Hexamerous [he/him]

  • 0 Posts
  • 209 Comments
Joined 5 months ago
Cake day: May 6th, 2024
  • Hexamerous [he/him]@hexbear.nettochapotraphouse@hexbear.net•Ladies, is it masculine to use flashlights??English
    1·
    8 hours ago

    Tactical breakdown and analysis:

    1. I don’t need to light up an entire block, when would you need this? The flash is good enough for walking home, even in the forest, I use it to see ice patches in the winter.

    2. But you could, right?

    3. If you have one flashlight you’ll be able to drain the battery and switch it out in time before it starts leaking.

    4. pulls out power-bank

    5. Flashlight will also drain, no matter how many you have, they will eventually drain. What then, hu?

    6. put the phone down facing the flash up Also you need to hold most flashlights so…

    7. Nah, I have one in the kitchen that I only use for traveling and emergency power. It’s always charged.

    8. I plug in the power-bank before that happens.

    9. It’s the same technology used to indicate battery health.

    10. I fire up my old phone. I keep it charged for just such occasions.

    11. 90% of people know how to use a phone. And you still only need one flashlight in the kitchen. Again, how big is your house? Elderly and child accessibility is a good point tho.

    12. What?

    13. Dry your hands on your pants or/and make the tactile side button activate the flash when you click it.

    14. So in this emergency scenario you don’t want to be found?

    15. You can charge the phone (with a power-bank for example), you don’t need to throw it away every-time the a battery is drained. And you already have a phone, that’s the whole point. No need to buy even more electronic crap and ship it around the globe.

    16. put in wireless earbuds I’m out here listening to some guided meditation, trying to calm down because my hands all bloody for some reason. Hopefully they can triangulate my position using the cell towers. Right now I’m using the phone GPS to reach the closest road.

    17. What do you mean quickly, you have to go to the store to get it. If I can walk to the store I can find an outlet to charge my phone. If I have a car, I can charge the phone (and the power-bank) from the USB outlet.

    18. What? They’re not going to brick your phone when you’re using it. The flash doesn’t drain processing power, wtf are you talking about?

    19. So in this scenario, a unnamed shadow organization have hacked your phone, at the very moment you need a flashlight?

    20. dubble taps the side button

    Conclusion: Sir, I have demonstrated effectively and with high probability that 19 out of 20 possible tactical scenarios that could justify an array of Light Casting Devices can be condensed into a single form factor for easier deployment, accessibility and portability at a comparably cheaper price point than having multiple instruments and units deployed at the same time requiring less technical knowledge, serviceability and training to achieve the same results while using less resources to do so, sir!

    Sir! This WILL increase mission efficiency, sir!

  • Hexamerous [he/him]@hexbear.nettochapotraphouse@hexbear.net•Ladies, is it masculine to use flashlights??English
    1·
    1 day ago

    Having small, cheap lights all around the house, car, backpack, etc. is pretty useful.

    But you have a light in your pocket 99% of the time. I cant think of single time I’ve been caught without it and needed a light. Can you give me an example that justifies having several small flashlights scattered around the house.

    which leaks before you can actually use them

    Right, because you have too many light laying around…

    How big is your house anyways? You can’t fumble your way to the kitchen cabinet or wherever. Are you walking around in a giant mansion in the dead of night traversing long hallways and desolate corridors to find the fuse box. I’m sorry, it doesn’t make sense to me.

    What people need is a powerbank, that way you can watch movies while the power is out or call the emergency service or… use it as a flashlight,

  • Hexamerous [he/him]@hexbear.nettochapotraphouse@hexbear.net•Ladies, is it masculine to use flashlights??English
    15·
    1 day ago

    Tactical scenario: You’re on your way from point A: the treat’n’slop to point B: your suburban MacMansion. As you’re reaching from the supersized slurp-slop and a squirrel runs across the road (for some reason there’s still pockets of resistance between out settlement where animal life still exists. Someone failed at their main mission to keep our trade routes safe, but I digress.)

    What happens: You swirl and find yourself with a blown out tire on your mega pickup. No worries, just climb out of the car to change the tire, it’s just a meter or so, you can make the jump.

    S.T.O.P!

    What’s this, your old sports ball injury is acting up from the elevated stress levels. First it stopped you from making the team, then it stopped you from making the border guard, and now it’s threatening your life. You don’t have enough paracord on your lighter for a makeshift rope ladder to make the climb. Neither your knife, nor your backup ankle multi-tool is big enough to thrust into the side of the truck to make a step so you could climb down. It would snap from the load.

    You’re stuck.

    You could reach for the phone, sure. But that would mean opening the Faraday pocket and reveal your location. And in order to access the Light Emitting Diode on the back you’ll need to remove the EMP-protection case on your iPhone. No dice.

    All that remains is your single, ultra-bright tactical 500mah 70lumen $300 titanium key-chain flashlight. You can turn it on and wiggle it back an forth to signal other cars zipping by.

    S.T.O.P!

    Turning that thing on will drain the batteries fast. You don’t know how long you’ll be stuck on this main road. But you remember from hours of pouring over the manual, testing several… Nye, dozens of flashlights, watching probably 100s of review and unpacking videos that this one comes with a S.T.R.O.B.E. function already programmed into it.

    10 min later, a fellow patriot stops and lend you assistance.

    Scenario over.