Leolines is all made by one person, and she’s doing us all a really great service, but I was disappointed by the quality after buying four and having the threads give out for three in the span of a few months. I’m still a novice steamstress, but I feel like splitting the most vulnerable point of the garment into two pieces of fabric (right where the tuck is) might be a design flaw.

    Overall, I personally prefer TomboyX. The stitching method is better and has stood the test of time for me. And PAKA Apparel undies actually tuck surprisingly well too, despite not being made for trans women.


  • My community is lucky to have a local grocery store, and it’s a co-op, so I’m very loyal to it.

    Otherwise, it’s hard to be a loyal customers when so many brands change for the worse. I did get a “Hey, I use their soap!” moment after seeing Dr. Bronner’s post about Pride and link to multiple pro-trans organizations they donate too, especially after so many brands have backed out this year. That was nice.


  • In my late 20s, my metabolism has left the building, and I got my first and hopefully only vericose vein.

    I still work at the entry-level job I got out of college where my wages are starting not to cut it, and I haven’t gotten a raise in three years. Also starting to think about how I’ll retire and whether I’ll ever own a home.

    It’s a bit harder to make friends now, and my existing social circles are starting to drift apart as people move, get married, or have kids.

    I’m noticing that I haven’t completed nearly as many of the personal aspirations I thought I would have marked off by now.


  • The way I try to understand it is, how would Western women feel if there was a big push to make makeup illegal? On the grounds that some feminists believe it reinforces patriarchal expectations of women.

    But other women, including feminists, like wearing makeup and don’t wear it for men. I wouldn’t want others to tell me on my behalf what I should and shouldn’t wear, so we shouldn’t do the same to others.

    And when you look at it that way, I think a good deal of the real sentiment is just discomfort with some women wearing different cultural attire.


  • It’s frustrating. It feels like even progressive men here (not all, but many) aren’t willing to listen, while making it all about them. And because of the vast male majority, it feels like most threads on womens’ issues consist of off-topic defensive comments. I don’t recommend Lemmy to women either.

    That being said, you’re all worth it. Reddit as a whole isn’t what it once was. And womens’ Reddit communities tend to have lots of people, which can sometimes lead to negative spiraling when bad things happen. I get it, but it would make my mental health worse.

    On Lemmy, it’s a small, friendly space much like the old internet. I recognize a lot of the same folks on these communities. We uplift each other.

    Lots of people here can very hostile about us being here, but we’re making this place a little friendlier and more inclusive, and I’m glad we’re all here. We’ve got each other’s backs.





  • MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoWitches VS Patriarchy@lemmy.caGood comeback
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    7 days ago

    Something one or multiple people merely think does not reveal any underlying truths. To try to find evidence, one might start from an observation and test a hypothesis. Comedians and pop culture as a whole might mirror society’s ideological mores in some ways, but that alone isn’t sufficient evidence that women are disproportionately intellectually dishonest or inferior.



  • MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoWitches VS Patriarchy@lemmy.caGood comeback
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    7 days ago

    Debate? What debate? I thought this was just a hypothetical situtation casually talking about bands, which turns into something condescending. That’s not really a debate situation. Why must we treat it as a Socratic dialogue or a legal proceeding?

    But that nonsequitur sure is a sweeping generalization about how you feel about about women debaters. Ironic considering you stated you don’t like sweeping generalizations, real or imagined, in your other comment.



  • MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoWitches VS Patriarchy@lemmy.caGood comeback
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    7 days ago

    This was disappointing to read. This post was talking about a specific type of person that was not you, it was not about “how all older white men are the enemy,” and you took it personally. When someone gently told you that you weren’t being targeted, you doubled down and got even more defensive.

    I’m sorry, but no one was making sweeping generalizations. We’re talking about a very specific situation that was never stated to be all men.

    I don’t understand how your feelings are hurt by a post that had nothing at all to do with you. Judging from your comment, you were never one of the bad ones this post was calling out. It’ll be okay. And there may be other situations where it makes sense to talk about blanket distrust of men that might make life harder for genuinely good guys, though it’s not relevant in this post specifically.

    But do you understand how offensive it comes off to equate MAGA Nazis on the same level as mens’ feelings being hurt? The rule of law is being ignored, people are being disappeared, we’re moving closer to Gilead, and the Lemkin Institute issued a genocide warning regarding MAGA blood libel and trans people. How are hurt feelings in any way comparable?

    I wish we could have one post in a woman-centric community sharing difficult situations without one of the good men lashing out because they felt personally attacked.


  • MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoWitches VS Patriarchy@lemmy.caGood comeback
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    7 days ago

    “Reverse sexism.” Okay, so women can never point out hurtful things that might be sexist because it’s sexist against men to point out sexism. No recourse, then? Got it. So, I belive this user is coming at this question in bad faith, as his mind is seemingly made up on what he thinks, so that first question was actually a statement, rather than genuinely asking how we’d respond to the roles being reversed.

    If that’s not the case, my mistake. If it is, please go to a different community with this stuff. Your side won the culture war. My side can no longer use our first amendment rights in public peacefully without having the National Guard called. Just leave us in peace in our tiny corners of the internet we have left until my country’s government decides that is also illegal.


  • Condescension and gatekeeping is never okay. If a woman did this to a man, I would defend the man. So it’s not a double standard.

    It’s just that women frequently deal with this when they partake in male-centric hobbies. When this happens, there’s often some element of misogyny at play. So it’s okay for us to point out that specific situation and say it’s frustrating, and doing so doesn’t mean we’re saying this has never happened to men, nor that it’s morally virtuous for women in subcultures to condescend to men.

    Also, this culture war thing is so exhausting. Everyone reads between lines and assumes the worst in everyone.